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CK, I don't mean to make light of your problem, but it reminded me of a something an older friend said to me once and I wanted to share the chuckle. He said;
"One thing I learned about getting older, never trust a fart"
Sweety, I know you want answers but you also need a little hug. I have been there. My mother in law had a colostamy bag and sometimes it would explode when I changed it. Sooooo bad. So I can relate to what your going through. Yes, get her some adult pull ups. But also, what your dealing with can get very difficult. Make sure you make time for yourself. When you do something for yourself it makes your task a little bit easier. Good luck dear.
Story: long ago when the indian parent got old, the eldest son took them to top of mountain and left them for starving or animals to eat them, then one day, old man said to eldest son, "son, be sure to bring your son with you when you are old, for "YOU ARE NEXT! " The indians never took another parent to top of mountain and left them again. I am glad, I am part cherokee myself.
Moral of story: YOU "ARE" NEXT... and my friend, none of us is exempt from growing old and the same problems will happen to us.
Well first, get her some adult pull ups. They are disposable and can be torn down the sides to remove so they don' t have to be pulled down. And baby wipes. They make the clean up job easier. Second, check out her diet. Perhaps it is something she is eating. Or it could be caused by her meds. Talk to her doctor.
Here's another possibility: passing gas so often might be therapeutic for her and provide a sense of comfort -- and entitlement -- after a long, hard life. And who knows? Mortifying you might also be amusing to her.
I'd look at her straight in the eyes and ask if she's doing it on purpose. ... Inquiring minds want to know.
My mother was incontinent,...she refused to wear depends and towards the end used to say I spilled water on her, when she had the dilirium. Her kidney function was going because of her meds,(eg. large doses of lasix) because of CHF...also because of her meds should would get constipated...the constipation would cause the fecal incontinence....when she had fractured spine, she was also incontinent...The other thing I remember was my mother would become very embarrassed because of her fecal incontinence (even with her dilirium) because I had to clean her up and clean everything up....I used incontinent pads on the chairs and on her bed, that helped...I also had a commode nearby because she could not get to the bathroom in time. She also wore a skirt, as it was easier to get to the bathroom....She became very apologetic and upset with herself...I always told it did not matter that it could happen to anyone,,,I tried to not make her feel bad or make a big deal of it as it was just part of life. I did let the doctor know. I gave up trying to get her to wear the pads...she did not want to admit that she had a problem. I know that it is difficult and tiring, and I did a lot of laundry and had extra slippers for her. I always tried to imagine how I would feel in her situation and that helped me get through it. I have had some TIAs and I know how humiliating it can be to be dependent on others. I don't think that your mother is doing it on purpose...Again, try a commode.Of when I used the disposable incontinent pads, I always covered it up with a blanket so she would not be embarrassed when people came to visit. I also kept the pads on the floor by the commode, Just be careful she does not trip...Put the commode on top of the pads. I hope this helps and helps you feel better knowing that there are so many of us who have gone through what you are going through..
I'm on the right track and doing all that you've advised. Sometimes I wonder if she does it itentionally so I had to through it out there.. thanks you all
First, your Mom is still fairly young and only had a stroke which might have affected her bodily functions. If the doctor says that everything is normal then she must be one of those people that feel something in their a__, don't know if the're going to f__t or s__t on themselves, but let it rip anyway without a care in the world about their surroundings. ... Nasty.
Get some of those adult diapers, or have her sit by the window now that Spring is here and point a fan in her direction during those fetid days. Also, try that anti-flatulence pill that starts with a "B" and change the diet around. If she still smells like she wants to be alone, oblige her every now and then. After all, you need to breathe.
Those are very wise words, Agecare222! I think of that often as I take loving care of my dear old Mom. What goes around comes around.....But, that can be true both ways, I suppose. The parents who were bad parents to their children may not be receiving the most loving care now from those they treated badly. Sad, but true!
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
"One thing I learned about getting older, never trust a fart"
The indians never took another parent to top of mountain and left them again. I am glad, I am part cherokee myself.
Moral of story: YOU "ARE" NEXT... and my friend, none of us is exempt from growing old and the same problems will happen to us.
Second, check out her diet. Perhaps it is something she is eating. Or it could be caused by her meds. Talk to her doctor.
Here's another possibility: passing gas so often might be therapeutic for her and provide a sense of comfort -- and entitlement -- after a long, hard life. And who knows? Mortifying you might also be amusing to her.
I'd look at her straight in the eyes and ask if she's doing it on purpose. ... Inquiring minds want to know.
First, your Mom is still fairly young and only had a stroke which might have affected her bodily functions. If the doctor says that everything is normal then she must be one of those people that feel something in their a__, don't know if the're going to f__t or s__t on themselves, but let it rip anyway without a care in the world about their surroundings. ... Nasty.
Get some of those adult diapers, or have her sit by the window now that Spring is here and point a fan in her direction during those fetid days. Also, try that anti-flatulence pill that starts with a "B" and change the diet around. If she still smells like she wants to be alone, oblige her every now and then. After all, you need to breathe.
Good luck my friend.
-- ED
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