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I have a sick (dementia) 54 year old woman living in my house. In 2021, she stopped talking, does not eat on her own, hardly walks, does not understand anyone .. sleeps poorly at night. sometimes she fights .. one person cannot put her on the toilet, since when taking off her clothes, she does not give in .. she lets go on the floor .. therefore, one person needs to hold her (face to face), and the second person takes off her "clothes" ., also take bath procedures. Also needs to be near her all the time, she suddenly gets up and wants to go, but since she quickly gets dizzy and can fall... Tell me please, how much will it cost to care 24 hour (at home) for such a sick woman?

Have you called 911 or taken her to the ER? If you're not her PoA then you need to report her to APS so she can get appropriate care. She needs to be assigned a legal guardian.

At 54 if she has dementia it is ALZ or wet brain. Take her to the ER and explain she's a renter and that you're not her caregiver and that she's an "unsafe discharge".
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Isthisrealyreal Aug 19, 2024
There you go with your diagnosis again. That is just plain dangerous and NOT what this forum is about.
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We are not an Care agency. Just Caregivers sharing our own experiences on a forum.

This woman needs more help than you seem to be able to give her. If she is not related to you I am wondering why you continue to care for her. Aides are $15 to $20 an hr. Even if related, I personally would not be taking care of this person. Call APS and tell them you cannot care for this woman any longer. Or send her to ER refusing to take her back to your home.
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irimesku Aug 19, 2024
Yes, I understand, this is a forum. I am only interested in one thing: is there anyone on this forum who knows approximately how much it costs per hour to care for a patient like I described earlier..? The patient and I are not related.. her husband just abandoned... the situation is not simple, and at the same time very long.. it would take a long time to tell..but my wife and I don’t want to give her away anywhere... she’ll just die if we leave her..and we feel very sorry for her.
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You are dealing with a 2 person assist, that is skilled nursing level of care required.

That means it is cost prohibitive to try and do this in home.
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A big heart is wonderful.

But a Village of helpers becomes necessary. Villagers that are patient, kind, that add joy, those with the strength to roll people, transfer & use lifting machines, those with the management skill to run all the services & staff.

When you take on a *mission* as a *lone caregiver* it can become lonely real quick. Lonely. Too heavy - physically & emotionally.
You burn out.

Ask yourself WHY you have taken on this *mission*? You & your Wife, right?

I took this from your reply;

"wife and I don’t want to give her away anywhere... she’ll just die if we leave her..and we feel very sorry for her"

Unpack all that.
LOOK at your language you use.
I notice straight off it contains many FEELINGS & assumptions.

"don't want to give her away"
You are SAD, OK. Maybe fearful too.
"she'll just die if we leave her.."
Really? Why do you say this?
Would you leave her alone? Or in a NH/group home/care facility?
"..feel sorry for her".
Sadness again. OK.

Welcome to the forum. You are reaching out for the wider community, looking for others to help, looking for the *Villagers*.

Well done. Keep going. Find them.
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Reply to Beatty
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Cost varies by location. You can see 2023 rates surveyed by Genworth for the US at

https://www.genworth.com/aging-and-you/finances/cost-of-care

Average was $33.00 an hour. If she really needs two people at a time, all the time, there’s no way anyone but the top .1% can afford to pay for it, especially since the early onset means it could go on for decades.

My back of a napkin estimate, is about $15,000,000 for just the caregivers for the rest of her life. (33x2x24x365.25x25) If this kind of money is a real possibility, don’t skimp on good professional legal/medical/financial advice.
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You are going to need to contact home care agencies in your area to get accurate information. It seems she may need more than just basic assistance. I would estimate about $600-$800 a day, but it may be more expensive if she needs more intensive care. Good Luck!
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This is your wife , I'm understanding? Only 54 , oh my I am so deeply sorry.

It will cost a lot. I did some home care, that alone is about 25 dollars an hour , from a company, private might be less. But when I did home care and a client was declining this badly I would call the company and tell them I can't go there anymore, I wasn't about to risk hurting myself for a job. So I think it's going to cost more .

I have no clue on your financial situation but I do believe if your wife was of sound mind she wouldn't want you to risk everything for her well-being.

As a wife with a sound mind, I would tell my husbands to put me in a nursing home, visit me but don't ruin your life, health, and fiance over me

Again I'm so sorry 😞
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Anxietynacy Aug 19, 2024
Oh I'm sorry, was reading more, of your replies, this is not your wife, a family friend, bless your heart ❤️
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At home caregivers will be 200 to 250k a year and a SNF can be 140K. However there is such a thing as Medicaid which will take her in a semi private room. If she is a 2 person assist, no caregivers can help unless you are present.
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As others have mentioned, if she is a 2-person assist, you will not be able to get home health care for her. In addition, while a transition to a facility may initially be traumatic, in a short time she will likely not remember that she has been moved. She will get better health care than you can give her, much as you care for her. Assuming you place her fairly nearby, you can visit her often, and things will be more pleasant for her and for both you and your spouse because you will no longer be involved with physical struggles with her.
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This post is from August and the OP has not returned since her initial question. She just kept replying the same thing. She needed to know exactly what a caregiver is paid in her area of the county. We could not answer that.
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