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I cannot count how many family members she gets mad at and it has gone on. My mother is 87 and we believe she has alzheimers. Her mother and sister both had it and died with complications. My mother seems to get mad all the time. If anybody leaves, she says she doesn't want to go and she is mad when we get back. She got mad because she thinks my niece got mad at her but that didn't happen. It seems like she is mad about everything.

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Because one in three women over 85 do have Alzheimer's it's probably pretty easy to blame AD for most problems. However, also know that a UTI infection can cause her problems , so can constipation. Maybe it's time for a check up. Does she sleep well? Have a good appetite? Have diabetes or high blood pressure? At her age there could be any number of problems plus some people are just angry by nature. Is this a new behavior? Was her mother and sister like this? Does she get out for fresh air and to walk a little? Get her checked out soon. She might improve with an antidepressant or she may have another health issue. Give her a hug and if she can handle it healthwise bring her a treat next time you go out without her. My mom liked a hamburger with mustard and tomatoes only and a root beer please. She also liked a visit from one of her handsome grandsons.
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Ya know, if I were losing my mind, I'd be really pissed! I mean it. Even the normal indignities of aging make me angry sometimes. I'm still in my "right mind" so this anger does not persist and seldom is seen by others, but it is a complete mystery to me how the people I've know with dementia retain any semblance of pleasant personalities.

Your mom has seen her mother and her sister go through terrible things with dementia, and now, on some level, she suspects that is in store for her, too. Wouldn't you be mad? And frightened? Mad might be easier for her to handle.

I hope you can provide comfort and reassurance. "Niece loves you very much. You know she hasn't always been real good in expressing her feelings. I'm sorry she came across to you as mad, but I don't think she really was. She asked about you on the phone this morning. She cares about you." I'm not sure you can talk her out of being mad, but let her know you accept her and love her as she is, and you intend to be around and help her.

As 97yroldmom points out, there may be some medical help for her.
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Have you considered having your mom tested for Alzheimer's? If you have her tested and she has Alzheimer's then you won't be left wondering if her personality changes are natural, a result of feeling ill or having an infection, or due to the disease.
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