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Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
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We have done this twice, the first time we told her about the move 2 weeks in advance, she couldn't comprehend what was going on, she called us endlessly asking when she was going to move.
The second time I took my step-mother out for lunch and a little shopping. My brother handled the move with help.
I brought her back and we told her this was her new room, she didn't realize that it was a different home.
We sat her down explained the reason to her, she asked the same questions 20 times, we stayed with her helped her set up and left. We went back the next day, she was in the dining room eating lunch, like nothing happened.
Have their room set up ahead of time with their familiar things, and then say your taking them out to lunch(which will be at the new facility of course though they don't need to know that)and when you're done eating lunch with them instruct the nurse/CNA to take them to their new room so you can leave unnoticed. And then make sure you're staying away for the recommended 2 weeks giving your loved one time to adjust to their new surroundings and people. You can call the office and check on them every day if you want, but it's important that you stay away giving them time to adjust. Best wishes for a smooth transition.
I had to move mom to an MC quite suddenly after a stroke.
This is a bit against the grain, but because mom had SO much energy, I went against the most helpful ‘ less is more’ in MC packing , and instead stuffed her room with too many pictures and even a couple of boxes of stuff. The whole situation was awful, but at least this gave her a task to do - going through things - and some sense of control at least, in an otherwise uncontrollable circumstance. I told her it would be easier for me to take stuff she wanted out than to be missing things and have me take them in . She actually got that. Anyhoo not a tactic for everybody, but it helped a little for super energizer mom.
When I visit I wear the same thing every time , with my hair down (( it’s loud ) and that won’t stop her from not recognizing me sometimes, but has slowed that process I think. At this point I think everybody in her MC recognizes me lol.
Mom’s since had another seizure which has tamped her energy down a LOT. Regardless of energy level I’ve found that photos and photo albums and being consistent with what I wear and when I call has been very helpful. ( When I visit though I always pop in by surprise! )
Best to you during this time…it’s really difficult. Blessings
Take their familiar furniture, photos & clothes. Take whatever would make them comfortable. Follow recommendations from MC about visitation. Make each visit like normal. Talk about meaningful things that allow them to share, usually their younger days.
It depends upon what level of dementia she is at. I found it best to deal with my Mom, at a moderate dementia level, as if she didn't have dementia. I tried to talk to her in single or double syllable words and short phrases so that it would be easier for her to hear and comprehend. No yelling or raising the voice, as it just puts people on edge and therefore, they can't concentrate on the message.
For me, I kept on assuring my Mom that the reason why she was going to MC was due to me....that I could not longer take care of her on a day-to-day basis. I did tell her that I was going to still visit her and take her out and we were going to restaurants. I think the biggest worry is that you are going to drop them there and not going to visit ever (remember "ever" is relative....one day to us can be 1 month to them).
My sister always could work with my Mom. My Mom got to choose the pictures she would take (and we added to it). She didn't have very many clothes so that was a no issue. My Mom wanted to know who was going to hang the pictures on the wall, where she was going to eat, what she was going to do. At the time, she could read short phrases, so I showed her the activities that were planned for the month.
When my Mom asked about her home, I told her that it would probably be rented out since we needed the cash. We did find a property manager and rent out her home. She still asks about that today, 1.5 years later.
She wanted to know who would take her to her doctor appointments, dentists, etc. I told her I would and if I couldn't, then my sister-in-law would.
Whatever she brought up, we answered honestly and truthfully, even though it was uncomfortable. I wanted to make sure that she got the same message from everyone. If someone didn't know the answer to her question, they would say "I'll research it" or "I'll talk to xxx about it", and then follow through.
We are never sure what my Mom will remember and what she will not. We also cannot predict how she will respond, so it is easiest to just tell the truth and tactfully deal with the consequences. (My Mom is a little bit of a drama queen and dementia has NOT limited that part of her personality yet.)
The nurse who came to assess her, came to her home to do the assessment. Thankfully, she was skillful. I told her to speak the truth and I will deal with the consequences afterwards.
We let her ask the questions and we would answer them. We did not put the topic forward as her brain could not switch easily from whatever she was thinking to what we wanted to discuss, even though the topics were related.
Basically, you want to show compassion and truth and the fact that you are reliable. All of these are part of trust. With dementia, along with anything that deals with handicaps, trust is extremely important to being able to face the next day or whatever situation that the person faces.
P.S. My Mom was present for most of the move. We didn't let her be around as we were moving her things out of the condo. However, she was present the entire time we were moving her in.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
The second time I took my step-mother out for lunch and a little shopping. My brother handled the move with help.
I brought her back and we told her this was her new room, she didn't realize that it was a different home.
We sat her down explained the reason to her, she asked the same questions 20 times, we stayed with her helped her set up and left. We went back the next day, she was in the dining room eating lunch, like nothing happened.
She is doing just fine.
And then make sure you're staying away for the recommended 2 weeks giving your loved one time to adjust to their new surroundings and people.
You can call the office and check on them every day if you want, but it's important that you stay away giving them time to adjust.
Best wishes for a smooth transition.
This is a bit against the grain, but because mom had SO much energy, I went against the most helpful ‘ less is more’ in MC packing , and instead stuffed her room with too many pictures and even a couple of boxes of stuff. The whole situation was awful, but at least this gave her a task to do - going through things - and some sense of control at least, in an otherwise uncontrollable circumstance. I told her it would be easier for me to take stuff she wanted out than to be missing things and have me take them in . She actually got that. Anyhoo not a tactic for everybody, but it helped a little for super energizer mom.
When I visit I wear the same thing every time , with my hair down (( it’s loud ) and that won’t stop her from not recognizing me sometimes, but has slowed that process I think. At this point I think everybody in her MC recognizes me lol.
Mom’s since had another seizure which has tamped her energy down a LOT. Regardless of energy level I’ve found that photos and photo albums and being consistent with what I wear and when I call has been very helpful. ( When I visit though I always pop in by surprise! )
Best to you during this time…it’s really difficult. Blessings
For me, I kept on assuring my Mom that the reason why she was going to MC was due to me....that I could not longer take care of her on a day-to-day basis. I did tell her that I was going to still visit her and take her out and we were going to restaurants. I think the biggest worry is that you are going to drop them there and not going to visit ever (remember "ever" is relative....one day to us can be 1 month to them).
My sister always could work with my Mom. My Mom got to choose the pictures she would take (and we added to it). She didn't have very many clothes so that was a no issue. My Mom wanted to know who was going to hang the pictures on the wall, where she was going to eat, what she was going to do. At the time, she could read short phrases, so I showed her the activities that were planned for the month.
When my Mom asked about her home, I told her that it would probably be rented out since we needed the cash. We did find a property manager and rent out her home. She still asks about that today, 1.5 years later.
She wanted to know who would take her to her doctor appointments, dentists, etc. I told her I would and if I couldn't, then my sister-in-law would.
Whatever she brought up, we answered honestly and truthfully, even though it was uncomfortable. I wanted to make sure that she got the same message from everyone. If someone didn't know the answer to her question, they would say "I'll research it" or "I'll talk to xxx about it", and then follow through.
We are never sure what my Mom will remember and what she will not. We also cannot predict how she will respond, so it is easiest to just tell the truth and tactfully deal with the consequences. (My Mom is a little bit of a drama queen and dementia has NOT limited that part of her personality yet.)
The nurse who came to assess her, came to her home to do the assessment. Thankfully, she was skillful. I told her to speak the truth and I will deal with the consequences afterwards.
We let her ask the questions and we would answer them. We did not put the topic forward as her brain could not switch easily from whatever she was thinking to what we wanted to discuss, even though the topics were related.
Basically, you want to show compassion and truth and the fact that you are reliable. All of these are part of trust. With dementia, along with anything that deals with handicaps, trust is extremely important to being able to face the next day or whatever situation that the person faces.
P.S. My Mom was present for most of the move. We didn't let her be around as we were moving her things out of the condo. However, she was present the entire time we were moving her in.