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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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How much help does your mom need? I am going to play devils' advocate here and while I say what I am going to say it may be a reason not an excuse for his behavior ... If mom does need a lot of assistance is it possible that her husband (I am guessing this is a step-dad to you) is burnt out. If he has been doing this for 3 years alone that is a long time. Can they get help into the house that will help her and give him a break? Even a caregiver 2 or 3 times a week for 4 or 5 hours each day can make a world of difference to a caregiver that is burnt out.
If mom falls and can no t get up she should call 911 and ask for a "Lift Assist" generally if there is no transport to the hospital there is no charge for the lift assist call. For safety reasons her husband should not be helping her get up, nor should you. If he hurts himself or her what happens then? If you hurt yourself or her if you try getting her up who will care for you while you recover.
Keep in mind that he is the one that will make medical decisions for her unless she has selected someone else. If she does not want him making decisions for her she HAS to appoint someone else and that has to be done legally.
If he is abusing her mentally or physically that should be reported to APS. She has to be willing to verify the abuse. She has to be willing to remove herself (or him) from the situation.
Her husband sounds like a real piece of work. He won't let you in the house when he's there? WTF??
This is a not a safe environment for your mom. Hubby could certainly be burnt out and just hates what he's doing so is not able to be nice to your mom anymore. She deserves better.
I would start looking into facilities for her to move into ASAP. Or he can move out and you can arrange caregivers at home for mom.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I am going to play devils' advocate here and while I say what I am going to say it may be a reason not an excuse for his behavior ...
If mom does need a lot of assistance is it possible that her husband (I am guessing this is a step-dad to you) is burnt out. If he has been doing this for 3 years alone that is a long time.
Can they get help into the house that will help her and give him a break?
Even a caregiver 2 or 3 times a week for 4 or 5 hours each day can make a world of difference to a caregiver that is burnt out.
If mom falls and can no t get up she should call 911 and ask for a "Lift Assist" generally if there is no transport to the hospital there is no charge for the lift assist call.
For safety reasons her husband should not be helping her get up, nor should you. If he hurts himself or her what happens then? If you hurt yourself or her if you try getting her up who will care for you while you recover.
Keep in mind that he is the one that will make medical decisions for her unless she has selected someone else. If she does not want him making decisions for her she HAS to appoint someone else and that has to be done legally.
If he is abusing her mentally or physically that should be reported to APS. She has to be willing to verify the abuse. She has to be willing to remove herself (or him) from the situation.
This is a not a safe environment for your mom. Hubby could certainly be burnt out and just hates what he's doing so is not able to be nice to your mom anymore. She deserves better.
I would start looking into facilities for her to move into ASAP. Or he can move out and you can arrange caregivers at home for mom.