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About 2 months ago mom couldn't walk but had no other symptoms. I called an ambulance and she had pneumonia and blood clots that traveled from her leg to her lungs.
She came home 5 days later and she was placed on hospice care. She got a hospital bed and a Hoyer lift (which was of no use to her due to her thin skin).
Over a year ago I hired an aide to come in Monday thru Friday to help me and she has been a blessing.
Mom isn't eating much (some days she does swallow a scrambled egg) and drinks juice (Pedialyte). At night she drinks soup I made.
She has to be moved in her bed to prevent bed sores which is not easy for me to do alone even though she's thin.
So it's a matter of time. I'm very sad. I took care of her for 12 years and she was very easy to take care of. I don't regret any of it.

JennaRose, may The Lord be with you and your mom during this difficult time.

You have been a blessing to her and everyone here that has heard your story.

May you find peace, comfort and joy now and for your future. (((HUGS)))
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Reply to Isthisrealyreal
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Jennarose, my first thought after reading your post, is how lucky you are.
I'm sure you don't feel lucky, right now, as I'm sure you were not expecting someone to say that.

But, you are truly blessed to of had such a beautiful relationship with your mother.

I'm very touched by your post. And I'm very sorry, that you have to go through this horrible time and that your mom is leaving you. 🙏😥
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Reply to Anxietynacy
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It's so very difficult to witness this end of life journey, I know.

As far as moving mom in bed to prevent bed sores goes, you only have to move her a quarter turn every 2 hours. Not much, in other words. Waffle boots to protect her heels are a great idea too.

I pray that God gives you strength and endurance to bear this caregiving journey that lies ahead. And that moms transition is peaceful and comfortable.

Sending you love and empathy, my friend. One day at a time.
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Reply to lealonnie1
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JennaRose to make things a bit easier on you and mom sometimes you do not have to move mom a lot just grabbing the bottom sheet and pulling it up a bit is enough to reposition and get blood flowing and pressure off a particular area. To make pulling the sheet even easier lower the head of the bed as much as possible, raise the foot of the bed quite a bit and let gravity help you move her up a bit.
To roll her to one side or the other gather the sheet at her shoulder and hip and then walk to the other side of the bed and take the gathered sheet and bring it all towards you so you are not applying any direct pressure on her skin it is all on the sheet and roll her. (Kinda like you would roll a cinnamon roll. If that makes sense) Stop when she is on her side. Now place pillows at her back and around her legs to cushion her.
You seem like you are doing an awesome job keeping mom comfortable.
I am sure mom appreciates all that you and her caregiver do.
((hugs))
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Reply to Grandma1954
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So sad and difficult for you.
But I am so glad you have no regrets, too many caregivers at EOL have so many unnecessary regrets, guilt, doubts and hopes that they can in any ways prevent the unavoidable.
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Reply to Evamar
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JennaRose, thinking of you. 😊
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Reply to SnoopyLove
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JennaRose, you are blessed to have been able to care for your mom and that she's been very easy to take care of.
Not many folks on here are as fortunate, and only wish they could say that about caring for their parent.
You've obviously done a good job, and I pray that these last few weeks or months will not be difficult for either of you. Just make sure that you leave nothing left unsaid.
May the Lord bless and keep you both.
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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Blessings to you both. I pray your Mom has a peaceful passing, and that you can find some peace in all this as well. I cared for my Mom all my adult life - it was an honor - she passed 10 years ago. Now, I'm here with Dad - he's in the final stages of Lewy Body Dementia - Not sure how long he will hang in there, but he's not eating much at all any longer, and sleeps most of the day away. So, I think his time is coming as well. Take care.
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Reply to Mamacrow
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I’m sorry you’re watching the end coming in slow motion. I remember it well and know it’s so very hard. Your mother has been blessed to have you. I wish you both peace and rest
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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I'm so sorry. I think I would not push nutritional drinks as this will prolong suffering. I would give fluids only when/if asked for. Discuss everything now with the Hospice folks. They are getting paid A LOT OF MONEY to accept someone into their care.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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JennaRose Aug 10, 2024
Hi Alva, mom doesn't ask for anything (and hasn't for a long time even before she became sick), I would just give it to her and that started over a year ago or more when she was healthy. The only thing she would ask for were sweets.

I believe her dementia causes her not to feel hunger or thirst. Those feelings don't connect with her brain cells.

When I hand her an adult sippy cup filled with either juice or soup she gulps it down. I did discuss this with the hospice people and they didn't say not to.
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Thanks everyone for your beautiful and thoughtful words, they are truly appreciated. Many names I recognize from when I would have questions in the past and so many of you helped me get through it all.

Thanks again!
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Reply to JennaRose
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(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
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Reply to cover9339
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You are entitled to chaplain or sw appointments from the time she’s in hospice until 13 months after the death. It’s all covered by medicaid.

My chaplain doesn’t push God or anything. He’s there to get me through the grief process. My 13 months are up Sept 4. We actually have had bimonthly appointments.

i would at least try this.
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Reply to PeggySue2020
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JennaRose Aug 11, 2024
A spiritual advisor called me a couple of weeks ago in case I needed to talk. I'm not religious but I am spiritual. I think when I'm ready I will call her. Thanks for mentioning this.
(2)
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It is so sad having to say good bye. Wishing you peace.
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Reply to Hothouseflower
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We are with you,JennaRose.
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Reply to 97yroldmom
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Mom passed away yesterday morning (August 14). I'm feeling very sad and in a bit of shock.
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Reply to JennaRose
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KNance72 Aug 15, 2024
So sorry your Mom Passed get some rest . I find after a person leaves us we really Need to take care of Ourselves . Your Mom will always be in Your heart .
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I'm so sorry, Jenna.
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Reply to BarbBrooklyn
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I’m very sorry for your loss. Losing a beloved mother is a special, unique sadness. Wishing you comfort, healing, and peace for the days ahead
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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Jenna, I can say from my experience no matter how much you are prepared, how much you see decline it is still a shock.
Of course you are sad. I don't think anyone would expect otherwise.
Now you need to be kind to yourself.
Ignore all those that try to rush you to "get over this".
You grieve in your own time, your own way.
Take time for you to take care of yourself.
((hugs))
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Reply to Grandma1954
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Like already said, even when we know death is coming it still often knocks us for a loop.
You did a fabulous job caring for your mom, and now I'm sure she would want you to start taking better care of yourself.
So you can honor your mom by doing just that.
God bless you.
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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So sorry. I wish you peace.
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Reply to Fawnby
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Oh Jenna, I am so sorry for your loss. May The Lord give you grieving mercies, strength and comfort during this difficult time.
(((((HUGS)))))
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Reply to Isthisrealyreal
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Jenna, so sorry for your loss.
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Reply to Hothouseflower
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I would like to add my condolences and suggest that you follow up with grief support that your mom’s hospice should make available. Talking with people that understand great loss can offer a comfort like nothing else.
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Reply to MidwestOT
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JennaRose Aug 15, 2024
Thank you for your words. I did find out there is a grief support group and I'll find out more about it soon. I plan on attending as I could use the support. Thanks!
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My deepest condolences on the loss of your dear mom JennaRose. Try to remember mom laughing and happy, and force your thoughts away from her last moments. I do that myself and it helps a lot. You were a wonderful daughter to her, and for that you can be proud of yourself.

Sending you a big hug and a prayer for peace.
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Reply to lealonnie1
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((((((hugs)))))), Jenna. I'm so sorry. Take time to process this. You have worked hard for your mom and may feel lost for a while. Glad to see you are considering a grief support group.
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Reply to golden23
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((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))))))
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Reply to cover9339
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Dear JennaRose
Mom is at rest. Wishing you all the best and many happy memories. 💐
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Reply to 97yroldmom
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