My mother will answer any calls from telemarketers trying to sell something. Recently, she bought a subscription for a magazine (that now has to be paid for) and changed her diabetic supplies. She, of course, remembers neither and we argue about it. How do I stop it?
Second, turn the ringer off when you are not home.
Third, though you didn't mention it, block the QVC TV channel. :-)
Does your Mom live with you, is she in a facility or is she still on her own? If she lives with you, would she actually miss the phone if it was gone? My Dad has (or did have) an obsession with the telephone. He always worried if it was plugged in, was it working (because no one called that day), did it have a dial tone, etc? Over the past year he never answered the phone; he was told never to answer if no one else was at home so he didn't answer...period. But he became so obsessed with the phone that my Mom and I finally gave in and switched to a TracFone. We just had their number ported over. Mom then removed all the landline telephones in the house, even the cords. Dad never even noticed. I guess out of sight, out of mind. You might consider doing this and consider keeping the phone in your pocket when you're at home. It will take a while for telemarketers to start calling. When they do, you can add the number to the contact list and name the caller SPAM, DO NOT ANSWER. Maybe this will work!
I struggled with what to do about this ...on the one hand, it's absolutely his money to spend as he likes. On the other hand, I know we're looking down the road to expensive, long-term memory care ... and if he goes through everything and has to apply for Medicaid, they will expect us to “repay” all such donations before they’ll start to kick in funding …. so I don't want the money to get flushed away even to reputable organizations (and believe me, a fair number of these are NOT reputable).
I've talked to him about this many times, and every time, he agrees with me that it makes more sense for him to keep an ongoing list of organizations he'd like to support, and that I will give money to these organizations in his name when he has passed away and doesn't need the money himself anymore. Sometimes, this works for a while (we’re in a “golden period” right now where he hasn’t given money away in several months), but sometimes, when the dam goes, it really goes.
Anyway, he also agreed to let me move his phone into my name, which I did a few months ago. If he loses control and starts giving away massive amounts of money again to random organizations that call and ask for it, I now have the ability to simply change his number and get the new one unlisted. If I have to do this, I may not even tell him I've done it .... I know all the doctors, friends, neighbors, and family who would need the new number, and can inform them directly.
Similarly, I have considered having his mail forwarded to a PO Box in my name, just so that I can weed out the junk mail and constant solicitations for money (which, of course, quadrupled once he’d given money to a few of these). I read some articles which said that as my Dad’s POA, I’d be able to arrange to forward his mail to a different address, and I talked to my Dad about it … he actually sounded relieved by the prospect (he hates “processing” his mail, and particularly hates throwing away charitable solicitations, because they all contain stories and pictures that are designed to tug on your heartstrings). I’ve been putting off forwarding his mail so far, but the time may be coming … not because he’s given away a lot of money lately, but because he’s misplacing/forgetting about important mailings (such as from the IRS).
One note that I read said that if you DO end up forwarding a parent’s mail elsewhere, it’s a very good idea to get a dedicated PO Box for this purpose. Don’t just forward it to your own address, or you will be wading through vast amounts of junk mail forever!
My mother does the whole thing where she pledges hundreds of dollars to political organizations, but then never pays them. She says that answering the phone is "the only way to get rid of these people".
So most days I just put the ringer on mute or unplug the phone entirely. Sigh.
On another note about elders buying stuff from callers, mail, etc. My grandmother (Dad's mom) also had Alzheimer's. For a number of years she lived on her own with it because the 3 children who lived in the same city and state refused to believe she had AD. "She was just getting old". She ended up spending who knows how much money on magazines and other items from those mailings we all get from the company that sells them (won't name names!) She was sure she was going to win the grand prize. So apparently, every time she got a mailing, she ordered more and more stuff so her name would remain on the potential prize list. Her total income was a small amount of SS. As bad as the no-call list works, I WISH there was a no-mail list also, to keep our elders (and us) from getting all this ridiculous junk mail telling us we're going to get rich by ordering something, etc. In my opinion its just another way of preying on the elderly and uninformed.
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