What do you do if person does not shower or wash and is going to visit people. She is going to a luncheon with people she has gone to lunch with once a year for years. She is refusing to have a shower. She gets nasty is you tell her she stinks. She has an appointment with doctor the day before and an appointment to get hair cut. What can we do so there is not a fight? I have tried to say I will be there when she has a shower but she refuses. She says she is too scared to shower. Help. The luncheon is next week. She is going on ferry and staying over night at son-in-laws place so she can go to lunch.
get a bathing bench or bedside commode chair to go into the shower. If she is afraid that will help. Make her feel more secure.
Once you get it firmly established that there will be regular showers, she’ll get mad when the aide is late.
Dont let her in your car without her being clean.
You are in control.