What do you do when your father refuses to go to the dr, refuses to take medication for diabetes, heart issues, etc., showing signs of dementia and now extreme paranoia. Every time I talk to him, he asks me to call about cameras being installed in his house to check to see if the neighbor has put dogs in there and now wants a fence to make sure everything is kept out. So at a loss of what to do.
Good luck.
Is he able to call a contractor and have a fence put up?
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IF you do not have POA please consider NOT assuming it. I sadly made this recommendation to all here as I was POA and Trustee for a very organized, loving, mostly with it, very cooperative brother and it was STILL hard. To manage for someone who has other things happening? Impossible. You currently cannot even guess if you are dealing with a UTI or a serious dementia.
What support system do you currently have?
I agree with the advice given to you to report him to APS. They deal with this issue all the time.
Please get him to neurologist to have him tested for dementia. The paranoia is a big sign that he needs help. I'm not sure how to help with the not taking his meds. My dad refused to use his steroid eye drops and now he is blind. But you can't rationalize with someone who has dementia. If you know that he is suffering from some form of dementia, then get him to a hospital, even if you have to call the ambulance yourself. Once in the emergency room you can hopefully get the nurses to call in a neurologist and the hospital can send him to a nursing home. It sounds harsh but it was the only way my parents were going to go into a senior facility. They were completely unsafe in their home. Now almost a year later, my dad is actually content in the nursing home. My mom has gotten sicker but at least she has medication for her symptoms and she needed to be placed. She was dangerous to herself and to my dad.
Not all nursing homes are bad. There are many that are just fine. Not the answer for everyone, but it has helped my family.
Best of luck.
Did you know that Metformin can cause serious issues. It was recalled at one time because people were dying from it. They found there was a cancerous concern due to the levels of NDMA. I believe it was mainly from the drugs sourced from other countries (like China).
Also many issues with extreme joint pain. To the point where people who where on it had scheduled knee surgery, but after getting off of the drug ....the pain stopped. They cancelled the surgery!
That is just one example. There are also holistic options that do actually work. Even something as simple as dandelion root for diabetes or beet juice for blood pressure. There have even been some studies to show coffee can help reduce your risk of dementia.
Many people with dementia show behavioral disturbances as an expression of distress caused by boredom and loneliness. Structured and unstructured activities go a long way in enhancing their quality of life.
This grey zone between safely & happily independant & no longer coping & caretakers required.
Vlad's tale below is told well & the common sense shines through. Like that, it may take a few rounds of 'crises' to effect change.
Also, as many posters have found, refusing help does not mean they don't NEED help. Even the stubborn have accept help & change.. eventually.
Look up the term Anosognosia. That might be apt for your situation.
Not saying your Father has any of that, but stuff to read.
Heart problems can increase risk for Vascular Dementia. It's harder to pick up (imho) as memory can be quite good. Judgement & reasoning seem to be effected early. Other brain problems like LBD can present with hallucinations as earlier symptoms.
Paranoia symptoms are present in many types of dementia or on it's own. Poor kidney fuction can have effect on cognitive. Diabetes effects kidneys I think?
I hope you can get your Father to have a medical checkup to start some investigation.
You can contact your State's Elder Abuse hotline number. Lack of self care and neglect is reportable.
If he is on medications he must be seeing a doctor or he would not be able to get refills. You could contact the doctors office and express your concerns if he does have "x" number of refills before the doctor care reorder the medications they could make him come in to see the doctor.
If you are not his HIPAA forms they can not give you information but they can take the information that you give them,.
BUT..unfortunately if you are not POA, if you are not listed as being able to get information from his doctor all you can do is wait until something happens and then you can TRY top convince medical staff that he is not safe at home alone and that you are not able to care for him 24/7
Whether or not you SHOULD depends upon the circumstances.
If not are they suddenly worse ?
He could have something else going on if the behavior is sudden , like an infection .
Or if the behavior is not new but has suddenly gotten worse he could have a UTI or some other infection , or even a stroke.
Call APS if you can’t get him to the ER.
My sister lives with her son and she had been having some dementia symptoms , but went totally paranoid , he called EMS. It turned out she had sepsis , pneumonia , and metabolic encephalopathy .