My mama lives in a memory care facility. My best guess is she is in stage 6 dementia. When I see my caller ID light up with the facility's number, always late afternoon or early evening, I cringe at the thought of who is on the other end. The nurse asks if I can speak to my mom and of course I answer, yes. I never know if she is ready to bless me out or just say, hey! Lately, it is much harder tho - she wants to come home. She is tired, doesn't feel good, her suite mate is stealing from her, etc. I'm sure she will never live in the little house she and my daddy shared (he is 92 and still well), but I never know how to answer her. Changing the subject is no good. I am wondering if the staff can give her something to take the edge off during this time of day. Anyone else with this problem?
Ask if Mom can be given something to calm her during this time of the day. As a memory care unit the staff should be trained on caring for Dementia residents. Tell them since the calls are the same old, same old that you don't think they help Mom. Nor is there anything you can do. So they just need to redirect her.
My mother had not really developed sun-downer's. She did have some OCD behavior just before going to bed (living alone, we had a few cameras and could observe this, which became a nightly marathon!) There was no mention of this after she moved into MC. I will say they ordered Lorazepam for the initial move in, so it could be that helped or it could be that the things she was checking were no longer there to check (door, sidelights, dishwasher and something in the LR.) I know they never refilled because I managed her meds and payments.
She was fine up until her first UTI. They called me and wanted me to come deal with her - seriously? I never lived with her as an adult and certainly not after dementia kicked in. Plus she's never been "out of control" before, so what exactly am I supposed to do?
I agree with other comments, they shouldn't be calling you when she's in this state. If they can't redirect her, change her focus onto something else, then they should consult with you and her doctor(s) about medication to tone this down. Mom had to take this med again while being treated for the UTI. It was the lowest dose, worked first time, every time and didn't need to be weaned off. I was there several nights after dinner, and after she had the medication - she was not doped up or "out of it." It was just enough to take the "edge" off.
So, if they can't control her, ask her doctor about getting Rx for something to tone it down. One doc didn't want to give a refill, as these meds can create a fall risk, HOWEVER in all the time before and after being on this medication, the only tumbles she had was when she was NOT on the medication! She was still mobile without any walker or cane, and did not fall because of this med. My argument with the doc was finally won when I said she is more likely to hurt herself when she's in this rage every afternoon/evening that any tumble she might have!!! Plus it isn't fair to her or the staff to have to put up with this every day when there is something that might help!
Nothing about this disease is easy but meds can make a difference.
Personally I don't think MC needs to be calling you..but maybe your mom is insisting on talking to you. And that's why they are calling you? They are supposed to be trained to handle sundowners. I hope you are able to get some answers and relief.
He only called me once late in the evening and I presume he insisted he had to talk to me or they would have gotten him redirected. He was agitated because he needed money - now. My answer was that it was late and the bank was closed but I would bring the money first thing the next morning hoping/knowing that he wouldn't remember and of course he didn't call the next morning. I never considered it lying, just visiting his delusion and provide comfort to his agitation.
it’s really helped her.
There are times when my husband goes through the sundowners syndrome and wants to come home, but I have been telling him about Covid and it is not allowed at this time. By morning he forgets the conversation and is just happy to talk to me. I did get upset at one time when the facility gave me no option but to move him to another facility because of his anger episode. If their staff would have watched him more closely during that time, my opinion they could have medicated him and gotten it under control.
Point is, make sure your facility has qualified and experienced staff working with your loved one. Too many people in the medical field and home care fields are there just for a paycheck, and not caring at all.
Good luck to you. Please advise your facility to have them contact their RN first before calling you to make the decisions.
1000 MG. DROPPER OF CBD OIL.
Under the tongue or
In a drink.
Around 30 min before sundowners usually starts.
Make sure it is flavored . Hemp taste is aweful.
No side effects, can not overdose.
WORK WONDERS
Since your sweet momma is feeling out of sorts, her doctor can prescribe anti-anxiety medication that can help her to relax. Some folks swear by marijuana products, but I tend to shy away from natural medications since there are no controls in their manufacture. There is no way of knowing the strength of those products and if there are contaminants that would interfere with her other medications. Please talk to her doctor about her behavior.
The facility should know how to deal with this also. Check out Teepa Snow on YouTube, she has lots of videos/podcasts & strategies on when they say, "I want to go home"..very enlightening!
I know what you're going through! Sounds like my mom's situation. She's in stage 4/5 and Sundowners' hits at the same time too. My mom would be very combative since she's very still very strong. (Caregiver would get bruises!) She would accuse CG of "beating her up", when it was the other way around.
After many pleas with Geriatrician & many visits to the ER, (UTI checks, etc.) Dr. finally agreed to add additional meds: gabapenten & depakote. The nurse checks in with CG once a month for behavior updates too.
Mom still has Sundowners, despite all her meds, but the CG still calls me to "distract & talk to her". Sometimes it helps for only a little while.
Please do all you can to get help for mom's anxiety, Alz or Dementia is progressive, and agitation isn't safe for them or anyone else.
Sending hugs ((())) !
this sounds really strange but i have have had an occasional problem for about the last 40 years or so with the outside color change at dusk even when im inside looking out. Ive just tried to ignore it but it’s been hard sometimes if ive had to be outside.
well i read not long ago about a nursing home someplace that closes the patients curtains and turns on lights a couple hours before dusk.
so simple !
does it work with everyone ? I dont know. It’s simple to try tho and doesnt cost money.
good luck