My Mom has been sick for 3 1/2 years. She has PAD & it is killing her. She is about 60 lbs & in bed all the time. We have hospice care for her at home. It feels like this will never end. We are watching her decline and it is horrifying. It is hard to find things to talk about because everything brings tears for me. I feel like I don't know what to do to help her or how to talk to her about her impending death.
We are much closer to the end at this time. the Hospice nurse said this week we may have 3 weeks. He is showing early signs, skin changes and he stopped eating and drinking this week.
Sad for me and the rest of the family but I know he would not want to live the way he has the past 10 years.
Hospice is a great help. Again, use them as a resource.
Hospice provides family counseling. So much depends on acceptance of the situation. Acceptance doesn't mean that you like it but you know it can't be changed. From there you can learn to deal with it.
Your mom may be doing okay with dying but you are, understandably, having a difficult time. Please take advantage of the hospice counseling and perhaps talk with their chaplain, as well. The more you accept the better company you can provide for your mom.
I actually just found my first draft of this letter to her and read it again, it was pretty gushy, Lol, but it is nice to have and to remember her by.
Our Moms have a way of knowing our feelings, is my thought, so maybe just give her bits and pieces as time goes on, of how much you love and appreciate her, how much you will miss her, and that its OK to let go in her own time.
I'm so sorry you are losing your Mom, it's the hardest thing ever! Good luck going forward!
Talk to the Nurse, the Social Worker and ask them the best way to begin the discussion.
I am sure that your Mom is well aware of the fact that she is dying.
Very good possibility that she wants to know how to talk to you about it as well.
Sort of like the discussion that you and she may have had back when you were 11 or 12....No WANTS to have "the talk" but discussing what arrangements she wants can relieve a lot of stress for you and the rest of the family.
I wish my husband had talked about his wishes. I never knew that he wanted to be buried until his sister told me. Now I sit here trying to make decisions that should have been made by the two of us.
Getting back to Hospice...talk to the Nurse, Social Worker, Chaplain and ask them to help you talk to your Mom.
Good luck