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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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This must be very difficult on your brother. This disease is so cruel.
I agree with JeanneGibbs. Try different answers and go with what your SIL is most comfortable with. Your brother can do this too. He can tell your SIL that he's her husband or if that upsets her he can tell her he's a friend of yours. Whatever keeps your SIL calm and not afraid. As the dementia progresses your stories may have to change. But it's all about keeping SIL calm and secure.
Does it bother her that she doesn't know who he is? Is she afraid of him? Does she seem to like him in spite of forgetting his relationship?
I'd try different answers until I hit upon one that comforts and satisfying her.
"He is my brother. He is a very dear man!"
"He helps take care of you. He is kind and funny (or gentle or strong or whatever adjectives apply)."
"His name is Barney and he makes the best grilled burgers I have ever tasted."
"He has known you for years and always wants to see you well taken care of."
Or you could try explaining that he is her husband, if that doesn't upset her. If she likes that answer and can accept it, pull out the family picture albums!
Oh, I guess you are asking how HE should answer. Unless it upsets her, I'd go with the truth. "We are married. We live together. We've been in this house 16 years and before that we lived in Baltimore." Any details that will help orient her. But if that is upsetting, then I'd go with "I'm mimi's brother. I like to help her take care of you."
My heart goes out to all of you! Comfort your brother and assure him, over and over, that this has nothing to do with their relationship. It is strictly the dementia interfering with memories.
This happens for some people in the latter stages of Alz. If my SIL asked me, I would tell her the truth about who he was each time she asked. She probably won't remember what you tell her. If it upsets her too much, maybe you can tell her something she is more comfortable with. I feel bad for your brother and you. This is a sad disease.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I agree with JeanneGibbs. Try different answers and go with what your SIL is most comfortable with. Your brother can do this too. He can tell your SIL that he's her husband or if that upsets her he can tell her he's a friend of yours. Whatever keeps your SIL calm and not afraid. As the dementia progresses your stories may have to change. But it's all about keeping SIL calm and secure.
I'd try different answers until I hit upon one that comforts and satisfying her.
"He is my brother. He is a very dear man!"
"He helps take care of you. He is kind and funny (or gentle or strong or whatever adjectives apply)."
"His name is Barney and he makes the best grilled burgers I have ever tasted."
"He has known you for years and always wants to see you well taken care of."
Or you could try explaining that he is her husband, if that doesn't upset her. If she likes that answer and can accept it, pull out the family picture albums!
Oh, I guess you are asking how HE should answer. Unless it upsets her, I'd go with the truth. "We are married. We live together. We've been in this house 16 years and before that we lived in Baltimore." Any details that will help orient her. But if that is upsetting, then I'd go with "I'm mimi's brother. I like to help her take care of you."
My heart goes out to all of you! Comfort your brother and assure him, over and over, that this has nothing to do with their relationship. It is strictly the dementia interfering with memories.