Her heart and blood pressure are bad. The doctor says she'll probably never walk again. They have her arms tied because she keeps taking the IV needles out. She is miserable. I want her to be made comfortable and just let her go. They can see prolonging her life is futile. This is crazy hard.
Have her doctor sign a MOLST form ASAP
Medical Orders for Life-Sustaining Treatment -
MOLST Form
The MOLST form is a medical order form that tells others the patient's medical orders for life-sustaining treatment. All health care professionals must follow these medical orders as the patient moves from one location to another, unless a physician examines the patients, reviews the orders, and changes them.
MOLST is generally for patients with serious health conditions. Physicians should consider consulting with the patient about completing a MOLST form if the patient
Wants to avoid or receive life-sustaining treatment.
Resides in a long-term care facility or requires long-term care services.
Might die within the next year.
The MOLST form must be completed based on the patient's current medical condition, values, wishes, and these MOLST instructions. Completion of the MOLST begins with a conversation or a series of conversations between the patient, the health care agent or the surrogate, and a qualified, trained health care professional that defines the patient's goals for care, reviews possible treatment options on the entire MOLST form, and ensures shared, informed medical decision-making. The conversation should be documented in the medical record.
Although the conversation(s) about goals and treatment options may be initiated by any qualified and trained health care professional, a licensed physician must always, at a minimum:
Confer with the patient and/or the patient's health care agent or surrogate about the patient's diagnosis, prognosis, goals for care, treatment preferences, and consent by the appropriate decision-maker.
Sign the orders derived from that discussion
If the physician is licensed in a border state, the physician must insert the abbreviation for the state in which he/she is licensed, along with the license number.
The form includes medical orders and patient preferences regarding
Resuscitation instructions when the patient has no pulse and/or is not breathing
CPR order (Attempt CPR) or DNR order (Allow Natural Death)
Orders for other life-sustaining treatment and future hospitalization when the patient has a pulse and the patient is breathing
Treatment guidelines
Intubation and mechanical ventilation
Artificially administered fluids and nutrition
Future hospitalization and transfer
Antibiotics
Other Instructions
My Heart Goes Out To You & Your Mother
You can request hospice for your mom, however a physician's Order is necessary to get it. From what you have indicated - that won't be a problem. A MOLST form is for Massachusetts. The California version is called POLST. It may be called something different in your location. I hope your for your sakes you have a HealthCare Directive and Medical POA (along with others) in place.
The facility where she is eventually placed will have you fill one out. If she goes home on hospice, the hospice provider will walk you through the process and provide 'comfort' medications. Eye drops, (ie) are included in that definition as they do not prolong life, but provide comfort. Keep in touch and best wishes are with you.
I would recommend anyone taking care of a Hospice patient to not think HEALING. There is a time to live and a time to die. At first, I kept thinking, if I care for him properly, maybe I can see him healed and back on his feet alive and well and chasing me around the house again. Sooner than later, I realized that was not going to happen and started the process of taking care of him, THE WAY I SHOULD instead of what I WAS THINKING I SHOULD. They are dying, we must accept it and make their lives comfortable. That is what the drugs are for. The Hospice Box of meds is certainly a Miracle of our day. Loosing them is difficult, and depending upon your belief, you believe you will see them again or not.
Sadly I believe often hospitals will avoid putting a patient in hospice if they think there is more money to be made. Better to have the hospice company doctor do the evaluation.
For us Hospice ended all that horrible pressure to rehab and struggle to get to multitudes of doctor's appointments and deal with physical therapy etc. It has been a huge relief to us.