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The eldest of 4 children has decided to haul off and start investing Mom's money and paying himself salary as a "caregiver" when he is nothing of the kind. More like a chauffeur that makes Mom lunch. Mom has severe Alzheimer's dementia, and he just up and leaves here by herself all the time. I am concerned at so many levels, but mostly terrified that she will fall or just walk out the door, both of which she has already done. How can I get county health to step in, and how can I stop him from squandering all my Mom's money when we are aging to need it to take care of her?


I need help...please !

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Someone just posted on another site ‘If someone calls you a purple duck, it doesn’t mean that you are’. If brother calls himself her caregiver, it means absolutely nothing unless he has a POA or some other authority to take charge of her and her money. I think that the first step is to get the siblings together and make a joint decision about who should do what. And this needs to be with mother as well, at least if she is competent to understand anything about it – not necessarily fully legally competent, just able to put an opinion. She needs a chance to talk in his absence, just in case she is afraid of him for some reason. I would guess that ‘county health’ would ask for that step to come first.
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Does he have legal authority to manage her finances? Start with whether or not he has a valid Power of Attorney, created by your mom before she had any medical diagnosis of cognitive impairment. Or does he have guardianship? If neither then you will need to pursue guardianship for her in the courts. He may fight it and if the judge thinks the infighting is detrimental to your mom's care, the judge may assign a non-family guardian. In the interim you can call APS to report financial abuse and maybe neglect but you will need to have evidence. Perhaps a 1-hr consult with an elder law attorney would be a good investment at this point. Good luck!
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I would call adult protective services and report your sibling ASAP. Your mother should never be left alone. How negligent of your brother.
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What authority does your brother have?

Unless your mom gave him authority before her Alzheimer’s disease to do as he wishes with her money, then he is taking advantage of your mother. I doubt if she ever wanted him to use her money as his own.

Does mom live in his home? Does he live in her home? She shouldn’t ever be left alone if she has severe Alzheimer’s disease.

You will have to report your brother. They will conduct a thorough investigation.

Wishing the best for you and your mom.
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