APS called my husband's cell phone asking to speak with my mom. We told her that is not possible as she lives in a board and care and has dementia/ALZ. The person rudely said that she would be the judge of that. We asked her what this is about and she said she couldn't tell me unless we had a POA. We told her we did. She said if we faxed it over she would tell us. We then stopped the conversation because we really didn't know if she was truly from APS. She gave us her supervisor's number to look up and check and she was telling the truth.
I was going to send the POA, but decided to run it by my friend who places elderly loved ones in board and cares, advocates for seniors etc. Loves her job and has 15 years experience. Also all 3 of us taught at the same school together 20 years ago. Needless to say, she knows my character well, as well as my mom's, and has been with us every step of the way.
So the dilemma is we are ALL moving cross country (1800 miles) in 8 days. We have been planning the move for a year so we can be near my husband's huge family. We are pretty much packed up.
She called again today and left a message saying she wanted my mom's board and care address to see if it is in her jurisdiction. If it wasn't she would use an Ombudsman. She also said the only number she had was my husband's and would like my number. She was also waiting for the POA.
My friend I referenced above said I should not do anything except FAX them and tell them I don't feel comfortable giving this info and would like a certified letter in the mail with a case number.
Does anybody have an opinion about this situation?
With your knowing NOTHING at all, and not being given ANYTHING at all, I would give them EXACTLY what they asked for, the POA but I would tell her that you are NOT comfortable sending this POA on a fax to a phone number you cannot insure is a safe number or verify. I would tell her you would like a certified letter requesting the POA. And I would explain you are in the process of moving. If the letter doesn't arrive in a timely manner it will require forwarding to you. And quite honestly I would inform the Board and Care, especially if Mom is staying on. I would not give this woman the Board and Care until you have a certified letter that PROVES that this is Adult Protective Services. Tell them that when they have the POA your HUSBAND can be called to discuss any complaint. That until then you cannot give out private personal information about your mother legally; she is in a fragile state and prey to scams, etc. Simply tell them that with the level of scamming going on now (they are now scamming about Covid-19, claiming that you were exposed and need tests; your cost, you pay and send them money; it's endless) you are naturally suspicious.
To my mind whomever made this complaint, IF it involves your Mom, would already know where your Mom is, right? This just doesn't smell right to me somehow. It's really confusing. Today anyone can pose as anyone, supply a call for you to verify stuff and have another person posing to verify. I am of a suspicious nature, so just saying, I am very careful. Hope you update us.
Something is just very suspicious about all of this.
In case anyone is wondering why I was investigated, my aunt's bank was P.O.'d because I moved her money to another bank, so they called APS on me.
Me, I would call APS directly from a number in the phone book or online. Not something this person gave you. If its verified that the person does work there, ask for the Supervisor. Explain that you are in the process of moving and Mom will be going with you. (I am assuming she is when you say you ALL are moving) That she, for now is being very well cared for. That you have POA to make all decisions for her. They can't tell u who filed the complaint.
Even with POA, she may decline to be moved.
You stated "He does have my husband's cell and had left a message in March asking to connect him and my mom." AND "She...said the only number she had was my husband's".
Is it possible that the woman is a friend of your brother's trying to get more information for your brother so that he can talk to your Mother? Or is it possible that your brother contacted APS to prevent you from moving your Mother out-of-state?
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My Mom became nonverbal and refused to perform any ADLs for a couple of months (which was the reason for her being admitted to the hospital and then the LTC facility) after her brother and sister died within a month of each other, [plus several of her friends had died or were admitted to LTC or AL facilities the previous 6+ months also.]
COVID lockdown has resulted in loss of interactions between residents and their families and friends. It is possible that your Mom became nonverbal because that is the only way she knows how to cope with the COVID lockdown and the move to another part of the country. Is your Mom leaving behind several friends or organizations that she used to participate in by moving? What are your plans if your Mom refuses to move with you and your husband?
I'd ignore the calls if it was me. They can contact you through proper channels -- in person or by mail or email.
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