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My sister will not share my mother's finances. She claims that she alone is the POA of moms finances. She also claims that after mom passes, (her husband and myself are Executors) that she too becomes an Executor. Is this true?
POA's responsibility is over when the person dies. Only the person that is named on the bank account with your mother as co-owner will be able to do anything with the money. BUT your sister can wipe out whatever money she wants BEFORE your mother dies and you have no say in that unfortunately.
POA is done when the person dies. Executor is in charge of estate and finances at the end of the person's life. Your sister is not to bright and is claiming things that she is totally unaware of. Best to speak only when you know what you're speaking about.
Everyone posted above is correct - the POA ends at the time of death and the Executor begins at death. You should have copies of all papers - POA, DPOA, Naming of Executor, Will, Health Care Surrogate, DNR, etc. Yes unfortunately if your sisters name is on your mom's bank accounts as co-owner she can wipe out those accounts any time she pleases - only one signature required for deposits and withdrawals IF that's the way the account reads. It may read differently and I would have copies of that also, since that may mean a huge difference as to what your sister can and can't do regarding finances. If mom is still coherent, speak with her regarding her banking - checking, savings, money markets, etc. and ask her for copies of statements to see how the accounts read. You can always have mom go to the bank with you and request those things if mom wants to discuss it and/or change her options. Being a POA does not allow your sister to do anything she pleases - and especially since you state you are both POA's for mom - you SHOULD have a copy of that document. And NO she can't "just become an executor" as she thinks. Talk to mom and see whats going on - I'm assuming she's coherent because if she isn't than a POA isn't valid - you need to have a durable power of attorney - which falls into place the second the person becomes uncoherent, BUT IT MUST be made, signed, witnessed and notarized while the person is coherent. If you don't already have a DPOA for mom and she is coherent - I suggest getting one immediately.
Read the POA as it can be directed specifically, one for finances, one for other responsibiities, etc. If you Mom is still alive, try to iron these specifics out. Once Mom dies, the POW means nothing. The executor is in charge of finances (of the estate... not personal expenses) and carrying out the will wishes.
POA is only while they are alive. DPOA is different in scope than just a POA. DPOA can do just about anything in the best interest of and behalf of the person. Keep in mind that most POA have a "hold harmless" clause that states that the person who is POA will not be held liable if things go wrong.
Executor/executrix is named in a will starts when they die and you go into probate.
If you are holding a joint POA, you should have a copy of it. If you don't the attorney who drew it up should have a copy of the POA, wills, codicils, etc. in their office, Most attorneys hold the originals on behalf of the client (this makes filing probate, etc. easier). This is standard and included in the fee paid to do the paperwork. Even if it's decades later.
If mom is still cognitive and capable, she can change the POA's. If so, pleaseconsider getting the following done or updated: - a Statutory Durable Power of Attorney (a Financial Power of Attorney) - Medical Power of Attorney - Living Will - Declaration of Guardian in Event of Incapacity - HIPAA Waiver Good luck
what if u were POA for health, but name was taken off without reason or notification,and your brother , POA everything else, had not been truthful or clear when he got mom to take my name off- mom is still alive, but not in this state- is he allowed to remove everything from her apartment and not tell me where or what was done with the contents? and since he already has done that-and refuses to tell me where the things are, does anyone know off hand if i have any chance of finding them? i am in the process of finding an elder lawyer in mass.,ive tried some of the senior services,and havent gotten straight answers--i have a feeling those things are gone- sold- or given away- i am just so mad-no furious- i didnt get a chance to get my things, or even look at moms things-sometimes i think i will just go mad--and other times where i vent,write,paint,scream-and manage to make it to another day- sorry for the rant-i was just having a very hard time- so thanks-and 1 more thing,how does someone-me- get to see this new POA, and any other important papers she has-financial,a will, banking etc??????????????????????brothers name ison moms banking-of course-she was going to put my name on it also- but didnt- im just mad at everyone today! everyone left in my family---k
Right out of the law book: "POA ceases with the death of the donor." Executor or Personal Representative is appointed by the court, and begins responsibility when he/she is sworn in.
It is a very sad commentary on family life in our country. Its always about the money. Someone who is afraid a sibling will get more than they will after the death of the parents. Have we as a society really become that greedy. Take the money and spend as much as needed in providing the best life possible for your mom in her final days. Then let the bickering begin and make the attorneys earn their fees. Have a Great Day.
if Both are POA"s, you may want to read again. Perhaps One of you would become the POA should the other decide not to take the title anymore. I dont believe there can be TWO POA's at the same time. There is usually always someone's name that would become the POA should something happen to change the circumstances. A Durable Power Of Attorney is something you need incase the person becomes unable to make their own decisions. The bank should have someone as Payable Upon Death. There are papers that will need to be signed. I do not believe a Durable Power of Attorrney can overtake the bank account if the person dies, UNLESS that person's name is a Joint Account Holder. FYI: You cannot move a persons Soc. Security Check Deposited into any other account without being an Authorized Representative of her Check. You will need a Doctor to suggest in writing to the Soc. Security that you would be a good candidate, he will send that to the Soc. Sec. administration and the Soc. Sec. Admin. will make an appointment for you. REMEMBER that Soc. Sec. does NOT recognize POA or Durable POA. They will not talk to you. Get the Authorized Representative. Remember, anyone can take Mother into the Bank and have her Okay the Money to be withdrawn,,,,even a stranger,,,,,,but IF you are the Authorized Represenative, no ONE but that person can withdrawal or change accounts. ThisDocument Must be presented to the BANK and the bank will make a note that no one, NOT even mother can handle the account, ONLY the Authorized Representative. Being an Authorized Representative is made because the person is not able to handle their finances. The Authorized Representative will be responsible for all Money Records and reciepts are a must. Once a year a form will be sent asking how much was spent and how much was left. Good Luck.
Yes, you can have two people named on a POA, not advised because of possible conflicts, but you can do this. It is advised to name an "Alternate" POA in case the person named POA decides he/she doesn't or can't perform their duties or just dies. If they die and there is no Alternate, then there is a problem.
My sister went one step further. She obtained legal guardianship and sole conservatorship over our mother a few days after my mother had been given morphine for the pain incurred while falling in my sister's driveway while delivering freshly baked cookies to my sister and her husband. This negated the durable POA that she and I had previously shared. My sister then (while on her way to a month's vacation in Hawaii) had me arrested for kidnapping our mother because I drove her less than a mile from her assisted living place that my sister had had her placed in the day before to take her to her bank. Mother had had no idea that none of her money was available to her since my sister had her sign notarized papers witnessed by my sister's choice of attorney (who had never before met my mother) when our mother was still filled with morphine. I have dropped the idea of challenging my sister, because she is using Mother's money to pay the attorney, court costs, etc., to keep me out of the picture. I call Mother daily and visit as often as possible. Mother had lived in Illinois her entire life (she will be 93 on Monday) until the summer of 2001 when my sister had sold her home and moved her (without my knowledge until the day she was moved so my two adult sons could load the truck) to Iowa where my sister has lived since college. My choice is to allow my sister to have her own way, because I promised my Dad on his deathbed 23 years ago to take care of Mother. Mother is in no position (restricted to a wheel chair from her fall and living in a nursing home) to worry about money or my sister's selfishness. My point is: Your family is your family, regardless. Since money makes my sister happy, or she thinks it does, I prefer to enjoy my life and do the best I can for my Mother, husband, children, grandchildren and friends without wasting time (or money) to pursue monetary goals. Having money to worry about has never been a problem for me, and I will continue to do as I always have for my mother and other family members. Life decisions should not be made by selfishness, but if they are, so be it.
Regarding the need for legal documents, I recently learned about one called something like Designation of Agent for Disposal of Remains. Many funeral homes will insist on separate letters from each next-generation descendant agreeing to the plans on this issue, even if the deceased has specified his/her wishes in a will. Not having a separate document for this point can be a problem, especially when cremation is involved.
dlmpam2010, what a story! I am with you, it just isn't worth all the fuss. many people on this site have such awful issues with siblings and parents, me included. I have decided to just distance myself and if Mom needs me she will let me know. I have been treated like an outsider. Alot of "whose in charge" going on. No more for me. I, unlike you, hardly talked to my Mom. I am tired of it all. She will be well taken care of and that is all that matters at the end of the day. She has alot of money, never spent a penny on anyone except herself, so she is set for AL or NH should she need it. My brother has all the power and, as I see it, all the responsibility.Unless there are millions at stake, I think sometimes alot of people need to just let it go. I am trying to and my life is much better.
Dlmpam: It appears that you and your sister a great siblings! Tell her to get a life, and stop the nonsense. She should know that any lawsuit, frivolous or not, when lost, has to be paid for ( including attorney's fees) by the losing party. A strong letter from your lawyer to her may stop the ridiculous shenanigans that she loves to indulge in.
Power of attorney ends at the principal’s death, so your sister’s power of attorney will end at your mother’s passing. As executor, you will have the responsibility of settling your mother’s estate, but the agent named in a power of attorney has no responsibility after the death of the principal.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
POA is only while they are alive. DPOA is different in scope than just a POA.
DPOA can do just about anything in the best interest of and behalf of the person.
Keep in mind that most POA have a "hold harmless" clause that states that the person who is POA will not be held liable if things go wrong.
Executor/executrix is named in a will starts when they die and you go into probate.
If you are holding a joint POA, you should have a copy of it. If you don't the attorney who drew it up should have a copy of the POA, wills, codicils, etc. in their office, Most attorneys hold the originals on behalf of the client (this makes filing probate, etc. easier). This is standard and included in the fee paid to do the paperwork. Even if it's decades later.
If mom is still cognitive and capable, she can change the POA's. If so, pleaseconsider getting the following done or updated:
- a Statutory Durable Power of Attorney (a Financial Power of Attorney)
- Medical Power of Attorney
- Living Will
- Declaration of Guardian in Event of Incapacity
- HIPAA Waiver
Good luck
i am just so mad-no furious- i didnt get a chance to get my things, or even look at moms things-sometimes i think i will just go mad--and other times where i vent,write,paint,scream-and manage to make it to another day- sorry for the rant-i was just having a very hard time- so thanks-and 1 more thing,how does someone-me-
get to see this new POA, and any other important papers she has-financial,a will, banking etc??????????????????????brothers name ison moms banking-of course-she was going to put my name on it also- but didnt-
im just mad at everyone today! everyone left in my family---k
A Durable Power Of Attorney is something you need incase the person becomes unable to make their own decisions. The bank should have someone as Payable Upon Death. There are papers that will need to be signed. I do not believe a Durable Power of Attorrney can overtake the bank account if the person dies, UNLESS that person's name is a Joint Account Holder.
FYI: You cannot move a persons Soc. Security Check Deposited into any other account without being an Authorized Representative of her Check. You will need a Doctor to suggest in writing to the Soc. Security that you would be a good candidate, he will send that to the Soc. Sec. administration and the Soc. Sec. Admin. will make an appointment for you. REMEMBER that Soc. Sec. does NOT recognize POA or Durable POA. They will not talk to you. Get the Authorized Representative.
Remember, anyone can take Mother into the Bank and have her Okay the Money to be withdrawn,,,,even a stranger,,,,,,but IF you are the Authorized Represenative, no ONE but that person can withdrawal or change accounts. ThisDocument Must be presented to the BANK and the bank will make a note that no one, NOT even mother can handle the account, ONLY the Authorized Representative. Being an Authorized Representative is made because the person is not able to handle their finances. The Authorized Representative will be responsible for all Money Records and reciepts are a must. Once a year a form will be sent asking how much was spent and how much was left. Good Luck.
A strong letter from your lawyer to her may stop the ridiculous shenanigans that she loves to indulge in.