I thought with dementia they forgot things but with O ( I can’t give name sorry) stories seem stuck on repeat. Almost a year ago people helped with cutting of trees off her property. She watched off porch, instead of wood being hauled to dump it was taken to someone who could use it and she for some reason has accused them of stealing that wood and wants a gun to kill them. (She tells everyone including her doctor.) Her doctor wanted her placed into a hospital but her daughter refused at that time until this last 2 weeks and her Mom has been calling cops daily saying lies. Saying she is being beat (when everyone else is sleeping) or they are trying to kill her. It’s gotten very bad and serious. So this next week things are being looked into to see if she can get some serious help. My question for daughter is what causes this in first place? I tried showing them this site. I read things here then tell them what I read to help out.
Refer your friend to the ALZ.org website for information about dementia, and to this 33 page booklet which is a free download:
Understanding the Dementia Experience, by Jennifer Ghent-Fuller
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/210580
I am so sorry your neighbor is having these issues. For a condition you describe to come on suddenly it is often a urinary tract infection. If the condition is long standing it sounds more like a mental illness although some dementias cause hallucinations as well.
it sounds like “the daughter” is seeking medical help and that is the best she can do.
I know many neighbors look out for one another and that’s a good thing.
I hope she gets help soon.
If the daughter has refused the doctor's recommendations for her mother, she will shortly learn that constant calls to the police will earn a visit from APS, and requirement for treatment and placement, on a 5150 hold possibly.
It won't be much longer now, so back away, do not interfere. Stop listening to this very ill neighbor. Unless you see your neighbor fall outside and need to call 911 on her behalf, stay out of it. (BTW, do not pick her up).
Your input into the neighbor's issues will only delay her treatment. imo from experience.
You cared, now stay out of it.
[ Saying she is being eat( ]
If you are not family. I mean actual DNA, marriage linked family
If you do not have POA
If you are not this persons Guardian
Back off.
What this person does and or says is the families business.
You have given them some information about this site that is as far as you personally should go.
If you think the person is being abused or neglected you can contact APS give information you think is relevant then BACK OFF.
Oh, what causes this...Dementia it can be one or more types of dementia. There can be other underlying medical conditions but...
Since you are not family, you are not POA, you are not a legal Guardian you have no right to this information.
She’s just asking for some clarity of this dementia situation. YOU need to BACK OFF and EVERYONE has the right to know what the causes are and any information about these symptoms. My gosh…
They can cause hallucinations and delirium, they can also increase dementia behavior in seniors. They DO NOT have the same symptoms as young people do when they have one.
Such a difficult situation for everyone involved. Hopefully, you can be a help to the daughter during this time. Friends are so very important for the caregiver.
The daughter + family are in a bit of a pickle. It would be a lot easier if they still lived in their own home wherever it was and convinced the mother to move into a dementia unit. She does need to be checked for a UTI, but if it isn’t that, she may need anxiety medication and to have her access to a phone eliminated.
The delusions the poor lady is suffering from are part of dementia. My MIL has this, but she had them before the dementia really set in due to mental illness. At a certain point, it may become necessary for the police to take her in for an evaluation. They should let it happen and ask for help.
You can do nothing.
it seems it maybe time to take her out to dinner, and then to a facility. There’s no excellent facility out there BTW; but some are better. They all make this sound good but the reality of these care facilities is they are there to care for your loved one with a profit right in their face.
after three years of my wife in two facilities, I have brought her home now and have caregivers in my house for 9 hours a day while I work.
I found two caregivers who are excellent in their field. It’s hard to care for so many people in those facilities for one person, though they wish they could.
Hope this helps
In my own personal experience, caring neighbors are few and far between, especially when there’s an elder person with dementia involved whose delusions are wreaking havoc to not just family, but everyone within their reach. In my case, neighbors who “stayed out of it” didn’t let me know about their interactions with my mother, key info that could have helped me get the help and diagnosis she needed sooner.
Neighbor, don’t stop caring, just check in with the elder lady’s family that you’re not overreaching and keep your lines of communication open with them. This situation will have to play out at their speed. However, if you witness elder abuse, call your state’s APS division.
I am so sorry you are having to experience this too! It is so hard!
Somewhere on this forum, I read that if she is left at the hospital, then they will be responsible for getting her placed appropriately. Anyone out there who has actually done this successfully?????
Thankfully, these people are not driving. Hopefully, they do not have access to weapons of destruction either.
The mother needs to be admitted to somewhere where she cannot potentially harm others, verbally or physically. She already harming those around her with her emotional outbursts. Tough, tough times for the family and those around them. Prayers...
It's not intentional lying. If, for some reason, the details of a memory are incomplete, a person may unconsciously fill in missing details with incorrect information. For example, it IS true that trees were cut down. But it is NOT true that there was theft involved. However, since grandma doesn't remember the entire incident accurately, she fills in imagined details that seem to complete the story. And, as far as she is aware, her account is correct.
Consequently, it is not helpful to contradict her, or try to provide facts that she honestly doesn't remember. She'll only feel threatened because she's thoroughly convinced she's correct.
I've encountered this a few times but I'm no expert. (You might want to consult someone in the mental health field). It's probably best to just redirect her when she speaks of this, change the subject, get her talking about something else. She's not likely to remember much of the conversation afterward, especially if you don't let her dwell on it. That's not to say she won't repeat her account again at another time and place. She probably will. Perhaps you'll get a chance to warn others, beforehand, that she may not have all her facts right due to brain damage in her past.
I disagree. Sometimes it's okay to indulge a demented senior in their delusion if it's harmless.
The delusions the elder the OP is talking about are not harmless. They are dangerous to not just her but the people around her.
I've had many elderly care clients with dementia who made up stories of being abused, starved, and stolen from. You correct that every time. If someone accuses someone of theft and it isn't true, correct them simply. 'That is not true. I will not discuss with you anymore' was my go-to response. With excessive repeating, answer a question a few times then stop answering it. If you answer the same question a thousand times it makes no difference.
Sometimes it's a good idea to inform the local police when there's a demented senior making accusations, just as a head's up. The ones who make the false accusations more often than not are also cop callers.
But I can, and do, say that openly correcting this woman is an exercise in futility and will only cause her further agitation. She suffers from an organic disease. She has not consciously manufactured a lie. Often a skillful change of subject proves a good temporary diversion.
That's when the people around the person have to just start ignoring whatever the topic is. Maybe it's stealing, maybe it's something else. Ignoring with love is sometimes the only way.