How do I obtain a health care proxy, and utilize existing advocates and services to my parent's advantage?
I'm new to caregiving and I've started reading "How to care for aging parents" too late, because a series of surmountable crises have come up - but neither my father or I were fully planned/prepared. After a stroke (mostly mild and recovered from, but activity and speech are diminished) and most recently a stumble-related fall resulting in hurt arm possibly broken hand and broken foot - I am having difficulties communicating with multiple doctors and meeting all of his needs - prior to surgery, am concerned about after care. Does anyone have recommendations for getting referrals for healthcare case workers to help navigate this situation? Difficult getting direction from primary care physician.
Also my Dad doesn't want to really discuss giving me power of attorney, has anyone used/set up or obtained a health care proxy? If so - is ther a best way to do it/pros/cons?
My mom has aphasia from a stroke, and also developed vascular dementia. She has been very much helped by seeing a series of geriatric psychiatrist who have prescribed antianxiety and antidepressant meds which have made her fear and agitation less pronounced.
I have had a list of things to address and have been tying names/directions/phone numbers to them - an attempt at a game plan - for now if not long term.
Getting my dad on board is going to be a process. He is competent but has speech issues. He passed all of his ST benchmarks so insurance will not cover additional therapy. His biggest issue is aching joints (severe pain that exhausts him), occasional stroke fatigue, and a very stubborn streak to keep things the way he likes them even if it doesn't serve him or his health. I am starting a process I should have a decade ago. But lists and what I'll call one step toward progress - have buoyed me for this week. I can see that This forum will be an asset for me in the time to come.
It helps a little too, venting. Hang in there! Keep on and know it'll get easier with time and a little hollering. Don't be shy. "Give em' h3ll!" dont give up and know you aren't alone.
Have you ever looked into in-home healthcare for him? This may actually be a very good option. A friend of mine had in-home healthcare which seems to be much cheaper than being in a facility.
If you don't have the means to pay for it privately, your Area Agency on Aging may offer these services. Additionally, there may be other community service organizations that offer the care management or case management for older adults. For example, here in the Kansas City region, Jewish Family Services offers case management for free or reduced cost. (You don't have to be Jewish to use their services.) Dad's insurance company may also have case managers available - it couldn't hurt to ask and do a little research.
If none of these work out for your area, search for a "nurse case manager" or a "case manager." Usually case managers are social workers or nurses. Some home health agencies might have one on staff, too.
It's very proactive of you to be asking for help! Your father is lucky to have you!
Is it that...
the PCP doesn't know the answers
the PCP declines to answer your questions
the PCP is maintaining confidentiality in the absence of alternative instructions from his patient
the PCP is maintaining confidentiality on the specific instructions of his patient..?
I suppose what I want to know is - as far as you can tell, does your father want you to act as his advocate or not? You could perhaps do worse than put that question to him verbatim.
What part of " this is an emergency" does he not get?
"Dad, you've had a stroke. The next one might leave you unable to communicate your wishes. Let's make an appointment with this eldercare attorney, otherwise, the state is going to decide how you get cared for".
Sorry i haven't answered your question. I wouldn't do caregiving for an elder who doesn't trust me; it's a recipe for disaster. Suggest the lawyer as poa.
You can google "geriatric care managers".