HELP!! What is my next step to deal with bizarre behavior that came on suddenly?
I don't quite know what to do. My 88 year old Mom has been progressing along fairly reasonably with dementia, and I would guess is at mid/late stage. A couple of things happened recently....she lost her balance and fell in the middle of the night about four nights ago, and cut a big gash on her hand. (We still don't how it happened or what she could've cut her hand on, as there is nothing pointed or sharp in her suite of rooms within our home. So that's a bit of a mystery. A trip to Urgent Care resulted in a swath of bandages which she repeatedly removed, exposing the cut, and making it bleed again. It is a huge frustrating ordeal to keep it bandaged, and it appears it's a losing battle. Also several days ago a UA revealed she had a UTI, which was treated w/ a three day dose of antibiotics, just ending two days ago. NOW, the scariest thing, last night I tucked her in to bed at her usual time of 8:30PM. She always sleeps all the way through the night, getting up around 5AM, but is quiet and waits for us to get up. Last night she surprised us by getting up at 10PM talking about a little boy being in her house. We ushered her back to bed assuring her all was well. We went to bed at 11AM. At midnight I was awakened by Mom, calling me, and all agitated about a "couple" being in her bed. She was practically speaking gibberish. I half asleep took her back to her place, and pulled down all the covers in her bed...light on....showing her that no one was there. Even as I showed her, she insisted that there was indeed a couple in her bed, and she would NOT get in the bed with them!! So, she instead went on the couch in her living room, and told me she'd sleep there! Well, she NEVER slept at all, and neither did I, as every half hour she came calling me about groups of people gathering in her place and talking and keeping her awake. She was speaking nonsense. All of her words were scrambled and jumbled. I'd get her back to a comfort level, go back to my bedroom, and then it started all over again. Finally at 6AM I just got up and stayed up, trying to get things back to our usual schedule...opening up all the window coverings, making her pot of tea, toast, and cereal. I thought she would settle down into her normal behavior, but it's not happening. She's wandering around, talking to herself, seeing people that aren't there, and seems very unsettled as though she's looking for someone who needs her, and has escaped. She is exhibiting totally crazy behavior. We have no geriatric psychologist in the town where we live. Her Dr. is a family physician, who does a lot of work with elders but I just wondered if any of you have some suggestions before I see him, so I have a little ammunition or possibilities to bring up to him as I intend to try to get in ASAP. This is really scary to me. And my husband wants to put her in a facility!! That would totally push her over the cliff. Thanks for any help with this!! (We're having an entire houseful of Thanksgiving overnight guests for a week starting this Sat!! HELP!)
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2. The gibberish could be confusion caused by the u.t.i., or it could be stroke. The words being scrambled is called 'aphasia' or 'paraphasia' - does she think she's making perfect sense and can she not understand why you can't understand her?
3. Both of the above.
She needs to be seen URGENTLY. I'd say you suspect stroke if you want the medics there pronto pronto - you'd be justified, even if this turns out to be incorrect. Get on the phone NOW.
Another possibility is that she has entered a new phase in her dementia. If that is the case, I hope her doctor can find something that calms her so both of you can get some sleep.
About the bandages -- my mother tore a cut in her arm about 3 months ago. I could never figure out what she cut it on. She said it was the toilet frame, but there were no shape edges there -- all smooth. I thought it might be that she hit it hard enough that it tore her skin. Our elder's skin can be so thin that it is so easy to damage. I took her to Urgent Care, too. She spent the next 2-3 weeks obsessing on the bandages, taking them on and off. She was only supposed to wear one for a couple of days, but had a hard time giving them up. I still find bandage pieces scattered over the house.
Can you get her to drink plenty? Water, tea, squash? If she got dehydrated during the previous u.t.i. and hasn't got over it, that won't be helping her brain function either.
Braida, is it vascular dementia your mother's been diagnosed with? Is she already taking meds for it? The common one over here is Clopidogrel for preventing further ischaemic attacks (often called Cloppy Dog for ease of reference and mood-lightening purposes, I assume; I actually find that flippancy slightly grating in the circumstances but it makes the name easier to remember); but in acute crises where they suspect there has been a clot they add in 75mg of enteric-coated aspirin a day for a limited period. I would not dream of suggesting you give aspirin except on medical advice - if she has had a stroke and it's a bleed, not a clot, you could kill her - and Clopidogrel is prescription only, so you'd need to get it from the doctor anyway.
Don't get fobbed off. It may be too late for clot-busting drugs but that's no excuse for her doctors to leave a lady suffering acute confusion untreated, dementia or no dementia. You don't have to turn into the original Dragon Lady, but don't leave the surgery or hospital until you're satisfied that they've paid proper attention and done everything appropriate.
Hideous timing for you. Ideally you'd keep your mother quiet and just soothe her, but as it is you're between a rock and a hard place. Major holidays are a lousy time for anyone to be admitted to any sort of institution because staffing is always a problem and they're busier than ever; but what are you supposed to do with your guests if your mother's ill at home? Well, they will just have to rally round, that's all - delegate for all you're worth. If they're nice enough for you to have invited them, they should also be happy to help out.
And appeal to your husband's humanity: what you need from him right now is sympathy and support, not threats to have your mother taken away. He may have a point in principle, but discussions about going forward can wait until you're all settled down again. Your poor mother - but why oh why can they never pick a quiet patch to have a crisis in?! Best of luck, hope it all turns out well x
Big hugs, hope you get answers very quickly. x
Your mother needs to be seen urgently.