My wife's memory is such that I can leave the room for only a few minutes and she panics wanting to know where I am. I need some device where she can see me and I can see her without her having to push any buttons, which she can't see or remember how to do.
You could install cameras inside the house and have a CC (closed circuit) TV. Just like the ones in stores to watch for shoplifting. You’d need the CCTV in every room, and that could get expensive. And I’m not certain how easy it is to find someone to install all of it for you.
There’s the Google Home and Alexa devices, which have cameras in them but they don’t have a lot of range. And the screens are small and would be hard to see a person on it.
But, would this even work for her? Her seeing you on a screen isn’t the same as you being there in the room with her. In her mind, the screen could be you in the house, OR you’re across the world somewhere. Either way you’re not in the room with her.
Consider initiating a video call with her before you leave the room so she can see you?
I agree with BarbBrooklyn, that maybe time to consider meds for anxiety, however, my very elderly Aunt with dementia was on meds and it didn't change this particular behavior.
with Alexa or one of the other devices you could talk to her but she would be unable to see you.
You might want to try a timer.
Tell her honey, I am going to put the laundry in I will be back before this "dings". Set either a timer or a phone. Set yours as well so that you will see the countdown and be back by the time the timer goes off.
One of the "problems" is the loss of time. (a day could be perceived as a week, a month, a year) You could be gone for a minute and it will seem like 10 to her.
Have you looked into Adult Day Program for her? Of getting a caregiver in to help "you"? Adult Day program would keep her occupied in a safe place. It would give you a break. A caregiver will eventually give her another "trusted" person that she knows will be there for her when she needs help. It can take a bit of time for her to get used to relying on another person but it is important for both of you.
I am thinking that our persons we care for should be best included in the activities of daily life, (and as long as possible). For example, brought to the table to eat. Get up, maybe dressed daily. A routine followed. Dressed for bed.
It may be more work for the caregiver. Not as easy as it sounds though.
I am sympathetic.
Learning great distraction techniques can also help you.
I've seen this many times when the main caregiver is out of sight. Even if they HEAR the caregiver say I'm going to the bathroom, I'll be 3 minutes, they cannot FEEL the time. Out of sight is just GONE & they get afraid.
You could try setting up a facetime call with a tablet & phone (if you have). For a trial? It it worked, maybe look into a cheaper camera set up system.
I have seen a family member panic when the caregiver left the room. Calling out "come here come here" despite the caregiver saying they were going to the bathroom & only just left the room.
In that particular case, I doubt seeing the person on a screen, putting the kettle on, doing the laundry etc would help. As it would not meet the need for direct attention/interaction. Not soothe the fear of feeling alone.
I suspect a video image *may* work better if the face was up close & the person was actively communicating. Like presenting a tv cooking show, cooking & talking.
Actually, I've seen tv cooking shows work to reduce anxiety (if the presenter talks directly to camera).
Talking to a camera all day is going to get old real quick for a caregiver.. also, of course the caregiver may like a little privacy in the bathroom!
Sometimes a doll or teddy bear can provide company & be the loved trustable companion. That may be worth a trial too?
Kind thoughts to you today.