I'm starting to lose hope and wanting to give up on a specific tricky situation.
So basically, I live with my grandfather who is 92 years old, Fully disabled veteran, and recently about a year ago, he had a woman move in to be his caregiver and she decided to bring her entire family of 3 with her, along with her sons wife and their 2 children as well. (total of 6) From my understand they made an agreement in which if she comes in-home and helps take care of him, that she gets to live rent free and have privleges of the house. Now here's the tricky part, in the beginning they were nothing but great for my grandfathers care as I witnessed it, then as time went on, frustration was starting to come & they started lacking the same type of energy they had when moving in. So once they settled in and became comftorable, they began to treat my grandfather EXTREMELY horrible, ignoring him, taunting him, making a joke of him in groups, (nobody pays a dime, maybe internet bill) in which whatever that was the agreement I "guess". Here's where things start to get a little suspicious. My grandfather started having fraudulent activity on his account (checks were being wrote out in his name), & so they had set it up to where the caregiver was in charge of his checks & if he wantd something, or wanted to give a family member money he would have to go to her and she would sign/write out the check herself. So basically she managed the checks. NOW, Theres more fraudulant activity happening on his account AGAIN, except this time, the caregiver is claiming that the bank and adult protective services is saying hes not allowed to have access to his money AT ALL. That she is in complete control over everything, paying the bills, paying his sams club credit card, EVERYTHING and hes not allowed to manage his money. So it raised awareness with me if that's even possible because it's deffinetly not what he wants, comes to find out she's now the power of attorney, she gets his house, posessions, EVERYTHING when he dies and her names on his bank account and all. We went down to the bank to request a bank statement just to see what's been going on what kind of activity, and theres all sorts of charges. She's spending money to herself (500$ zelle transfer). She's paying multiple T-mobile charges (my grandfather doesn't even have tmobile) Etc. When she finds out I took him to the bank to request a statement, she completely flipped out and caused a huge scene. So I called APS and opened a new case and have yet to recieve anything back over 2 weeks now, I've made multiple calls and nobody has investigated yet. She now is aware of my actions and is trying to cover her tracks, how do I explain? She will talk professional and seem so sweet, then turn around and give me a smirk and a evil smile.
I'm running out of options here on what to do its blowing my mind.
Is this legal? The bank told me he came in there and signed a paper giving her this power, and he sat there confused not knowing what's even going on. He says "idk I signed a paper but I don't know what it is I'm signing. I can't hear or see shit"
Remember, he is 100% disabled and being manipulated by this lady, she's become completely money hungry and now that shes aware of action being made, shes now talking him into selling this home and going out to buy a different one. I can't leave my grandpa like this vulnerable, He is afraid I can see it, he doesn't like conflict and is very passive with the her criminal behavior.
WHAT CAN I DO?! even if he doesn't take full action is there anything I can do? The bank statements literally speak for itself!!! Is this not against the law?!
This will all take some time.
At least a month. Perhaps he could be housed in an ALF while this is going on. Now that you are on to her she will escalate her activities. Get his finances protected ASAP.
Where is your parent, your grandfather's child? Are you in touch, is your parent in touch with his/her parent?
I'm trying to picture the living circumstances that could have made it seem like a good idea, one year ago, for a family of six to move in with a man of over 90. What led up to this? Did he or you or anyone check this lady and her family out before she was invited to move in? Where did she come from?
What are your grandfather's health and social care needs? How were they being met before?
"Fully disabled" doesn't actually tell us much. What are your grandfather's disabilities? Are they physical, mental, both?
How long have you been living in your grandfather's house?
What I'm trying to avoid asking is - where were you while all this was going on?
Stop thinking of this woman as evil. It doesn't help. Your grandfather has got himself, or has been allowed to get himself, into a situation which is obviously a terrible idea. If APS haven't yet done anything about it, it means one of two things: either the situation is such a can of worms it's taking them ages to untangle it; or it hasn't been coherently reported to them.
Either way, do this: sit down and write out a time line giving dates, events and facts. No "evil smirks" or "treat him horribly" remarks, just documented facts. For example, to start you off:
Background: grandfather's date of birth, service record, medical history and known disabilities.
April 2019 grandfather advertises for housekeeper (or whatever happened).
May 2019 Lady Macbeth recruited, contract signed, agreement as follows (then list the main terms of the agreement).
July - list of unexplained activity on bank account
August - ditto
September - ditto
October 2019 - appointment with neurologist, diagnosis of x
November 2019 - grandfather creates power of attorney appointing Lady M.
and so on.
Then you will be able to see clearly what has gone on, and you will be able to share the information clearly with APS.
Of COURSE it is not legal for an elderly disabled veteran to be financially exploited (not to say robbed blind) and emotionally abused by people who live with him, whether or not they are supposed to be professional caregivers. But where is everybody else who is supposed to be protecting him? - failing to communicate, it seems, that's where. So begin by getting the information straight, and prepare to be persistent.
My parents are disceased and i lived with my grandfather for 3 months before the caregiver moved in.
I had a young family and was going through a divorce, he at the same time, was living with his ex wife & her extended family here in his home. He didnt like the circumstances and wanted them gone and didnt know how, He reached out to me to come in and help him with the process of removing them which i did, i then moved into a room & he seeked different care, which is his caregiver now. The plan was for me to move out once she came in, however once she was in, i started having a difficult time on finding another place to move to, which turned into me extending my stay & as time progressed i started to notice abnormal behaviors and didnt want to leave him in this mess he got himself into.
Im not saying hes an angel, he isnt incoheirent however hes extremely gullable and easily manipulated, you can tell him the sky is falling and he'd believe it, anyways.. not sure how that really relates to my question of is what shes doing legal?
Her relationship to him is his ex wifes, daughters friend from when they were children (30+ years ago) & i personally have never heard of her.
There is NO other immediate family except for myself.
This man is difficult to deal with.. I dont even know his exact diagnosis so when i say fully disabled, i mean he obtains full disability from the VA, There's countless numbers of things wrong with him.
This is going off topic and going around my question.
i asked ,
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR HIM TO BE CUT OFF FROM HIS OWN BANK AND HIS CAREGIVER BE THE ONLY ONE HAVING ACCESS TO HIS MONEY.
IS IT LEGAL FOR HER TO TAKE AN ELDERLY MAN, THE MAN SHE CAREGIVES FOR INTO THE BANK AND PERSUADE HIM TO SIGN HER AS THE POA
WHAT ACTIONS CAN BE MADE WITH PROOF OF BANK STATEMENTS SHOWING THAT SHE IS SPENDING HIS MONEY ON PERSONAL USE (when she is only supposed to be managing it)
WILL APS TAKE ACTION AND LAY DOWN THE HAMMER JUST ON BANK STATEMENTS SHOWING THAT, ALONE?
*HE DOES NOT APPROVE OF THE PAYMENTS BEING MADE UNDER HIS ACCOUNT*
Thank you
he doesnt want them out he wants back control of his own money, Can whats being done actually really be done?
he doesnt see through whats happening hes oblivious, and in the time of her living here she even has become a notary.. that itself is questionable?? kinda random if u ask me...
is there any way that an outside party such as myself prosecute even if he doesnt? shes a CRIMINAL
It isn't legal, no, to exploit and steal money from anyone, let alone a vulnerable elder. But you do need to demonstrate that the elder is vulnerable, or failing that he needs to be the one complaining. Is he complaining?
You can show that her POA is invalid because he was not capable of creating one. To do that, you would have to show that he was mentally incompetent when the POA was given to her.
For it to be legal to prevent him from accessing his own account, the caregiver would have to have a springing DPOA and be exercising it on his behalf having demonstrated that he is legally incompetent.
If the complaint is abuse of POA, you can report that. You can probably find out how on the state's own website - try searching "abuse of POA." But again, if your grandfather won't uphold the complaint, and says it's all good, you're not going to get very far.
The "leaving her all his possessions" part - that means he's made a will, right? Have you seen it? Who witnessed it?
Again looking on the website, you might be able to find out guidelines about how long APS expects to take to respond to a report; and then, at the moment, double it. I imagine they're all working from home too.
You do need to know what his disabilities are if you are going to present a complaint on his behalf on the grounds that he is disabled. Sensory disabilities - deafness, blindness - matter as well because to rely on anything he signed the person relying on it would have to show that he had been fully informed about what he was signing.
There are probably advocacy services you could contact, see if they can advise.
What do you want to happen? What would be a good outcome?
Then I would put a care plan together, so that he is not left hanging. I would put it in writing with costs and details.
Then I would call and report her to the police. I would tell them that she is financially exploiting him and using threats and intimidation to keep him from saying anything.
You can show them that he is being manipulated, her entire family being there shows that they have moved in on him.
Be very sure that he is not playing you. Some people love the chaos and games of a situation like this and they are saying 2 different things to each side. It is hard to believe that someone we love could be doing this, but please be prepared for anything. You may have to let him lose everything and suffer the consequences, just prepare yourself for the worse case scenario.
Have you seen anything in writing from APS, the bank or anyone else? If not, I would take that to mean it isn't true. She is obviously trying to get his money and assets, but he may be complicit.
Best of luck. Hopefully the police get them out of there and quickly. I hope that your granddad isn't playing games with you.
Edit: your local area on aging, aka council on aging can help you find the proper authorities to report this and get help.
He states that he DOESN'T want this woman to leave her caregiving role.
I agree with CM that you are going to need to present a more coherent picture of what is going on to APS; it sounds as though grandparents WANTS this woman to be his POA.
How is she being paid? Does grandpa have a formal written agreement with her?
If he wants to change POA to another party, he can do so. Take him to see an eldercare attorney and have him do so.
Your profile says that the person you are caring for is 25; that's why we asked.