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Mom can't transfer to his wheel chair and the bathroom. She can take care of all his needs but moving him. What can we do to solve this problem other than send him to a constant care facility.

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There are several simple tools and techniques that reduce the transfer weight by 80% making it easy for a small caregiver to transfer a larger person. These tools are relatively inexpensive. One is a gait belt and the main tool is a lateral transfer plate called mrswivel. These tools are used by many nursing centers and could definately help. You can find it on the internet.
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How about hospice, not only do they provide support, but also many items needed for what you need to do for him at home.....Dept. of ageing is also a good resource Look on the net for places on your area. Megan(smile) Keep your sunny side UP!
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You do not tell us about his mental state. Does he have dementia or does he just have the mobility problem.
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If she really wants him home and I am sure she does, get help from an agency or that care.com site which I use. Call daycares and churches, ask around, you can find help for about $12-$20 an hour and its either to them or a nursing home so why not at home. Also the Aide and Attendent program if he was in the war? In some States they give help free, medicaid, and dont count a house. Best of Luck. I hope you can keep them together.
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Deborah - you need to start making some calls. There is help out there. Some states have payment plans to caretakers, an this money could be spent on an aid to assit your dad in and out of bed. If he is a verteran, he may be eligible for Aid and Attendance benefits through the VA. if he is near end of life, hospice can come in. (Hospice has been a week now with Mom, and its made a wonderful difference). Make some calls - there are options short of nursing home.
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Definitely get help. You need two strong-armed boys to lift and re-position. Help is available through private agencies and some state agencies. I would try the home help route first before considering any Assisted Living or Nursing Home.
If he does fall, however, the number to call is the fireman. They will come to your house without charge, lift him, put hm back in a chair or bed and make him comfortable....no fee.
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Ditto on the fire department. They are awesome.
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