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I live 600 miles away, but visit often. How do I go about making arrangements for this assessment? My mother says my dad has Alzheimer's-- he does have some severe memory loss at time. You cannot make my mother happy, no matter how hard you try. I think she has anxiety and depression issues.

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Mom has vascular dementia, but according to her, she is fine and the whole rest of the facility is losing it. Move very slowly, go with Mom to the MD and insist he start her on anxiety meds and do "a complete physical", while informing him ahead of time what you really mean. Dad's memory loss might just be from taking care of her. Caregiving drains memory circuits.
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Is there a geriatric psychiatrist who comes to the facility, or is there one nearby you could take them to?
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WIndyridge, I lived 3200 miles away, so I sure understand the issue. I hired a nurse case manager. There are these people in most towns who specialize in looking out after the welfare of seniors when the family lives elsewhere. I credit her with saving my Mom's life more than once. She used her extensive knowledge of nursing homes, of geriatric issues, and her considerable dose of charm and genuine regard for Mom to get her to do the things that needed to be done. She was expensive, but so worth the money. She also knew when the nursing home was attempting to mistreat Mom and got after them big time. She was my knowing eyes and ears on site. Plus, that charm would go a long way toward getting Pops to do what you want him to. Check with elder care attorney's offices to see who they recommend and check references thoroughly before you lay out the $. But so worth it.
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From your profile, it sounds like your mother has already been diagnosed with Alzheimer's/Dementia. Whoever assessed her can assess your dad. Call their doctor and make them an appointment for when you can be there to go with them.
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All good advice. I'm also 600 miles from my parents and dealing with similar issues. I'd be interested as to how you deal with elder care long distance. In my dads case, with dementia, he refuses any kind of testing or evaluation and refuses to allow me to accompany him to doc appointments, so we just roll with him the best we can. So far, we're making things work. We I say we, it's me and mom. I'm POA and sole caregiver for both.
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Should read, "when I say we".
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I made apppointments by phone to get my mom to a comprehensive geriatric eval at the Benedum center in Pgh PA, though I live in Little Rock AR, did my travel arrangements accordingly, and somehow we got it done. She did not take any of their advice to heart, but it gave me a lot of peace of mind and a more objective view than I had before so my decisions were a lot clearer and less guilt-ridden. I did not do as well with having a geriatric care manager accompany her to a medical appointment that I could not arrange to attend with her though, but at least she got there and a couple PAD procedures she needed got done without me having to physically be there. Long distance caregiving really bites sometimes, but with enough effort may be workable. I wish you well!
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