My mum is 80 years old. Three months ago she was diagnosed with breast cancer and we the family decided we do not want her to suffer with Chemotherapy or a surgery as she already has been suffering for 3-4 years from strokes and lost her memory and mobility and cognitive system.
A doctor is recommending surgery but our hospitals are really terrible we do not want to put her through any pain or difficulty in hospital. We prefer to give her a better quality of life at home and a lot of live and care. We are only worried about possible pain in the future. Does anybody know how to handle this in the future and help her through such pain if this develops more.
Who is recommending surgery? A general rule of thumb is a surgeon will almost always recommend surgery. My BIL just underwent radiation therapy for prostate cancer. When he was going to the various doctors before treatment, to get opinions on a treatment plan, the surgeon recommended surgery, but all the research showed he would achieve the same results with just radiation.
You can always seek a second opinion. You might find there are other more "doable" choices than just surgery or nothing.
Your mother's doctor ought also to have explained to you exactly what surgery he is proposing. It may be that the surgery is essential to her comfort, rather than aimed at a cure.
I say discuss what stage her cancer is with her care team and if it has metastasized anywhere else. Breast cancer in elderly women is fed by estrogen which they don’t produce anymore. You may be pleasantly surprised. My mom had high BP, heart disease, and high cholesterol well controlled with medication. She had the surgery and came home with a Jackson-Pratt drain (looks like a depressed bulb that provides suction for wound drainage). She had me as a RN to take care of that and a dressing change when needed.
My mother made it through her surgery very well. Don’t write off the surgery until your mother and you get all her specific information.
Good luck to you and your mother!
No, I would not put her thru this. I don't know how the doctor thinks she is going to do rehab and all the post op stuff. I agree, you mayvwant to get Hospice in for comfort care. They will take care of any pain she will have. My Mom got tired of being poked and prodded.
I am an RN all my life and had breast cancer 33 years ago. For the last decade (I am 78) I have not even done mammograms, just self exam, and I do have in writing and understood by my family that I would not take treatment any more for any cancer other than one obstructing say an airway, a bowel. That I would take palliative care and "the good drugs" for my final exit. California in fact now has right to die laws if death is imminent in 6 months or less.
Ask for a Palliative care consult and ask for staging information. If this is stage IV cancer, then death is a certainty, from it if not from something else before it.
And yes, there is almost always discomfort at end of life from something. Hospice means you accept death is coming, and you choose the good drugs to keep pain at bay, even if they hasten that death.