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It is a crime that she can not get it; her attorney was a deadbeat. She is a widow who lost her job 4 years ago. I have been supporting her emotionally and financially since her husband died 11 years ago. I am the only person to support her. She has a terrible temper and is on a lot of medication for pain and chronic illness. Her verbal abuse has me at the point she has to get out of my house, I can't take it anymore. She refuses to help herself and find out what social services are available for her while she waits for disability - IF she ever gets it. I know she has options, but she says she makes calls to the Office of Aging and she says they can't help her. I know help is out there. What is best agency to help her understand income available, Medicaid continuation, etc? She is paralyzed with fear and depression, and I am at my wits end. She refuses to let me be her POA, and she trusts no one.

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I wonder if a needs assessment might be a good next step. (Generally you can arrange these through Office of Aging or Human Services Department.) This will help establish what level of care she needs once she moves out of your house. Subsidized housing with some in-home care? Assisted Living? Something more intense? There is no reason to wait for a disability determination to do this. The disability decision will impact how she pays for what she needs -- it will not change the type of help she needs.

She has to get out of your house. You can't take it anymore. Perfectly understandable. Start looking into the eviction process in your location. Even if she hasn't been paying rent, you can't just tell her to leave; there is a procedure you must follow. Find out what it is, and be prepared to follow it, if she will not leave voluntarily.

You mother can make decisions for herself, such as not contacting social services. But you have power and authority to make your own decisions, such as she can no longer live in your home.
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Does she receive her husband's social security income as surviving spouse?
Someone needs to go with her to the social security office. SS may assign that person
as rep-payee if she is disabled.

How old is she?
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She will be 62 next month
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