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My husband has Parkinson's with beginning onset of dementia. We have day care, but I need a night sitter (6 hours for 1 to 2 nights) so that I can sleep. Person can nap/sleep as long as she wakes up and watches him to go to and from bathroom safe. I live in Ventura County California, I work 11 hours a day, very demanding job and sleep is essential for me in order to survive. How much are the costs of such a sitter? Where could I find one?


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Contact Visiting Angels if they have an office up there. They're a good agency, and my aunt in Redlands had good luck with them.

You can also look up "caregivers" on Yelp.com to find ones near you with reviews, too. There are lots of them for the Ventura/Oxnard area.
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TouchMatters Dec 2022
Caregivers / agencies are listed in the 'yellow pages' (if there is such a thing anymore). These are businesses. Easy to find by looking them up "caregivers, elder care agencies.'

If wanting independent caregivers:
- churches (bulletin boards)
- Facebook or other computer media
- Some stores like Whole Foods used to (and still might) have bulletin boards
- (some) Libraries have bulletin boards
- Colleges: Contact (1) employment dept; and (2) contact dept heads of nursing dept., social work, geriatrics. Students need hours although being awake and available during the nights may be difficult.
- Associations may have leads or refer a person to networks / support groups.

IMPORTANT: If hiring directly
* Require a criminal check (fingerprinting).

I had to do this twice (as a massage therapist and to be vetted at a retirement home to work independently with their residents). It is 'interesting' to find out who won't go through a criminal check - it is another way to weed people out.

* Do ask for references (work and personal) and call / check.
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Contact home care organizations for help. The Area Agency on Aging would be able to provide you with information on resources in your area.
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Thank you very much.
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Try also Nextdoor.com, join for your area and post a question there. You may find somebody looking for a job, or somebody who knows some resources.

People used to find this kind of help through churches, too. A priest or minister might know somebody in the congregation who would like to do this.
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aherscovici, we had a night caregiver for my Dad via a caregiving agency. The Agency had a list of caregivers that would only work the 3rd shift as they were required to stay awake throughout the whole shift. Thus, those caregivers had their scheduled sleep during the day. The Agency charged $30/hour but that was a few years ago.

Not everyone is a light sleeper that can hear someone moving about that would need help. And if a caregiver is a heavy sleeper, being awaken can throw one's thinking off until they are fully awake.
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TouchMatters Dec 2022
One can get 'bells' or something to put on a bed to alert to sounds / movement - or person is / trying / getting up. This could help.

Also depends on logistics - how far the caregiver is from the person needing care?

You are correct. If hired through an agency, caregiver is expected to be awake during their working hours - although some may nap if the situation allows.
SOME agencies try to pay caregiver less saying the caregiver 'sleeps' through the night. I say "No, a caregiver is paid to be available in a second's notice - awake and alert - to do whatever is needed. It is a huge responsibility.
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Good Morning,

I know of a situation where the family hired nursing students. Perhaps, you could look for a male nursing student. Some even give them room and board for a certain amount of "work" hours per week.

Sometimes you get the right match and it is a win-win situation for everyone.

I hope this was of some help to you...
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TouchMatters Dec 2022
This is part of my response above, repeated here:
I researched extensively 'live in' caregivers. They are considered employees and many potential problems, i.e., they do not work out and they won't leave/move out when asked (a sheriff needs to be called); they could sue (saying they fell down or injured themselves somehow).

It is a huge responsibility being an employer; a person considering a live-in caregiver needs to do a lot of research and perhaps hire an attorney. Little - although not so little - concerns such as breaks and time off are very specific under the law. 

Yes: a cot or a bed is usually offered-this doesn't mean it is 'room and board,' which is a live-in. Many care providers for overnight are asked to rest / sleep in a chair / recliner. When working during the night, the caregiver is expected to be available as needed, even if getting some sleep some of the time.
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There are great suggestions here. I paid my husband’s aides $20 an hour whether hired privately Over three years, I used NextDoor app, a local medical student, agencies, and a friend from church. Day caregiving was good but the overnight shift was rough, with no shows and low quality of caregivers. My husband declined to where he wouldn’t allow me to sleep at all and dementia and falling issues accelerated. Also, my health and patience started to decline. Like you, I have a very demanding job. It was time to move him to an AL/MC residence. While heartbreaking, the move was good for him (socialization, 24/7 health/safety care, good diet, and proper dementia programming) and for me. I send you and others every good wish and please take care of yourselves...our loved ones need us.
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The Agingcare website itself is a place to look for more help. Click on the three bars of the top left corner for sources.
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Help me out here. Does your father not sleep at night ever? What is it exactly you are doing for him all night? My wife has dementia an can not walk and I have been offered 24hr care for her but I do not see the point paying someone to be here while we sleep. She does not sleep all night but does not need help laying in bed. I’m just trying to understand what full time 24hr care will actually do.
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SusanDon Dec 2022
Hi. My husband did not sleep through the night and called out frequently for help with just about everything—sometimes legitimate needs and sometimes absurd. He needed the same level of care 24/7. I didn’t want to use strong sleeping medications because of the risk for falls. Dementia leads many of us down a very rocky road. Blessings to you and your wife.
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I AM A CARETAKER IN MASSACHUSETTS....AND A GOOD ONE. YOU SHOULD GET HELP THRU YOUR INSURANCE [CALL THEM]....OR YOU SHOULD CALL YOUR SENIOR CARE OFFICE AND THEY WILL ADVISE YOU. YOU WILL EITHER WAY FIND OUT ABOUT ANY COSTS.
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TouchMatters Dec 2022
What insurance are you talking about?
[As far as I know] People need to pay IN ADVANCE to have PRIVATE insurance that pays for caregivers. Most people do not have this. It is very expensive.

What is a 'senior care office' ? Please be more specific.
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aherscovici: Perhaps you should contact your locality's Council on Aging.
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Ask the caregiver if they know someone. I need to have 24/7 care for my sister who lives in her home in a different community than I live . I tried doing a lot of it myself and burned out. Even with caregivers doing the hands on work, there is still a tremendous amount of work involved with scheduling caregivers, medical issues, paying caregivers, etc. I found the networking system was very good to find additional good caregivers. In addition the community had an Independent Living organization that helped track independent caregivers and gave me a list or would call when someone might be available. Many days I would be on the phone calling. Care coordinators in large medical practices or hospitals may also provide service. I have a total of 8 independent caregivers which I schedule. Some like to work nights, some days, some only 3-4 hrs in a day. It is too hard to be with someone with dementia for 12 hours. Fortunately my sister is easy to work with but limited mobility. I have two spreadsheets--one for scheduling and one for paying. But hope to transition to QuickBooks for paying caregivers and tracking income & expense. I won't go into all the other issues with finding a MC or nursing home, or paying for all either at home or in a facility. All research very time consuming. Don't beat yourself up! Make sure you take care of yourself--I was told that over and over, but it is very very hard to do.
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I’m in SoCal and was paying an agency $32/hour for my beginner stage dementia mom. Agencies have all the required workmen’s comp insurance and background checks etc. it’s a flat rate and sometimes depends on the stage of the patient. Ventura might be a bit pricier than LA. There’s private caregivers, but CA deems them employees, so there’s tax consequences and workman’s comp requirements. I found a great caregiver for less than the agency and she’s doing great. She’s working during the day. You can try agencies like Comfort Keepers, Visiting Angels, or Cambrian. Look online for some besides these common names which I am not endorsing, just mentioning. You can also go to a local University that might have a nursing program requiring internship hours (UCLA?). Get creative, but be safe. Don’t just let anyone into your home. I suggest getting cameras too.
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TouchMatters Dec 2022
I believe your statement is not correct.
Caregivers are not employees 'unless' they live on the premises.
A shift is not living on the premises (anymore than a day shift caregiver).
Where did you get your information? Please provide as this is important for everyone needing to hire night care providers.
P.S. I researched extensively 'live in' caregivers. They are considered employees and many potential problems, i.e., they do not work out and they won't leave/move out when asked; they could sue. It is a huge responsibility being an employer; a person considering a live-in caregiver needs to do a lot of research and perhaps hire an attorney. Little - although not so little - concerns such as breaks and time off are very specific.
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I'm paying $25 - $31 per night (some have been with us a long time)

I suspect in California you may need to pay a bit more.

I allow mine to sleep/nap on the job.
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TouchMatters Dec 2022
Per hour or per night?
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The most important thing is to work out what you want. Someone awake, alert and watching all night? Someone who can sleep but set an alarm to make sure that they wake to give medications at 4 hourly intervals? Someone who will wake if the LO calls, and go to respond – like you do, and that is why you want help to sleep undisturbed? Someone who will sleep but respond to an alarm button that the LO has in bed (and will use reasonably)? The rates of pay should vary a lot, depending on your expectations.

Once you know your needs, and before you hire, check what your carer is doing in the day-time and whether they need an undisturbed night’s sleep. Then monitor how things go the first few nights. Check if your carer is using the night shift as an alternative to rental somewhere else, and if so (and it may be really economic and also fit your needs), sort out a sensible arrangement for showering, laundry, food etc.

People’s expectations vary a lot. So does the cost!
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To maybe are some confusion to the question of employee or not, the IRS uses the Common Law test to make the determination.

The Common Law Test is a guide used by the IRS to determine if a worker should be classified as an employee or an independent contractor. The standard Common Law test indicates a worker is likely an employee if the employer has control over what work is to be done and how to get it done.

https://www.irs.gov/taxtopics/tc762

If a caregiver does not live-in does not, necessarily, mean they are not an employee.
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Hire privately for a night sitter. A caregiving website like care.com is the best place to find one.
The pay would be privately negotiated with the sitter. It would depend on what the needs are. If you expect this person to be alert and ready whenever your father gets up, you should expect to pay more than you would for a sleep duty aide whose job is to simply ne in the house at night.
Expect to pay at least minimum wage if you're hiring one privately. If you deal with a care agency it will be a lot more.
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