Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
I would suggest you read the book by Liz Scheier called Never Simple. This memoir is about her history of trying to help her mentally ill mother over decades, to no avail.
I agree with MJ, there is no reason you must serve as POA to your Mom. I would resign. To do so you will need legal help. Often Adult Protective Services can help you. Tell them you cannot handle this fiduciary duty anymore either physically or mentally and need to be relieved. The state will appoint a guardian in all likelihood.
I am so sorry for the situation you find yourself in but it's unlikely you can help or change anything, and continuing to try may be forfeiting you own life and right to happiness.
Are you actively acting as her POA? IS this something that requires you to be involved with mom on more than a monthly basis?
POA doesn't mean you're running someone's life. Honestly, my DH is his mom's POA and he hasn't done a SINGLE thing with his 'power'.
You can, with this 'power' move her to a higher level of care. And you can discuss her health conditions with her Drs. Maybe a good calming medication will make everyone involved a lot more pleasant to deal with.
If that doesn't work, then yes, you can 'award' somebody else with this job. Likely she'll be mad no matter WHAT you do.
Use your POA to segue mom into Assisted Living or Memory Care AL where she'll get a much higher level of care and you can back off a bit from all the involvement. Leave her presence when the verbal abuse ramps up, too.....you'll be surprised at how fast she'll catch on to realizing her behavior is causing you distress. And if she'd like you to stay, she'll start treating you nicely. Dementia or no dementia, my mother heard that message loud and clear.
Also, get her doc on board to write her a prescription for an antidepressant and/or some calming meds to relax her. Wellbutrin and Ativan worked wonders for my mother and her histrionics.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Your profile says mom is in Independent Living and has dementia. Is it possible she requires a higher level of care?
Do you leave or hang up the phone when she becomes abusive? No one should have to endure abuse, verbal or otherwise.
Have you considered having her seen by a geriatric psychiatrist for medication address her mood swings?
I agree with MJ, there is no reason you must serve as POA to your Mom. I would resign. To do so you will need legal help. Often Adult Protective Services can help you. Tell them you cannot handle this fiduciary duty anymore either physically or mentally and need to be relieved. The state will appoint a guardian in all likelihood.
I am so sorry for the situation you find yourself in but it's unlikely you can help or change anything, and continuing to try may be forfeiting you own life and right to happiness.
POA doesn't mean you're running someone's life. Honestly, my DH is his mom's POA and he hasn't done a SINGLE thing with his 'power'.
You can, with this 'power' move her to a higher level of care. And you can discuss her health conditions with her Drs. Maybe a good calming medication will make everyone involved a lot more pleasant to deal with.
If that doesn't work, then yes, you can 'award' somebody else with this job. Likely she'll be mad no matter WHAT you do.
Also, get her doc on board to write her a prescription for an antidepressant and/or some calming meds to relax her. Wellbutrin and Ativan worked wonders for my mother and her histrionics.
Best of luck to you.