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In the last week or two my mother has been eating less and less each day. She won't even try to eat. She has two cans of ensure a day, which comes to 700 calories, but that's not enough to sustain her. She won't even try to eat. I've got all the foods she likes around, but to no avail. Help. Does anyone have any suggestions?

The doctor says it's the stress of my father's being ill, which I think is the case, but she is positive something's wrong and that she's going to die before he does. He's 95 and she's 88. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

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I can understand why she doesn't feel like eating. I'd be the same way. But encourage her by telling her she needs to try to stay around for her husband. She may have decided subconsciously that she'd rather die first - it's hard to tell.

Try to tempt her with easy foods - fruits, ice cream, jello - anything that has some calories but doesn't take effort to digest.

You could check with a local dietician at a nursing home or hospital for more suggestions, but her doctor seems to have it pegged. You can't force her to eat. Don't pressure her or it could get worse. But temp her the best you can and keep in touch with the doctor.
Carol
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I don't know how to get her to eat, it's hard. I know stress can do that and I am 1/2 your mother's age. I got down to 98 pounds at one point. Sometimes having small children around my Mom helps sometimes. We kind of use the kids/babies to coax her through a meal and it is fun. Her doctor told us Carnation Instant Breakfast with WHOLE milk is good to add calories, don't know if she would like that. Some add ice cream to it as well.

Would her doctor try an anti-depressant on her? Some of them make you VERY hungry.

Sorry not much help.
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My Mom eats best when we take her to a buffet. Don't know if it's the change of scenery or all the choices, or both. I know it's not a long term solution, but if it worked a couple days a week it may be worth it, also she may choose things off the buffet that you could buy for her to have at home. I know mom will always eat jello and chocolate meringue pie. Good Luck.
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My Grandmother is 90 and we are having a tough time getting her to eat....she was always a big eater and now she won't eat she says she has no appetite and nothing appeals to her...we try to tell her she needs to eat or she'll end up in the hospital.. she will get very angry when we tell her....people are telling us its part of old age....some days she will drink 2 ensures some days only one some days she will have a half cup of soup or just toast...is this normal....also she sleeps 90% of the time she has congestive heart failure
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It may be that she needs company to really eat. My mother has lost interest in eating also. She is 87. But, if I make a point of taking her out and having food there when I visit, she will eat well. I live 4 hrs from her, but visit every other weekend. Also bring snacks - they don't have to be high nutrition at this age, just high calories. They all seem to have a sweet tooth at this age. Unless there is a medical condition, let them eat whatever strikes their fancy. They have lived this long - snacks won't hurt!
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MY Mother is also 88. My Dad is younger 85 and is a great cook. He fixes her whatever she wants and still won't eat. I bring food she likes and she still doesn't eat. she is down to 103. When we tell her she will end up in the hospital she doesn't seem to care. My Dad is so worried and does everything for her. WE have talk to Doctors, Nurses etc no one has any answers. She is on an anti depressent pill. She always has some excuse made up in her head as to why she isn't hungry. Wish we also knew what to do.
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Thanks for this thread, everyone. Is refusal to eat really a normal part of old age? (I've been going nuts trying to get my 88-year-old father to eat something besides sugar. ) And can anyone explain the idea of calories being more important than nutritional value? How does that work? Does it mean Dad really *can* just live on cinnamon buns & Boost?

peace,
elizabeth
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Hi--I am in my late 50's, and have taken care of my mother for 12 years---she is now 88. A few years after her stroke she suddenly stopped eating anything. Her mind was not affected but her speech was terribly compromised and she couldn't do anything except gesture towards her mouth. I was assured by doctors that this was her way of "getting ready to die" etc-----but I did not get any sense of that.
FINALLY one doctor, to whom I shall always be grateful took a look at her meds and said, "Oh, I see she's taking (whatever it was); sometimes that can make food taste bad. Let's get her off of it." BOOM! In three days she was eating---not huge amounts, but small amounts of healthy food. Get the doctors to go over her meds with you REALLY CAREFULLY. Too many doctors don't especially want to deal with old people and will dismiss their complaints as "just part of being old." NEVER accept that as an answer. Hugs and good luck to you!
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Rachel, if your mother thinks there's something wrong, then I'd check that out first. It's been my experience with my own mother, she knows her body and when she said she was sick, she was right.
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Try not to worry about how much she eats. Make things that smell really good to her, or that remind her of good times in the past. Between talking and the smells, she might eat more and feel happier.
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Oh, dear, Rachel...this is a battle we've fought what seems like forever with my mother-in-law. We've tried it allllll! She absolutely will not drink ANY shake of any kind, Ensure, Boost...we've even tried the fruit juice Boost and she doesn't like it. We have a hard enough time getting her to drink water!!! My heart goes out to you on this particular matter. We have found that giving her less, along and along...whether you want to call it a snack. She likes to nibble on nuts...almonds, walnuts, etc. Crackers; crackers and cheese. Essentially, we've just started giving her less. If she looks at a "dinner plate" (or a FULL meal on a plate), I believe she just gets totally overwhelmed...so we use a "salad" plate and make her what equates to a child's meal...even at that, she will usually eat half. She will usually eat HALF of whatever we give her. We keep a box of chocolates by her chair and every now and then she'll open it and get a piece. We've discussed with her doctor and he says to just keep doin' what we are doin'...she seems to be maintaining her weight (even though it's at an all-time low)...and, too, because she is now sedentary, she doesn't need as many calories because she's not moving around and burning them up. I feel for you and I believe it's a common phenomenon among us caregivers--trying to get our loved one to eat and/or drink. Hang in there...you just can't force her to eat. As someone said earlier, you can explain to her that she needs nourishment to keep herself healthy and alive for your father (if she won't do it for herself!). Good luck!
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My mom's neurologist told us to give her 4 ounces of wine before a meal, this simulates the appetite, but you probably need to check with their doctor first if they are on any medications. You can also make different recipes for smoothies, just google smoothies, breakfast smoothies, some of them have whey protein powder as one of the ingredients there are even ones that use vegetables and nuts in them. I hope this might help some of you.









goo
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On the previous post I stated 4 ounces of wine, but you may not want to give them that much, so try only 1 or 2 ounces instead. But again check with their doctor first if they are on any type of medications or any other questions concerning this.
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I remember my grandmother saying that when she was alone, she didn't see the point of eating or fixing meals. When she had company for dinner, she would eat just fine.
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There is a pill for this. Why am I NOT surprised? There is a pill for everything. Call her primary care doc and tell him/her.
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I had a period when I really did not want to eat anything. I'm smart enough to know I had to get some calories in and I was not at all suicidal so I found a few things I could force myself to eat. One of them was canned fruit in jars sold in the refrigerator section. I also choked down high protein bars though I hated them. (My problem turned out to be undiagnosed diabetes, and when that finally got resolved I could eat again.) My point is just that if you can discover ANYTHING that the person will eat, go with it, even if it isn't fully nutrious, even if it is expensive, even if you have to go halfway across town to get it.

When my husband (dementia, 85) is having a down day and doesn't want to eat he will almost always take a milk shake which I make with ice cream, milk, and Carnation Instant Breakfast -- sometimes adding peanut butter, bannana or other fruit. He will not consider Boost or Ensure, but milkshakes are fine. He also likes V8 juice over ice.
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Greetings all,
I seem to have the oldest care-receiver in this thread, my FIL is 95 and has dropped from 136 lbs last August to 99.4 as of this morning. He is just not that hungry. He is on hospice and we suspect at the rate he is going it will be from now to 2 months. I have tried milk shakes, but he is not interested in those. He will drink high protein Boost and muscle Ensure, but not enough. In his case, I have stopped worrying but I DO document it for the hospice nurse. I will offer food, but I have to try very hard not to respond in a negative or pushy way if he does not want it. I have not tried the Carnation Instant Breakfast, I'll look into it - thanks for the tip!
A few things I have found out about the elders - the sense of smell diminishes, along with the sense of taste. Also texture and amount of liquid (too little) can be a factor as well. Saliva glands work differently and meds (mentioned by someone as well) can affect taste and smell, as well as the ability to chew the food and swallow it. Best to all,
Evpraxia
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Took my Husband to the doctor for same reason, he has really stopped eating and drinking anything much. some days worse than others. He has AlZ and the doctor said he could put him in hospital and put a feeding tube in. No way he did not want that. so doctor says let him eat what he will and dont force it. He says at the rate Husband is going he only has weeks to months to live. Body is shutting down but he does not sleep well. Never naps during day just sits and looks at floor. I tried getting him out but he does not like to be outside. He is not doing anything but waiting I guess to die. Pray for us
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54j my heart goes out to you at this difficult time. Do you have the comfort of hospice help?
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No hospice came but I really want to do it myself as long as i can. I really dont understand how he could be able to walk with no more than he is eating and drinking. He walks slow and unsteady but walks none the less. I just pray he will go in his sleep and the Lord will go ahead and take him this is not living for him he is just here.
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If he reaches a point where he is pain, hospice can be especially helpful.
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Sometimes Prozac can stimulate appetite. May not gain weight but will maintain it. My mom with dementia got down to 75 pounds, then went on Prozac and now enjoys eating and has gained 3 pounds, which is pretty good for someone 87.
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My Mom is 88yrs old . weight is 58.5 pounds it scare me . we try to get her eat.no she hungry. she drinks 1 ensure wt gain one. Eats very little and drinks water. nothing taste good to her. she not on any meds expect for reflux. In January she 77 pounds.
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