Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
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I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
You can talk to siblings and see if they are willing to help. If yes, that's great. If they are busy with their own life, you need to find other options, like a professional caregiver.
It is never ending, isn’t it? Caregiving is emotionally and physically exhausting.
Many of us have been through it or going through it.
I wouldn’t count on your siblings to help. I would start considering other options.
I am glad that you recognize your limitations. That is half the battle won. So many of us have felt that it was our responsibility and pushed ourselves to the point of complete burnout!
Don’t go there. Don’t burn yourself out. That isn’t good for anyone.
I hope you find viable solutions soon. Best wishes to you and your dad.
If you really can't continue, stop. But if you want to continue, widen your care team.
Ask family, sure, but don't wait passively. Be proactive & arrange what YOU & DAD both need now.
Have you had a needs assessment done? Do you know if Dad qualifies for any services or what is available in your area? eg adult day care, home health aides.
A wise midwife told me a village was required to raise a child & I think it's the same for elders! She said if not enough aunties (too far away, busy working etc) to use 'paid aunties' at day care instead. So I did & I always found the 'paid aunties' happy to work their shift too. (Unlike the multitude of problems I have seen & read with having siblings do their shift... potential for resentment, excuses, squabbling, shirking, denial or lack of interest found when the carer doesn't want to be a carer).
If your siblings haven't stepped in 9 years, they're not going to step up now. If they had wanted to be helpful in any way, they would have been so long before now. You must now do what is not only best for your dad and his safety, but what is best for you and your physical and mental health. You've paid your dues, and perhaps it's now time to look into placing him in the appropriate facility, where he will receive the 24/7 care he needs, by trained professionals, and you can get back to just being his daughter. Please take care of yourself, as you know your dad would not want you or your health jeopardized because of him. Wishing you the best.
Knowing that, and believing that it was fine to make other decisions, made the difference of me going completely under or not.
My sibling was not involved. If I HAD gone under, responsibility would have moved to my daughters. And, for me, that was not what was right, in our case, at ALL.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Wish you the beet
Many of us have been through it or going through it.
I wouldn’t count on your siblings to help. I would start considering other options.
I am glad that you recognize your limitations. That is half the battle won. So many of us have felt that it was our responsibility and pushed ourselves to the point of complete burnout!
Don’t go there. Don’t burn yourself out. That isn’t good for anyone.
I hope you find viable solutions soon. Best wishes to you and your dad.
Take care.
Ask family, sure, but don't wait passively. Be proactive & arrange what YOU & DAD both need now.
Have you had a needs assessment done? Do you know if Dad qualifies for any services or what is available in your area? eg adult day care, home health aides.
A wise midwife told me a village was required to raise a child & I think it's the same for elders! She said if not enough aunties (too far away, busy working etc) to use 'paid aunties' at day care instead. So I did & I always found the 'paid aunties' happy to work their shift too. (Unlike the multitude of problems I have seen & read with having siblings do their shift... potential for resentment, excuses, squabbling, shirking, denial or lack of interest found when the carer doesn't want to be a carer).
You must now do what is not only best for your dad and his safety, but what is best for you and your physical and mental health. You've paid your dues, and perhaps it's now time to look into placing him in the appropriate facility, where he will receive the 24/7 care he needs, by trained professionals, and you can get back to just being his daughter. Please take care of yourself, as you know your dad would not want you or your health jeopardized because of him. Wishing you the best.
Knowing that, and believing that it was fine to make other decisions, made the difference of me going completely under or not.
My sibling was not involved. If I HAD gone under, responsibility would have moved to my daughters. And, for me, that was not what was right, in our case, at ALL.