I am my mothers power of attorney and care taker. She has dementia and other health issues. 2 of my siblings who haven't been around in 20 months all of a sudden want to see our mother because we moved. The reason why we moved is because one of them evicted us (she had our mother sign over the house, even though our mother who had dementia). They both lived minutes up the street from us, yet they did not come over and visit.
My mother is conditioned to me, and the last time they were in the picture my mother was completely different. I am not comfortable with them taking care of her because they would not know what to do. My mother would also not be comfortable with them, as one of my other siblings who was always around took care of my mother not even for a day and she became very disorientated. My mother has a chronic cough that causes her to lose her breathe. They would not know how to treat her during one of these spells (such as administering medication and trying to talk her through it). Also, she now has food pureed. I also help her with eating because she swallows the pureed food too fast and starts to choke. We have a system I talk her through that works.
Back to my 2 siblings, both of them exploited her. One drained $10,000 from my mother's bank account (before I took over). She also used to take care of my mother when she first got sick, and she would ignore my mother's cries for help. She would also let my mother do what she wanted which resulted in many falls. The other one had her sign over the house AFTER my mother became sick. At the time, we were all aware that my mother was not been able to distinguish yes from no.
We live in Massachusetts. The both of them are not allowed in my home. Our other siblings who have been actively present in my mother's life come over and visit her, as well as other extended family. I have a restraining order against one of the two siblings for harassment, and I am looking into pursuing a case against the other sibling for having my mother sign over the house when my mother could not make a decision. I told them both months ago that they could come visit their mother when she lived up the street, and both ignored me.
If one of them takes this far enough, will a court order them visitation of some kind? Like I said... it would be impossible to ask my mother if she wants to see them because her "yes"s and "no"s are confused. She is doing fine the way she is and I'm afraid her health will be disrupted if they reenter her life. We moved very far away from them, and my mother is unable to handle long trips and becomes overwhelmed in environments she is unfamiliar with.
Any advice or tips?
you need an attorney, the house transaction can be reversed if it can be shown that sister used "undue influence". You can pose these sorts of legal questions on a website named AVVO. You will receive responses from several lawyers that are rated for performance by clients and peers on the site as well.