During the day & evening he always asks, "Where do I go pee?" I tell him and sometimes have to show him. During the night if I don't hear him get up he will sometimes go on the carpet. When I hear him I tell him to go in the bathroom and direct him. Sometimes he leaves a puddle on the floor not realizing he should go in the toilet. I've tried putting puppy pads on the floor, but he trips on them. I now resort to having towels around the toilet bowl and if there is a puddle elsewhere well then I just have to clean it up. Anyone else dealing with this? He has Alzheimer's now for about 8 years. I am his only caregiver.
Incontinence in the home is awful. Everything starts to smell. You'll have to replace carpet and pad right down to the flooring, which, if it's wood, soaks up urine and poop. No getting rid of the odor. No point in trying.
What is your plan for when you can’t caregive for him anymore because his needs overwhelm your abilities? You are nearly there, so I hope you have a plan in place. What you are doing isn’t going to work for much longer.
At least for overnight.
Either that or you can try placing a bedside commode right next to his bed, but there is no guarantee that he will know what it's for, and you still risk pee all over the floor/carpet.
When my late husband(who had vascular dementia)got to where he was missing the toilet with his pee, I made him sit down to pee. Yes I made him. And eventually he got used to it and did it automatically.
But very long story short, his incontinence got much worst and eventually he had to get a supra pubic catheter, which made both of our lives much better/easier.
But also do know that incontinence is often the straw that will break the camels back and when a loved one needs to be placed. Only you can decide just how much more you can put up with or tolerate without your health being affected.
I hope you will know what your limitations are.
Best wishes.
My DH has difficulty walking, not dementia, and he uses a combo of Depends plus a urinal for night time.
But because my husband was paralyzed on his right side and had essential tremors in his left arm/hand, I was the one still that had to get up and hold the urinal for him so I didn't have pee all over the bed.
If the OP's husband can't remember where to pee now, I'm not sure he would remember to use the urinal, or the bedside commode, or anything else.
Sad but true.
My grandmother thought that our green shag carpet was the grass and our brown furniture was trees. We could never stop her from peeing behind the tree. She would shoosh you, because people will see her if you aren't quite.
It is truly heartbreaking to watch someone we love lose the ability to function in the world.
Hopefully a urinal or a bedside commode will help. I would also try an alarm that goes off when he stands up or gets out of bed, this will ruin your sleep but, imo, far better then cleaning carpets often.
Remember that you matter too! So be sure and find ways to take care of you while doing what you do for your husband. Hugs!
diwners!!
Also, he definitely would not remember to use a urinal or bedside toilet……at least not for what it’s supposed to be used for. 🤪
Anyway, several things that have helped us some are 1) we put arrows on the floor from his side of the bed to his bathroom door & into the toilet with red duct tape. (Shorter dashes & then the arrow as you get to the bathroom.) 2) a bathroom sign on the bathroom door 3) once he’s in the bathroom, a red toilet seat (we read that sometimes with dementia patients they can’t make out things in a room of all one similar color so make the toilet seat a distinct color from everything else)
My dad still has accidents, but they are fewer than before, especially on the carpet. Most are at least in the bathroom now. Hope at least one of these things help you as well.
https://youtu.be/y3b49IJ7_RU?si=sPCvKpP2yz25QUt9
https://www.techenhancedlife.com/solutions/dementia-bed-minder