My Mother requires 24 hour care and cannot be left alone . I also have my father in law who is also in the very early stages of dementia, whom I like but not ready for . My son and husband need more attention than I can give because Mom comes first and father in law is always there. I cannot ask Mom's other children for help they have done everything in their power to make my job harder than it should be. Besides Mom did not trust them when she was well so I sure do not. I am also not sure she will qualify for medicaid and the cost can add up quickly. She qualifies except for the House she sold 4 years ago, Should I keep trying or should I keep her at home for another year. I do not have thousands to gamble with, that she should get excepted and don't mind taken care of her just need breaks.The guilt of placing her in there is extreme. Am I doing the right thing ? Now about my father in law maybe some of you have seen this behavior before He follows my Husband everywhere, tries to dress like him, even rides to work with him sitting in a truck for hours(with AC) because he is not allowed on job sites, when they are home he continues to look for and ask where my husband is. My Mother never did any of this It is the strangest thing and creepy too, cause he is constantly looking out the windows and doors for my husband. I think I am jealous of my Father in Law? How weird is that?
Don't be jealous of your FIL. He's just ill. So many people talk about parent's who suffer dementia and one of the things they mention is how the parent is just glued to them. Following them everywhere and anxious when they are not present. It's a symptom of the illness.
My heart goes out to you and your husband. What a gigantic burden you are carrying.
More details. Maybe we can help. Love, Cattails.
Your situation is unique. I've never heard of someone selling their home and then keeping the proceeds in cash, not to say that doesn't happen. How much did she receive from the sale? How long has she lived with you?
Hope this is helpful. Let me know.
Cattails.
I understand that your father-in-law likes going with your husband. If he can get himself up in the morning and get himself dressed, etc., then he is doing pretty good.
I think your mom's care is the most difficult for you, requiring 24/7 on your part. Again, have you actually filed with Medicaid on her behalf.
Cattails
In Washington state, an income of $1375.00 per month would qualify for Medicaid. My dad's income is $1500.00 monthly and he qualifies due to his monthly income.
Maybe there is a misunderstanding with what the Social Worker told you. Your mom could not be admitted to a "Skilled Nursing Facility", most often found in Nursing Home/Rehab center, unless she was admitted to the hospital for a problem and had a 72 hour stay. Then she would go to the SNF and possibly rehab and that would be paid by Medicare for approx. 100 days. She would be released from care once she was no longer making improvement. That could be a matter of weeks. If at that time, you felt you could no longer manage her care, the social worker at the facility would help you with the Medicaid application so your mom could stay on as a resident.
I think you have been ill advised or, like most of us, the whole thing is over whelming. Have you talked to your local Area on Aging? If you don't know how to reach them, call your local Department of Social Services and ask them how you make contact with AOA. They can explain many things to you about the process of filing for Medicaid for your mom. You local department of Social Services can help you with that too.
RR: Even if your mom had an income of $2,000.00 per month, she could still get help from medicaid and be in a nursing home. They would take her income first, apply it toward her bill for the nursing home and then Medicaid would pick up the difference.
You need to get some help with this. Call Social Services. That is where you begin with the application.
Good luck and many hugs, Cattails.