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Okay, so ask yourself why someone would steal someone else's prescription eyeglasses. They are hidden somewhere. Not stolen. Very common dementia scenario.
My Dad was always losing things in his recliner... items would slip between the arm rests and the seat cushion, eventually falling to the rug next to and behind the recliner.... we even finally found his car keys caught on the springs under the recliner.
As for prescription eyeglasses, those glasses aren't good for anyone else, so I bet they are under a sofa or in-between the cushions.
Oh, my Dad would accidentally throw out things or bump things into the trash, so the Caregivers knew to dig through the wastebaskets before putting the trash into a bin. It was the Caregivers that clue me in that Dad was throwing out current bills.
I also agree that no one has any reason to steal someone else's prescription eyeglasses. Unless the caregiver had identical vision needs, they would be worthless to her. I doubt she could sell them on the street.
I suspect they've been misplaced.
There's a common phenomenon in older homes: little wee folk, faes/feys, fairies, elves or whatever, move things and hide them, causing elders to wonder what happened until suddenly something is discovered under a chair, stuffed in between cushions, or someplace where it never would have likely been put by a younger person.
When something goes missing in my house or my father's, I try to think: what are those fairies and elves up to now and where did they hide the checkbook?!
Craftgal, last week I was on my way to a party at the nh and I intended to take a stack of small calendars for bingo prizes. My daughter said they were on the breakfast counter last she had seen them. I know! I saw them there myself. I looked. She looked. We kept looking. Finally, just as time was running out and I'd have to leave I found them -- in my office. Sigh.
We both knew we'd seen the neat stack on the counter. And we had. It just happened to be two days ago they were there, and they had been moved since then. (There is no dementia in our house right now, either.)
I believe you saw those three pairs of glasses sitting right there. Of course you did. But maybe, possibly, it was yesterday right before the caregiver left. Or last night. Our memories can play tricks on us.
The fact that the glasses would surely not be something risking one's job over makes me think a thorough search should be undertaken before you order replacements.
I am really sorry that you are in this frustrating spot.
My Nana, wh came to live with us when I was about 11, started down the road of Alzheimers /dementia, and she began stealing little things from around the house, kiddie gum machine toys, bottle tops, rings, little things, and started wrapping them up in tissue, rubber bands, string, and then hiding them, in deep plases in her closet, and into luggage, and then the paranoia started in, accusations, arguments, it was awful! She alos cut into many pieces, very old family pictures, now gone forever. Finally one day when her prized 18k gold bracelet went missing, the big search began, finding all sorts of things 30 or more things, mostly junky stuff, and that is when the true diagnosis was confirmed. From that point forward, the steep and steady decline into the unknown, as Alzheimers was still a new and not ofyen used diagnosis, in the 1970's. Anything could be happening, my mentally capable husband loses things every day! Keys, his belt. I found my teapot in the pantry, but I think I did that one!
There's a first time for everything. There's no history of dementia in your family...that you know of. Even if that were the case, it does not mean it isn't happening to your loved one. Unless you have video of the caregiver thieving, you have no proof and no recourse. You can always just ask the caregiver - "hey, did you take my glasses by mistake?" or "Do you know where all my eye glasses are?" You can also ask for another caregiver but if this keeps happening I suggest you scour the house.
Also I ask because my grandma had a caregiver whom my mother suspected of stealing - turned out grandma was hiding stuff. My mother also told me a caregiver for my dad was stealing things - turned out my mom was loosing stuff. Could your situation be like either of these?
Was this a single golden trinket that she could slip in her purse? I'm wondering how she managed this theft, too.
It is, of course, not impossible that a hired caregiver steals. Every other profession in the world has bad guys -- why wouldn't caregiving?
Does your loved one have dementia? Here is a not uncommon scenario in dementia: LO, to self: A lot of my things seem to disappear. People must be sneaking in here and taking my things! I'd better protect my things and hide them. (Places wrist watch in oatmeal box. Places reading glasses way in back of night stand drawer.) Later, LO to daughter: My watch is missing! Someone is coming in here and stealing my things! And they took my favorite reading glasses, too!
This self-fulfilling paranoia cycle is miserable for everyone. The watch may show up a few months later when someone makes oatmeal cookies. The glasses may not show up until the household furniture is sold or given away.
If your loved one does not have paranoia associated with dementia or some other illness, this hiding stuff to protect it and then forgetting it is hidden is less likely to apply in your case. But it is common and is worth considering, and possibly conducting a very thorough search in the house.
Just clarifying - 3 pair of eye glasses were sitting out all together in one spot? What room - living room, bedroom? Who all was in the house during that 30 minute time frame? How long has this person been working for you? Is there anything special about these glasses like designer frames?
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
As for prescription eyeglasses, those glasses aren't good for anyone else, so I bet they are under a sofa or in-between the cushions.
Oh, my Dad would accidentally throw out things or bump things into the trash, so the Caregivers knew to dig through the wastebaskets before putting the trash into a bin. It was the Caregivers that clue me in that Dad was throwing out current bills.
I suspect they've been misplaced.
There's a common phenomenon in older homes: little wee folk, faes/feys, fairies, elves or whatever, move things and hide them, causing elders to wonder what happened until suddenly something is discovered under a chair, stuffed in between cushions, or someplace where it never would have likely been put by a younger person.
When something goes missing in my house or my father's, I try to think: what are those fairies and elves up to now and where did they hide the checkbook?!
We both knew we'd seen the neat stack on the counter. And we had. It just happened to be two days ago they were there, and they had been moved since then. (There is no dementia in our house right now, either.)
I believe you saw those three pairs of glasses sitting right there. Of course you did. But maybe, possibly, it was yesterday right before the caregiver left. Or last night. Our memories can play tricks on us.
The fact that the glasses would surely not be something risking one's job over makes me think a thorough search should be undertaken before you order replacements.
I am really sorry that you are in this frustrating spot.
It is, of course, not impossible that a hired caregiver steals. Every other profession in the world has bad guys -- why wouldn't caregiving?
Does your loved one have dementia? Here is a not uncommon scenario in dementia:
LO, to self: A lot of my things seem to disappear. People must be sneaking in here and taking my things! I'd better protect my things and hide them. (Places wrist watch in oatmeal box. Places reading glasses way in back of night stand drawer.)
Later, LO to daughter: My watch is missing! Someone is coming in here and stealing my things! And they took my favorite reading glasses, too!
This self-fulfilling paranoia cycle is miserable for everyone. The watch may show up a few months later when someone makes oatmeal cookies. The glasses may not show up until the household furniture is sold or given away.
If your loved one does not have paranoia associated with dementia or some other illness, this hiding stuff to protect it and then forgetting it is hidden is less likely to apply in your case. But it is common and is worth considering, and possibly conducting a very thorough search in the house.
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