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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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I'mI'm hoping someone can help. My 86-year-old father lives alone in a regular apartment designed for senior citizens. He has been slowly declining over the past 10 years. Has had many TIA'S. 3 weeks ago he started talking strangely and 911 was called. On November 1st he was taken to the hospital he is still there as of today November 16th. I am the only living blood relative other than my two adult sons with families of Their Own. None of us live in the same town as he does I am about 20 mi away. He has been aggressive and angry to me specifically for the past 10 years and it's getting worse he did strike me although it was more shoving my arm away a few weeks ago as well but he talks to me with hate in his voice and has held me at arm's length with anything to do with his finances. Coincidentally in 2012 we lost my mother his wife after a 5-year battle with cancer in which he took care of her at home the entire time. They had been high school sweethearts so very difficult. I found him the apartment and it seemed to be working. Then we noticed the mental decline. He's been driving all this time an old junker car-- he has no money except for his Social Security. Fast forward to today. He has been in the hospital 15 days medically he is very healthy but mentally he has vascular dementia. He can't usually hold a normal conversation anymore he has good periods of time but for the most part I have to open his carton of milk and he thinks the cell phone is the TV remote it's definitely not good. But we had a bomb dropped on us, figuratively, he makes too much Social Security to qualify for Medicaid! Social Security is the only asset he has he has nothing else. Bluntly, after a meeting with social worker and doctor they are sending him back home to his apartment. Without Medicaid there is NO memory care facility, and NO nursing home, NOTHING, that will take him. I cannot take him in I have absolutely no room, the grandchildren cannot take him in, and thats it that's the only people. I cannot believe that this happens in the United States but they tell me it's fairly common? I haven't slept in 3 weeks I cannot believe that I have to take this man and put him in the apartment and he's going to try and take care of himself? He is aggressive to me and agitated. I have reached out to just about every organization I can and he doesn't qualify for VA assistance as far as I have checked he was in the Army but never in combat. I have an association that tells me he's not been completely denied from Medicaid but the social workers are telling me he has. We have been abandoned. They told me that he could not be released from the hospital if he did not have a safe place to go. Believe me if we could take him in we would. I am absolutely sick knowing that this is going to happen on Monday they've given us hardly any time. The doctor coldly said "the hospital is not a glorified nursing home you know." That was his parting words. I work but I haven't been able to so my job is in desperation, but the hardest thing is my father's hatred of me and yet I am his medical POA and the only person that lives even remotely close. How can I drop him off in that apartment and go home and try and sleep at night? How can I be told that he will never qualify for Medicaid? We would love for his Social Security to just disappear but I'm told that they can't reduce it anybody have any advice for me? I am sitting here in the tears that I shed every single day and I am dreading Monday. Coincidentally, he had been driving right up until the day he went in the hospital and that was most important to him in the world. They've now taken his license of course that will mean nothing to him he would drive anyways but we did take his junker car and get rid of that and he is going to absolutely go crazy when he finds out the car is gone and it seems like I'm the one that's going to have to tell him. How do I do
You say " He will be unsafe if he is discharged" and I cannot take him as there is no one to care for him.
You say it over and over again, refuse to take him and he will be made a ward of the state and they will find a place for him using his funds for his placement, the state will pick up the shortfall.
The social worker and hospital's goal is to release him although he will be unsafe, you have to keep saying NO.
That is IMO the only solution, he will vacate his apartment at the same time.
1. There is no way that any hospital can do such an unsafe discharge. They must have care in place for someone diagnosed with dementia. THEY want YOU to BE that care; don't do it. When Social Workers say they are going home tell them. A) "Dad is diagnosed as incompetent and unable to care for himself". B) "I will not be assisting or caring for dad in any way." C) "This constitutes an "UNSAFE DISCHARGE" (those EXACT words) , and I will report Dad's discharge IMMEDIATELY TO THE APS and the POLICE and the JCAHO. I will report this hospital to APS. I will ask for state guardianship and placement for my father." D) "I will then report this hospital to the Joint Commission on Accreditation which is responsible for your license. The JCAHO will be in here like the FBI on steroids. Prepare to lose your license to operate for Medicare patients."
That alone will take care of the social workers. They will say to one another "Oh, oh, this guy is informed, and he's not taking his dad off our hands; time to do our jobs".
Now onto this nonsense about no assets but SS too high for a demented person to be in nursing home care. I don't think there is ANY monthly SS that high. Your father needs placement. What EXACTLY is the limit in your state for Medicaid. What EXACTLY does your father receive in SS per month? THAT doesn't make sense on the face of it.
Were I you I would not become POA or Guardian and I would not handle this. I would tell the social workers that your father is not competent anymore in his own behalf and you WILL NOT take on any responsibility for him, cannot handle him due to (make it up, physical or mental or a combo works). Tell them that he requires state guardianship. NOW If after all of THAT they do discharge your father home, then up to you to report him to APS, police, to call ambulances over and over again, and etc. Be on them so much they think you are family.
The other option? They send Dad home and he dies there. He is 86. Is another two weeks, two months, two years in the nursing home preferable?
All you can do at this point is try to 1. Stop discharge home in an unsafe manner 2. Call APS over and over and over reporting senior discharged unsafely at home and in grave danger. 3. Call ambulances.
Trust me, once they realize they CANNOT MANIPILATE YOU into collecting your father and taking him to YOUR HOME (which is what they want and ALL they want to get him off their own dance cards) they will function to do their jobs. They will get him placed. If you give over any rights to manage his care then THEY WILL DO IT ALL. Just remember you will have ZERO say in how he is placed, where he is placed; his home will be locked and they will eliminate it and car and anything else he has in terms of assets, and they will place him as near you as they are able in the circumstances. But again, you will have nothing to say in any of this.
I would talk to a medicaid caseworker. If Dad is over the income cap, your State may allow for Miller Trust/Qualifying Income trust. The extra money goes into this trust. You need a Elder Lawyer to set it up.
You claim "unsafe discharge" to the SW. There is no one to care for Dad and he has no money to hire someone. Even if Dad could get VA assistance it may take a while to get into one of their homes. You need one now.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
You say it over and over again, refuse to take him and he will be made a ward of the state and they will find a place for him using his funds for his placement, the state will pick up the shortfall.
The social worker and hospital's goal is to release him although he will be unsafe, you have to keep saying NO.
That is IMO the only solution, he will vacate his apartment at the same time.
They must have care in place for someone diagnosed with dementia.
THEY want YOU to BE that care; don't do it.
When Social Workers say they are going home tell them.
A) "Dad is diagnosed as incompetent and unable to care for himself".
B) "I will not be assisting or caring for dad in any way."
C) "This constitutes an "UNSAFE DISCHARGE" (those EXACT words) , and I will report Dad's discharge IMMEDIATELY TO THE APS and the POLICE and the JCAHO.
I will report this hospital to APS. I will ask for state guardianship and placement for my father."
D) "I will then report this hospital to the Joint Commission on Accreditation which is responsible for your license. The JCAHO will be in here like the FBI on steroids. Prepare to lose your license to operate for Medicare patients."
That alone will take care of the social workers. They will say to one another "Oh, oh, this guy is informed, and he's not taking his dad off our hands; time to do our jobs".
Now onto this nonsense about no assets but SS too high for a demented person to be in nursing home care. I don't think there is ANY monthly SS that high. Your father needs placement. What EXACTLY is the limit in your state for Medicaid. What EXACTLY does your father receive in SS per month? THAT doesn't make sense on the face of it.
Were I you I would not become POA or Guardian and I would not handle this.
I would tell the social workers that your father is not competent anymore in his own behalf and you WILL NOT take on any responsibility for him, cannot handle him due to (make it up, physical or mental or a combo works). Tell them that he requires state guardianship.
NOW
If after all of THAT they do discharge your father home, then up to you to report him to APS, police, to call ambulances over and over again, and etc. Be on them so much they think you are family.
The other option? They send Dad home and he dies there. He is 86. Is another two weeks, two months, two years in the nursing home preferable?
All you can do at this point is try to
1. Stop discharge home in an unsafe manner
2. Call APS over and over and over reporting senior discharged unsafely at home and in grave danger.
3. Call ambulances.
Trust me, once they realize they CANNOT MANIPILATE YOU into collecting your father and taking him to YOUR HOME (which is what they want and ALL they want to get him off their own dance cards) they will function to do their jobs. They will get him placed. If you give over any rights to manage his care then THEY WILL DO IT ALL. Just remember you will have ZERO say in how he is placed, where he is placed; his home will be locked and they will eliminate it and car and anything else he has in terms of assets, and they will place him as near you as they are able in the circumstances. But again, you will have nothing to say in any of this.
You claim "unsafe discharge" to the SW. There is no one to care for Dad and he has no money to hire someone. Even if Dad could get VA assistance it may take a while to get into one of their homes. You need one now.