Good day, everyone. Happy New Year. God bless us all. I am Heather. I want to know ALL helpful, respectful, opinions. Thank you. I have been beside myself, but staying strong the way Daddy (before he went to heaven 3 yrs, 08/22) would have. Currently, my mom and I, who took good care of father, were inseparable. No "older" siblings didn’t rearrange their life OR work it into their schedule to do anything but visit sporadically from NJ. As of 2022 (almost 2 years ago) my mom called me regularly on the phone. A rarity now that the older brother illegally became P.O.A in 9/2020. He has been emotionally abusive to her. Mom again called me a year and a 1/2 ago and stated, "Please call the lawyer, Heather." She said she was being forced to "lie on me" and being told to say bad things to get me in trouble, but that she would not lie on her own daughter. Then she told me that she loved me, was very sad and again to please call the lawyer. She said she would keep calling to check up and asked me to do the same. I do not trust Dale (name changed for privacy). I told mommie I would contact a lawyer to which she replied that she knew he tricked her not once, but two times to become POA. She did not want to sign anything. I called the attorney, but as soon as I connected her to the NC lawyer, the eldest grandchild (Natalia) heard and then the abusive son literally yelled at her to hang up and mom said, "But, I have a right to talk to my youngest daughter, and a right to speak to lawyers." The phone angrily slammed down, but I don't think it was my mom who ended the call.
After that, I was blessed to hear weeks later from mommie who was talking to me citing how she would always call me and they will not continue to "control her" and how she is still in charge. Not kids, not Dale or Natalia. She said, "I will call you, and I love you," but that was the final conversation a year and a 1/2 ago. Sadly, my mother has not called me.
Even as a Law Student and Trained advocate, I am stuck on what I can feasibly do next?
Things I have tried:
Pennsylvania Bucks County for the elderly, abuse, etc. As they have failed mommie, several times since that call by neglecting their own duties. They did not go see mommie or follow up with me. They just said she is fine each time. Never protected her at all. Short of a lawsuit, what can I do? I know about Guardianship and that it can be costly. I want to also challenge abusive estranged eldest brother (who just entered his 60s) for P.O.A. What else can I do? I send my beautiful mom flowers each week/month. Her favorite color, purple. She would never not call me like this unless she was being emotionally abused/emotionally isolated. The cops visited her two times and there was no answer. The final time (3 weeks ago) mom factually said, on exhibit 1 (police dept. report) to tell my daughter I want to speak to her and I shall call her at 4 this afternoon because they take my phone! Second police visit to her granddaughter's house in PA she told the cops to tell me, "I do not ever want to speak to her again."
Clearly the granddaughter is controlling mom to say that or similar things such as, “Well, not right now." Again it's clear mom is being emotionally isolated. What else can I do (legally)? A suit? Thank you.
What I believe I do understand is that currently your mother lives with your brother to whom has given POA?
Your mother asked you do call an attorney and you did so. The attorney called your mother but another woman spoke angrily and hung up the phone.
(what did the attorney who called suggest to you after her failed call?)
You then called APS, twice. Which you say, if I understand you correctly, has investigated and told you that everything is fine.
That is about the limit, unfortunately of what you can do.
Your mother seems to have good phone access.
I believe that the next time she calls you, she should be advised to all 911 and speak to the police, directly, telling them that she is being held unlawfully by her son.
These family situations that come to two siblings fighting over a parent can become very dangerous.
Best of luck to you, and in your studies.
Higher level supervisor said in Dec 2923:
Heather,
Some one “ this time” shall reach you.”
No o e went to see your mom.”
Moreover, I called More than 2x.
I called APS, more than 1/2 of dozen times for 18 months.
Each time they lied,
since evidence of abuse, clearly on audio , yet failed to procure it, from me, at my advocacy biz.” My mother is being clearly isolated from others ergo, emotional abuse.”
A mother who imploring for help, per “ call a lawyer for her to remove abuser from POA, a mother who has phones kept from her, is hence, Emotional Isolation & abuse.
A mother, late 80’s, whose not being abused, would go 18 months “ (after saying on audio) Call the lawyers”, because I do not trust your brother at all.”
Then, Mommie tells a cop from her “ Grand child house in PA “ tell my child i love her & calling at 4, but never did.” Receiving flowers, each week.”
We are are closer than anyone in the entire family.”
Pretty clear granddaughter & abusive son are clearly keeping mother isolated.”
No one cares, but I’m not giving up.”Just looking for the right course of action asap.
lawsuit against estranged brother, or file to challenge POS to force him into court,” or her grand daughter.”
Anything else, just ask.
Just clearing it up, for you.”
~Heather0806~
How do you know that your mom is receiving your flowers?
For all you know, they could be telling your mom that they are buying her the flowers.
As you are somewhat "connected" though your studies, or through where you work in advocacy, is there a way to question attorneys or professors as to what steps might be?
Could you see an elder law attorney for options on next moves forward?
We have seen several posts on AgingCare that someone has contacted APS for certain situations. I don’t think I have ever seen one where a situation was resolved by APS.
The posts are usually very confusing and complicated such as yours. So, please don’t be offended by others questions. People are asking questions so they can answer your question properly.
You wouldn’t believe some of the posts that we read.
People probably don’t remember because it was a while ago but there was another post where abuse was suspected and the poster asked me to crash the funeral of the person who they thought had been murdered!
I told her that in no way was I going to crash a funeral even though I adore Ruth Gordon in the dark and hilarious comedy, Harold and Maude. Maude was a funeral crasher! LOL 😆
The funny thing is that I have family members buried in the same cemetery and mausoleum as the supposedly murdered victim.
At first I thought it was a sick joke but she knew too much about the area for her to be guessing.