He already has given her $50,000. Now he has been diagnosed with Dementia and I have taken over control of finances. He pleads with me daily to let him give her another $50,000 because she is desperate. She told him that and showed him a photo of her horrible apartment. We have not seen the actual apartment. Her associate told me she runs this scam on all her male patients. I am going nuts with the constant pleas. Ideas?
You must relentlessly redirect, distract or ignore your husband's pleas. He may need meds at this point so talk to his doctor.
Then make sure to report this crime -- it's a felony and there will be more victims. Maybe you'll have a chance of getting some of that money back.
that almost happened to a friend..
Get them when they are the weakest..these croons think these patients don’t have loved ones?
Is there anyway to get this ball rolling? This person actually needs to be investigated to see how many victims there are… guaranteed there are more than one victim..
.. do you have POA!??
My husband refuses to accept that she could possibly be a scam artist. He says maybe she did that in the past, but not with him. He said she told him he was like a father to her and he promised to support her like a daughter. I think that promise is stuck in his head.
I want to know how to deal with the day to day begging for money to give to her.
If you don't have Long Term Care insurance you'll have to pay out-of-pocket. Only half of your assets will go towards his care in a facility.
If you keep him home (and personally I would not), send him to adult day care 7 days a week. Clearly you have plenty of money if $50,000 checks can be handed out to scammers, so spend some on something that can enable you to have some kind of life.
I did homecare for 25 years. When someone with dementia gets fixated on something or someone and gets in a loop, you must ignore that topic 100%. DO NOT give it any validation or attention of any kind. If he's talking about her leave the room. If he follows you, get a pair of ear buds and listen to music or a podcast. This way you won't even hear him and will be able to ignore him totally.
How to stop the constant pleas from your husband. She really got her hooks in him. I've got no good answers for you, I would just try different tactics, see what works and what helps. Sorry not more helpful
It's so wrong that people do this stuff, and sad.
All you can do is ignore his day to day begging for money and talking about this woman. It would be to much for me to hear this daily without snapping at him. Unfortunately his brain is stuck in a loop and until his focus goes to something else you're stuck with this annoying version of your husband.
Snapping at him may break him out of the dementia loop he's in about this woman. She's certainly feel better, then the ignoring can begin.
She has to ignore the topic completely and start medicating her husband. The doctor can help with that.
Placement in memory care shouldn't be ruled out either.
You can and should report her to the State licensing board.
It's so sad that a professional would take advantage like this.
Let me tell you something about physical therapists. I dated one for a while back in 2011. He made a six-figure income. Even when you're just starting out in that line of work you're making what an RN is making or better. So, she can afford a decent apartment even at today's prices.
After reading further in your comments on the thread, I'm pleased to read that you grew a brain and started applying the powers of POA to stop the despicable, low-down thief who ripped off you and your husband.
Now I'm going tell you how to metaphorically bury her.
1) You did right going to the police and filing a report. You should also make one with the fraud division of the state police and the FBI fraud division. The amount is over $10,000. That is considered grand theft and becomes federal at that amount. The person who gave her this money has dementia. You are the POA which puts you in charge. You did not consent to giving her this money. This means she scammed and stole it.
2) You report her to not only her job, but also to the state's Licensing Board. Physical therapists like all healthcare professionals have to be licensed by the state. Report her a$$ at once.
3) You contact her landlord and tell them that she scammed $50,000 from one of her patients with has dementia and you are his wife.
4) You send copies of the police report to the IRS, because you know she didn't pay taxes on that money.
5) Is she foreign? If so then put in a call to ICE just for good measure. Even if she's legal, if there is the slightest discrepancy in her paperwork she can be deported. Green Card status can be revoked if a person commits a crime. Elder financial abuse at $50,000 is a crime maybe even a felony at that amount.
Don't stop until the $50,000 is paid back in full or this woman is jobless, homeless, and/or getting deported.
As for your husband's obsession with giving her money. Ignore his nonsense. You're the one in charge of the money. Don't even allow him enough access to funds to pay for his own coffee. If he gets to incessant about it, drug him. Talk to his doctor about putting him on meds to keep him calmed down.
Clearly you've got plenty of money. So spend some on the services of a private investigator. Honestly, you should hit this scammer with every available resource.
Good luck.
Write a fake "thank you" note "from her" and address it to him and mail it to him (no return address). The note content thanks him for his help but now she's in a better place and doesn't need or want help anymore and that she's moved out of the country with a new wealthy boyfriend so she won't be in contact with him again. Take out this note when he wants to send her money.
He won't know what her handwriting looks like but make it look different than yours or have a friend write it.
Hopefully he doesn't use a phone or have internet access anymore and if he does it's one where you control all his incoming and outgoing calls from an app (Raz Memory phone).
Also, how is it that the other PT knows she did this to other patients but didn't report her? S/He should also be reported to the licensing board.
We start with the fact your husband is now never to be in any room alone with this person. Nor should this person be seen again.
All right, this is elder abuse and elder fraud and the penalties are severe and will result in loss of licensure.
It is time to take your proof of your husband's having given money to a physical therapist to the police. File a report with your proof. Contact the licensure board in your state for physical therapists: this person may not even BE one or would know better than to do this.
Next call APS and open a case on this. Ask them to your home and be ready to show your proof.
This is "gifting" of money and will preclude your husband's getting any aid from Medicaid in the next five years (2 1/2 in California). You need police reports on it.
Now, if your husband is completely competent and wishes to give this money away that is his right and I suggest you get IMMEDIATE legal separation and division of assets. At once. On Monday, if that's the case.