Even with his hearing aids, Dad has learned the art of not giving feedback. Mom has a hard time assembling words but we can read her mind. She is barely ambulatory with her walker so we take her out in a transport wheelchair. Neither one of them take advantage of the activities they have at their establishment. Dad used to take the van to the grocery store but since he has a walker too, it's not very doable; especially, since he can't also bring his grocery cart. What a daughter should do is take them out for a drive once a week but daughter is going to school, taking care of her own elderly husband, and recouping from a hip replacement. Winter is bringing us all down. My brother is around but still working, his car isn't low enough for Mom to get into. My car works the best but there's only room for the two of them, the walker and the wheelchair. No room for brother or husband.
I like the idea of renting a van....accessible with a lift maybe? hmmm. anyhow, I guess I just have guilt about Mom not having a buddy to talk to since Dad doesn't communicate. Tomorrow we will go out for Christmas Eve at a local restaurant, me taking them in my car with their apparatus' trying not to slam my fingers in between. The dinner will be just what the doctor ordered but then I have to schlep them home. I dread the apparatus'. At least my bro and husband can help get them in and out of the car ....looking into a volunteer buddy for my mom. One such service says the buddy would have to be there 4 hours at a time. Mom would not go for that.....I try not to worry whilst sleeping. I love this website as I see others have similar frustrations, so I am not alone.
So I found others to chat to (hello forum 😁) work, study, friends, people in shops etc.
Now if your Mom is having word finding issues that does make it very very hard to socialise & find meaningful connections but she can still join in! Maybe she lacks the physical ability or mental motivation to join groups at the AL.. Maybe they are not quite suitable for her now.
I wonder if she would benefit from a higher level of care? Where aides wheel you to different social groups she CAN participate in?
Can the Manager of the AL advise what social activities are on & arrange? I have seen (with much success) an outside aide employed to take a non-verbal man with Parkinson's around the garden or look at photo books or whoever he seemed interested in that afternoon. He was employed 2 X week. Sometimes he brought him to the singing group or to watch a video but sometimes they just sat quietly in the garden. The man had no idea he was a paid aide. To him he was a wonderful friend.
Just ideas..
Call the ALF and get the AD involved. That's my suggestion. Good luck!