Hubby is physically lashing out on me. 4 incidents now in 2 months. Thrown into a door twice, slammed hand in door breaking my fingertip, and pushed me down on some bins in front of mirrored wall. Gets in my face, I am called the c word, the b word, told to blow him leave him alone or he will divorce me. Gives me ultimatums and empty threats. Being only caregiver past 3 yrs he is resentful i am trying to take care of him, because he is convinced he can care for himself. He cannot even find his own clothes to wear and barely bathes or changes them anyhow unless I urge him to do it. I am permanently disabled have arthritis, 9 herniated discs, fibromyalgia and sciatica and other health issues. He knocked me to floor hitting by back against door edge yesterdAY when I asked if meds were taken night before. He pretends not to hear me making me repeat my questions but refuses to answer. Will not give me any kind of POA in case I need it for his care. All finances are in his name and I have got to get it to where I am in charge as all bills are being paid late we have a lease to renew and he is not doing capable of making important decisions. His driving is scaring me and my daughter,. Leaves me in pain barely getting around mobility-wise and he thinks it was ok to do it. Says I am always talking and he does't want to hear my mouth, I don't know what this means. He also runs away to be for hours. To keep hinself safe he tells me. He sleeps more than awake. I need help before he kills me in one of his rages. He also should not be working his current job as a mechanic for the airlines as I am concerned since normal tasks are difficult, he has memory loss and is totally disorganized here at home. He cannot complete a task of put together the vacuum properly after he cleans it when finished using it. His dr, is not convinced it is dementia but thinks he has depression. I know it is more than that. I need help.
Is there anywhere you can go that's safe? It might seem a bit cruel to leave him on his own if he can't take care of himself, but if he's violent and he really hurts you, you wouldn't be able to take care of him, anyway.
A question to others who read this group is whether you putting in a domestic violence call would be something you could use to get some amount of control back to the situation?
Here's a question for you -- how did you get your broken fingers set? Did you admit what happened? If not, you lost a golden opportunity to show a pattern, in my opinion. Whether his behavior is from dementia, depression, anger, or he's just an abuser that never before showed it, I have to think showing a pattern would be helpful.
http://memory.ucsf.edu/ftd/overview/ftd/symptoms/multiple
No, seriously, this situation has crossed the line. You have been repeatedly physically assaulted. Your husband is a danger to himself and others. Depression FTD, substance abuse, whatever...he can't be permitted to treat you this way. He is either criminal or incompetent legally. You do not necessarily need to wait for another attack. A woman's shelter would have a social worker, even going to the police with what has already happened, maybe getting an attorney involved already. This nightmare needs to be over.