My sisters have never been very nice over the years and I have had to step in when mum and dad have been upset because they have been ignored by them. They haven't, in the past, spoken to our parents for years. Dad died and mum was taken in by sister. I couldn't look after mum as I had a mental health problem and was in and out of hospital. Sister then stopped me from seeing mum in the last 3 years of her life, even though I wanted to see mum.
Mum has now died and sister blames me for making mum miserable in the last few years of her life. Sister has cut me off and never wants to speak to me again. Sister has said she wants to 'follow her own path with her own family'. I have nobody else. I'm 65 years old and I don't know what I've done wrong. I've asked my sister but she won't tell me. I want to stay in my own home as I get older but I'm lonely and more so now my sister has cut me off. Years ago I helped mum/dad as much as I could in order to keep them happy and I helped look after/educate and entertain my sisters; children. So, I'm at a loss as to why they have cut me off. I'm struggling to come to terms with this. What has gone wrong do you think?
You may have not done enough for your parents in their final days, in your sister's opinion, and now she's angry with you. You can't change another person's opinion of you, that's a fact. But you CAN choose to know that you did what you could do for your parents, and then move on with your own life.
I will be 65 years old in July and I have no siblings but one half-sister I met in 2000 (long story) who I barely keep in touch with. We on a public forum cannot possibly know what has gone wrong in your life with your sister; you yourself may have an inkling but if not, try to stop dwelling on it. You've apologized and sent flowers, so now the ball is in HER court, should she decide to play once more.
If not, try to forge ahead with your own life which should not be contingent on what your sister does or does not do. Sign up with an online dating service and go out and have some FUN! In many ways, life begins at 65 so go figure out how to make YOU happy!
Wishing you the best of luck carving out your own life now~!
Your sister is a user. When she needs something from you, she will be all lovey. It's not you. You have to realize this is her and not let yourself get sucked in. Maybe the reason she took Mom in was because she may get something out of caring for her.
You are now 65 with your own health problems. Every cent you have you will need for YOUR future. YOU are responsible for that future. Don't expect someone to care for you. You need to plan for when u get older.
Wish your sister goodspeed in getting on with her own life, and get on with yours. Many don't have family. Many have family that is more a trial and a burden than a gift. I wish you the very best moving forward and hope that your new year is a first step toward a productive, happier life for yourself.
I'm sorry you feel so hurt by your sister's actions. Families are so hard. I'm the oldest of four sisters. I too was the main caregiver to my parents. I know it's hard when the lines of communications are not open. But maybe your sister does feel a lot of anger and resentment about being the primary caregiver to your mum in her final years.
If you want you can write her a letter or hopefully your other sisters will help mend the relationships. Take your time and maybe consider talking to a grief counsellor, family therapist or joining a support group or other community groups for support.
I know we all long for family closeness and togetherness but sometimes we cannot achieve that on our own. Give your sister time and maybe she will come around.
Thinking of you.
I advise you to cultivate peers and others that you see as sort of family. It may not be "family" in the way your sister biologically is, but she has said no to social connection--which you can cultivate otherwise.
She cut off mum/dad about 10 years ago and I had to be the main caregiver during this time as our parents were so upset and crying a lot. Then she got back in contact when she needed money and her son was taking hard drugs.
Each of us as sisters has stepped up to help mum/dad but younger sister is acting like a martyr and says she doesn't want to communicate ever again. Then out of the blue she opens up dialogue again ( she had Covid) but communication was short lived. It is so confusing.