Can Social Services in FL put my Mom in a nursing home when I have all the documents for DPOA, etc?
I've had DPOA for my mom now for over a year and since went to a new attorney with my mom and dad and we did all that was needed for both of them. DPOA, guardian, living wills, etc. All with clear directives as to what they wish to do. Which is to stay together in their home for as long as they can and then move in with my hubby and me. We have a large house and they can have a separate suite for themselves. My mom fell ill and got pneumonia and is doing much better now. They both have mild dementia. My dad goes to the grocery store daily and cooks evening meals. Goes gambling on Saturday for about 6/7 hours. My brother who live in NJ(and had seen them once in 44 yrs) called the hospital and tried to get my mom put into a nursing home and told them my dad couldn't do anything for himself! So Social Services called me and I told them that was not true and about all the papers we had drawn up. They actually drilled me with questions and even asked if we were financially strapped! I said absolutely not! We are putting a new roof on my parents home, new a/c and doors, windows. Plus a new kitchen and bath plus flooring. I told them that I am taking her home and that there is nothing wrong with my dad. And that my hubby and I are there daily and i take care of my mom by taking her to her doctors, giving her her meds, etc. So my question would be, does Social Services have the right to over ride everything and just do what they want with my parents? I know my brother told them a bunch of lies and I'm not sure if they're listening to him. When it's time to release my mom, can I just go there and take her home?
Thanks for your help.
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I will do just that. My mom actually wants this done. Odd thing is he was a corrections officer and now retired. My youngest daughter is also a Deputy Sheriff in our county. I will also the HIPPA form to stop him. He seems to contact all the Dr.s and tells them what he wants done. So far, the hospital is listening to me and not giving her any crazy meds.
She is getting better every day and will be home before long.
My eldest daughter said to block him from calling their home.
I drafted the Petition on behalf of my parents, citing briefly all the reasons why they needed to be protected from this particular individual. In your case, I would cite the stress, anxiety, resulting ill health, jeopardy to your parents' health physically and mentally, and position of the hospital staff to medicate your mother if she has been given any meds to calm or soothe her.
I would cite as many incidents as I could, as you want to show a pattern of behavior rather than just one incident.
At that time, my petition was enough. Now there are different petitions for different purposes - some familial, some domestic for spouses, some domestic for nonspouses.
One of the attorneys in the PPO office reviewed my Petition, may have made a few changes, and then sent us to the judge handling PPOs that day. In her court, I approached her court clerk, who took the Petition to the judge, who made some changes, but did grant the PPO.
Then I went to the Sheriff's office as they were responsible for service. At the time it was either $20 or $30 for service. That was back in 2000 or 2001.
Be sure to take the powers of attorney with you as you'll be needing them to file on behalf of your parents.
You can ask for denial of contact by mail, phone, electronic device, in person, within a certain radius of their home, etc. Since your brother isn't in the area, the phone and electronic contacts would be the most important.
What you can't do is prevent him from contacting the hospital, although if you provide them with a copy of your parent's medical POAs as well as a HIPAA authorization form that the hospital uses, the hospital will be prevented from giving him any information. That notation would likely be put on your parents' charts.
What you can't do is prevent him from contacting APS, as you have no standing on their behalf. However, if you do get a PPO against him for your parents, and he calls to make a false report again, bring out your PPO and explain why you had to get it.
If he continues to call APS, they may take some action of their own, such as referring him to police for filing false and/or fraudulent reports.
Good luck. Let us know how everything works out, and in the meantime I hope your mother gets well very quickly.
Thanks again. This is a great forum. So much support. (((((HUGS)))))
Perhaps he thinks you're getting paid for and/or profiting financially, or perhaps there are long standing issues between him and you. Regardless, not having seen your parents in 44 years, he has no on site experience on which to base his complaints.
My approach to meddlers is that they need to be put in their place ASAP to stop any further meddling. What I did in the past when a relative was meddling in my father's affairs is to locate a Michigan statutory provision that would interpret her behavior as harassment. Then I sent her an e-mail advising that if she didn't stop her behavior, pursuant to the Michigan statute, I would take action as allowed. That including requesting a PPO to prevent her from contacting my father again. Of course she was livid and responded with a vicious e-mail, but she got the message.
I don't believe in allowing people to intimidate me. I have enough of that to deal with from the code enforcement people in the city.
There's an easier way though, and that's to ask the attorney who prepared the estate planning documents to send a letter advising him that his verbal misrepresentations against you, inferentially, and of your parents to SS MAY constitute slander (since they implied you're not and/or will not be providing proper care to your parents).
This is a stretch legally, and an attorney may not want to make those kinds of representations, but may just advise him politely and in legal terms to mind his own business.
Either way, I would think that he'll get the message to leave your parents alone.
You might want to push the issue a little bit more and thank him for his concern, adding that you're glad he's at last taking an interest in your parents. Further, you presume this is an indication he wants to be involved.
Then ask him specifically what he plans to do to help, emphasizing (true or not) that financial needs are a high priority. Ask him when you can expect a financial contribution from him to help pay for your parents. If you want to push it, e-mail him regularly with the same request.
Carol
As Jeanne and Carol say APS is required by law to investigate any report within 72 hours. When I was investigated I fully cooperated, offered information, gave them access to my Mom and her hubby. Had I not cooperated that would have looked suspicious, just be as helpful and cooperative as you can.
Why did my sibs do this? I will never know but suspect they thought I would run for the hills. That would have been the worst thing I could have possibly done! Talk about looking guilty.
I am proud to say that following the investigation I provided another three years of care for the folks, a total of four years for the same reason, to keep them together as long as possible. The end of May this year both were moved to a community, same one, different areas due to Mom's Alzheimer's, but they still have lunch together daily.
It sounds to me that you will be fine. They may want to follow up with you. Just be polite and show that you have nothing to hide.
It's terribly sad when a family members lie to SS - but again more common than we'd like to think. The fact that your brother hasn't seen your parents in all of these years should hold some weight, In the end, I doubt that you have anything to worry about.
Unless you've been told that you can't take your mom home, I see no reason why you can't.
Please update us when you can. We'd like to know how you are doing.
Carol
Of course no government agency has the right to "do whatever they want" with your parents. There would have to be considerable due process for them to take over guardianship.
At the end of your conversation with Social Services, what did they say about future contacts? Do you have any reason to think there may be obstacles to taking Mom home?