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My mother has had dementia for 3 years. I just found out my mother has signed over the deed to her house over to my sister. My mom told me the other day that she signed a bunch of papers on her house concerning the deed. she doesn't know why or how come my sister did that. I also went to her filing cabinet and noticed all my moms bank statements and will is gone. I've confronted my sister and she just tells me to don't worry about it. Also when I asked her to bring my moms bank statements back she told me no. Isn't this illegal and if it is what type of attorney can I call for help

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Does sister hold power-of-attorney for mom?
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Is your sister POA? If so this could be a violation of fiduciary duty. I would see an attorney at your earliest convenience.
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AZDaughterinLaw Apr 2023
It sounds like mom signed it, not the sister as POA, based on the description provided in the post. Unless the sibling can prove that mom was legally incompetent to sign at the time it was signed, then it is valid. Simply saying or even having been diagnosed with dementia does not necessarily make her legally incompetent.

Keeping bank statements and financial information is by no means a violation of fiduciary responsibly as a POA or even as the child entrusted with the finances. Keeping financial records would be part of her responsibility as POA. She has no fiduciary duty to share her mom's finances with her sibling.

My advice would be for the sibling to calm down, ask his sister questions in as unemotional way as possible and get as many facts as possible. Keep in mind that she may be following the instructions of the mom to maintain privacy. If he still believes his mother has been taken advantage of by his sister, talk to an elder law attorney to see what actions can be taken, if any, by that state's laws.
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Was there someone to be a witness to the signing of the documents?
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This could be very good or very bad. Which depends on what your mom’s future financial situation becomes.

The “good”would be that mom’s dementia is such that mom cannot handle $ anymore, so there was fraud, etc worries so Sissy condensed banking to deal with things. Maybe put property into a Trust so it could bypass probate which is usually a good estate move. But I’ll bet a case of Prosecco, this was not what happened but instead Sissy did a $ grab. And this will become an issue once mom become more frail and needs caregiving and a facility.

I’ll bet your mom is not sitting on a nest egg of $300K and a home worth 700K; mom does not have a coterie of family and friends and church members who all can devote whatever 24/7 time needed to caregive and run errands for mom for your mom’s foreseeable future till forever. I’ll bet your mom is like more elderly in the US…… mom has a modest home, maybe worth 300K and the average Social Security monthly income of around $1,200/1800 a month and maybe a smallish savings of 50K. And that dear Frank Paz will pose very real issues with what your Sister has done by signing over your moms house to her and ditto for moms banking and other financials for the day when mom needs caregiving help.

Here’s my thoughts as to why it’s a problem and why and what it means to you as the dutiful son:
- mom has gifted her home to Sissy. That “gifting” will make mom totally ineligible for Medicaid to pay for any custodial program for her. So no State custodial AL, MC or NH eligibility for mom due to gifting.
- gifting places a transfer penalty on any LTC type of Medicaid application. It’s set by # of days too. It’s a division type of math problem based on the day rate State pays for room&board & property value by tax assessor starting date of the Medicaid application. So State that pays $200 a day with house value of $275K is 1,375 days of ineligibility. 1,375 days is almost 4 years of ineligibility!
Sissy has got to realize that as she did this is, it is now 100% her problem, her purse, her wallet to pay for all of moms costs of care should caring for mom get way waaaaay beyond what she can do at home or mom runs out of her own $. Moms gonna be ineligible for facility Medicaid. All property records are keystrokes for a caseworker to find out about. That gifting will be there looming as a penalty for 5 years from the date of the filing Medicaid application for almost all States. It’s not your problem. No es su problema Paz! So if Sissy comes asking you for $ to pay for help for your mom, think hard before you give Sissy a penny.

- if mom was diagnosed with dementia as others have said she may not have been competent or cognitive enough to understand what she signed. That Sissy basically “took advantage of a very adult”.
This is a very real crime. APS / Adult Protective Services can be asked to do an investigation on this.
The issue on this - imho not an attorney opinion - is that mom may not yet have had “harm” from the actions done by your Sister. If mom is still living at the house that once was hers, getting her groceries, all her bills are getting paid, utilities are on, she’s clean & fed, APS might not find problems. Sissy can say “Mom forced me to take the house, $ in the bank as a gift” yada, yada. It’s hard to counteract stuff like this. There’s no real harm to your mom…….yet. The harm will be when mom does not have the $ to pay for AL or MC or NH as there is no house sale $ as the house was gifted and $ in moms bank accounts was drained by Sissy.

So what to do? What do you think Sissy actions are all about? Is she a greedy witch and already has been coming to you to pay for things for mom? OR Did she do this to streamline assets & $ to get all assets outside of probate and Medicaid lookback?
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AlvaDeer Apr 2023
I always so appreciate when you are here to field these questions!
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You've gotten great advice below. One thing you could do is to call Social Services or your area's Elder Services agency and file a complaint. You'll have a professional come and make a determination of any elder abuse.

Even if your sister did have POA, with your mom's dementia, it's quite possible she didn't have the clear mind to know what she was doing. That might be hard to verify though.

If, in that moment she signed the deed, she was in her right mind and knew what she was doing, it might be legal. No matter what, there should have been a witness, like a notary, involved.
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Jada824 Apr 2023
A notary is just there to witness the person’s signature ……..not if they’re in their right mind or not.

Even lawyers don’t question a person’s competency. My sibling brought my 95 year old mother with dementia to a new lawyer that neither one of them had met before and had her change her trust and will that she had in place for 16 years to benefit himself 100% removing all other beneficiaries.

The lawyers did what he asked even though she wouldn’t sign it the first time they went back 4 months later when my brother told them she was ready to sign.

Lawyers just want the $$ and won’t question anything.
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Ok my post should have read “APS called in to look at if Sissy took advantage of a VULNERABLE adult; not a “very” adult. LOL.

on the notary, notary alone really not good enough. Notary really just has to look to see if the person signing is the same name as on the documents. And even then that has issues, eg. JR has same name as Sr and the document doesn’t specify which. I’ve always been told if it’s important, ya gotta have it witnessed by two and they cannot be family or in anyway related or were once related ( no ex husbands) or could ever themselves benefit.

if Sissy is POA for your mom she should never ever do things that directly benefit herself. POA is a legally recognized entity and responsibility, not to be taken casually. So house signed over to her (sissy) name would be total breach of her fiduciary duty as POA, but if she got mom to sign it over to her daughter not the same type of breach of fiduciary duty imho. Still will be an eventual clusterF should mom run out of $ and needs it to pay for care or mom files for Medicaid, but it’s probably more Sissy is clueless & greedy POA imo.
Again OP don’t let your Sisters ill thought out actions become your problems and your costs.
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AZDaughterinLaw Apr 2023
My husband is a notary. If someone seems potentially vulnerable, he has the responsibility to make sure that the person understands the purpose of the document and/or not under pressure by someone to sign it. He has denied notarizing for seniors when they can't express what the document is about and sense they are comfortable with the decision.

There is nothing in the post that indicates that she signed over the house to herself as POA. The mother may have signed it when she was still legally competent (with or without dementia).

Some POA documents may not prevent making real estate transactions or gifts even to the POA.

There are questions to be asked to the sister and/or a lawyer but guess I'm saying is don't jump to conclusions based on the little information we have to go on.
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ANYTHING signed by an individual with dimentia or any other mental incapacity is completely invalid. This is a no brainer. No pun intended .
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Caregiverstress Apr 2023
Actually that isn’t the case. The bar for competency is pretty low legally speaking. For instance, if the person with dementia is able to recognize they own a house they will often be determined competent to decide what to do with it. My father has Alzheimer’s and is in the process of selling his cabins, something I have been urging him to do as I do not want the headache of dealing with them when he is gone. He knows he has cabins but has no idea that it is me who has been working behind the scenes to hire an agent to list them. Once he agreed to sell I said “okay great dad, I’ll find an agent for you”. The agent was already lined up, and I told her all about my dad’s condition and spoke to his attorney to make sure he could legally sign the listing agreement and enter into a contract of sale. His attorney of many years who originally did his trust and POA (which I have) said as long as he still knows he owns property and has stated his intent to sell, he can sign the papers.
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One word….Lawyer. Dementia patients can not do legal paperwork. In some states not even a divorce. Go to court. My mom was po’d at my brother and asked me to get a new will to cut him out. I refused. I am her POA. She forgot! Sister may be considered “abusing” her authority.
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Fawnby Apr 2023
Dementia patients can sign legal paperwork as long as they know what they’re signing. A lawyer decides whether they understand it. Also people with dementia are not always known to have dementia. They don’t walk around with signs on their heads proclaiming them demented. They can carry on useful and meaningful lives for many years. That includes driving to a lawyer’s office, drawing up a new will and signing it. Or driving from Florida to California. Or hosting a dinner party for 12.
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Family law atty
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gladimhere Apr 2023
Nope. Elder Law attorney is needed
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Consult with an attorney. Every situation like this that I have heard of by friends close to me, has turned into a problem. Make sure your sister doesn’t get a reverse mortgage. they can be used legitimately, yet I’ve never seen it.

i’m making bold statements based on little fact (Will,Poa,etc). Find any attorney to consult with. Some may give you a free consult. Elder abuse cases can be lengthy.
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If your mother has been diagnosed with Dementia het signature should not be legal. If you are using the term Dementia only b/c of your own observations, it may be harder to prove her incompetence. If her doctor can document het incompetence, an attorney might help you invalidate papers she has recently signed. You need an attorney's help to sort this out.
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Fawnby Apr 2023
Persons with dementia can indeed sign legal documents. It’s up to the attorney to deem them competent. The attorney vets them to make sure they understand what they’re signing. They’re trained to do that.
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Just because someone has been diagnosed with dementia does not mean they cannot sign legal documents. In fact, early stages of dementia many are still considered competent to make agreements. It is not a simple switch.

Did you check the clerk and recorders office to see what documents have been recorded? You might want to do that.
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BurntCaregiver Apr 2023
@glad

It is a very simple switch. All the sister would have had to do is take her mother to a lawyer's office. They will do it right there. Most will not even question the reason why if it's one of their own children bringing them in.
People don't file POA documents or a will before someone dies in city hall or probate court. The law firm they come from is where those things are kept. The person making them has official copies. I've known people who pulled a fast one and downloaded and printed POA and Last Will and Testament documents online and no one knew until the elder couldn't make decisions anymore or they passed. The person who was the original POA or executor gets a big surprise. They will hold up if no one fights them.
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If your mother has dementia she cannot legally make decisions for herself. So what your sister just pulled is illegal and can bring criminal charges on her like fraud and elder abuse.
Please make a police report and get yourself to a lawyer who specializes in elder law.
I've seen this sort of thing happen many times over the years with families I've worked for. One sibling decides to get cute and sneak their mom or dad with dementia down to a lawyer on the DL to change a will or switch a POA. My husband's friend is lawyer who specializes in estate planning. He also does elder law work. When an elderly client is brought in to change a will or a POA he requires that there be legal paperwork stating that the former POA (if the reason for the change is other than them being deceased) and heirs to a will are aware of the changes. Their permission is not necessary, only their awareness. This practice prevents a whole lot of family problems.
Please have a consultation with a lawyer.
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Jada824 Apr 2023
My point exactly. My sibling brought my mom with dementia to a lawyer amending her trust to benefit him 100%. He even called the lawyer & told her what he wanted done……..
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Time to lawyer up. Why was all of this done in secrecy by your sister and then telling you don’t worry about it? I’m going through something very similar and it all sounds fishy to me.

Some siblings are very greedy & sneaky and think they’re entitled to everything.
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Wolfpack Apr 2023
i agree. The words "don't worry about it" along with the refusal show you bank statements should lead you directly to an elder law attorney ASAP.
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elder care attorney call. did your mother already have a will and a power of attorney and health care directive? maybe your mother did it already and made your sister in charge without telling you. does she take charge of affairs and caretaking more? in case she needs a nursing home they meaning medicade looks back 5 years to try to recoup the estate.
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Hello frankpaz. I'm sorry there is tension between you and your sister. That is the last thing anyone needs when caring for a LO with dementia.

I am living in my parents' home and helping them age in place. My mom is four years into her dementia diagnosis. I have two older siblings, who live out of state. One sibling visits twice a year so I can take a break. The other sibling is not involved in my parents' care.

My parents and I visited their attorney of 25+ years who happens to specialize in ELDER CARE. My Pop and I have POA.

The attorney has given us direction re: next steps. Some things we're doing and some things my Pop does not want to do, at least at this time.

My Pop is determined to leave money behind for their three, fully functioning adult children (including me). I have made it clear to him and the attorney that I want them to use every last penny on their care. They worked hard for their money.

The attorney says my mom is in a swiftly closing window of time when she can still sign docs so we've been signing a lot. My siblings do not know that my oldest sibling is no longer the executor of their estate; I am.

I'd like to think we've all led lives that speak to our integrity. None of us has done anything to suggest we'd be anything but fair, if money should remain after my folks are gone.

If your sister's life proves her to be untrustworthy, then I would contact an elder care attorney. If she has appeared to be trustworthy to this point, and this is unusual, I suggest the three of you go to an elder care attorney together.

~ VV
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Get an elder care lawyer to represent your mom. I am sure he has ways of getting those documents and new ones in place if needed.
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Does your mother already have a diagnosis of dementia? I’m thinking not. In the state of California, I was made aware when I was caregiving that a law was coming into affect that before important documents can be signed, like wills and trusts, that the owner has to have a clearance from a doctor that they do not have dementia. If they do then everything‘s OK. if they don’t, they are supposed to get one. if they do have a diagnosis of dementia, it automatically has to go through a conservatorship. Complicated situation.

We don’t know the full story. She may be the bad sister or she may be the good sister and you’re the bad sister who’s unhappy about it. We lean towards you being the good sister because you’re here and you’re asking. I pray your mother is protected and best interests are put first no matter what.
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My mom added my name to the deed of the family home. It stipulated she would have "Life Use" of the property, and I would be the "silent" owner. The property tax bills came with both our names, with the note "in care of" by mom's name, as in the eyes of our state, she was still the owner of the property. I helped out with minor repairs and up-keep of the property.

Years later, when I took on the role of her cargiver, the situation developed where Medicaid was the best solution to assist me in keeping her in the family home. There was no issue regarding the property, as it was way past the five year look-back period.

Each year, I would go over important documents with mom: POA, Health Care Proxy, Will, Funeral Arrangements, Obituary, and Deed, to make sure she was OK with everything. I would then prepare a sheet that both of us signed and dated noting our review. I wanted it for my record in case anyone (including siblings who were never involved in her care) every questioned my decisions. Regarding the Deed, I always stressed to her she was the owner of the home until her death.

When she died at age 93, I was prepared. Her funeral wishes were followed. When it came to closing the estate, it was a very simple process that involved my attorney filing a death certificate with the County Clerk to confirm ownership of the property transferred to me. My siblings never questioned anything.

Many of the horror stories that occur regarding control over property, bank accounts, etc. might, and I stress might, be avoided if wishes were discussed and reviewed on a regular basis. You note in your profile you are your mom's caregiver. How did your sister get access to the will, etc. I always kept such documents in a locked box. As others have already stated, your situation requires the advice of an attorney. I wish you well.
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elisny Apr 2023
Based on my experience and observations, it is rare for people to be as prepared as you were. Good job!
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"Can Medicaid come after the house retroactively once they both pass away?"

Yes, Medicaid does take the house and other assets meaning the children can forfeit their inheritance to them and other debtors.

Here is a link that explains this better.

https://www.elderlawanswers.com/protecting-your-house-from-medicaid-estate-recovery-12155
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gladimhere Apr 2023
Medicaid does not "come after" the house. After death, Medicaid places a lien on the home that must be paid when the home is sold.
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Do you have other siblings? If yes, you should act together. Call any law office and ask them. You don’t need to use them
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frankpaz: Retain an elder law attorney.
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Well, a couple of negative things for your sister, aside from the frustration and moral unfairness factor to you:
1. If your mom signed over the house to her while still living, your sister's basis (for tax purposes) will be what your mom paid for the house, whereas if she would have just left the house to her after passing, your sister's tax basis would be the value of the house at the present time. So big taxes could be in store for your sister.
2. The other thing, as others have mentioned, is the 5 year Medicaid look back.

With both of those things in play, your sister might be in a for an unpleasant surprise.

I'm not an accountant, but I'm pretty sure that's the way it is in any state. Elder law attorney time!
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gladimhere Apr 2023
California Medicaid/MediCal look back is 2.5 years.
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Did/Do you have Financial POA and Medical POA? Do you know for a fact that your sister has the deed to the house? (Check the county appraiser's website to see who and when the ownership changed.)

Is your Mom's dementia so bad that she could be deemed mentally incapable of handling her own affairs?

About the bank statements, did you ask your Mom about them? Could your sister have put them on paperless setting? You could take your Mom to the bank so that she can ask them the questions or she can authorize you to know the answers to the questions, both temporarily as well as for the future.

Same for doctors and social security inquiries.

I would find out as much as you can about the state and ownership of her finances before you retain an attorney. If your Mom is mentally incapable to function, and you were acting as the POA, that is a completely different scenario, than one where your Mom is capable of making decisions and made your sister joint owner with right of survivorship or put the house under a trust.

Your Mom could have added your sister's name to all of her finances, if your Mom feared that all of her finances would be inaccessible at the time of death.

It is good to know how everything that your Mom has is titled.

Then retain the attorney, if the situation warrants it.
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Depending on your county, their GIS system may have links to everything you need. Documents would be recorded with the county clerk and reporter's office. You can look online or go into their office to ask for help.
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If your mother is diagnosed to have dementia, I would believe that her signing any documents is invalid. Contact an attorney or the bank who has the deed to the house, or both.

Gena / Touch Matters
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Does your mother have a will? Is the house mentioned in it?
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Sister could be taking advantage of your mother. Contact an elder lawyer. Need to protect your mom, Medicaid issues maybe affected if she’s stealing money & not using it on mom.
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did your sister help your mom with everything, while you did nothing? did your sister, while she helped your mom, become poorer and poorer while you went on with your life and became richer and richer? were all problems, stress, emergencies dumped on your sister?

or did you both help your mom equally? or perhaps even, you're the one who's been helping, and your sister did nothing?

some people only become "concerned" about their elderly parent, when money/assets/house issues suddenly appear.

keep in mind, there are different levels of dementia (even if diagnosed by a doctor). if mild, then the person is still mentally competent and allowed to sign the deed over to whomever they like. only a court can declare someone to be mentally incompetent.
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bundleofjoy Apr 2023
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i just noticed OP is gone. if you look on the profile, there is the "kitty" picture.
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