What happens if my 98-year-old mother in memory care out lives her money? All she has is money from sale of condo and social security.

JeffreyPrince...Medicare can be billed for large medical bills, other health care is out of pocket and affordable and she has a good pension to cover the cost. It's much cheaper in the long run than navigating the gauntlet at home. My parents had permanent residency and I'm getting temporary residency in order to be her full-time caregiver. Cost of living is low, year round temperatures are 70-80. She's so much happier now that she has this to look forward to.

Alva, I know where I'm going and what kind of care she will receive. Nothing but excellent reviews from ex-pats and about $2700 a month for every level of care up to hospice. Three residents to every staff member. My mom and dad had it picked out as a best option before my dad passed. They have a physician, a physical therapist and a psychologist on staff and healers of every type in town -- acupuncturists, herbalists -- and one woman whose life purpose it is to help people "live with joy and die in peace".

If you believe you have no other choices, accept that as fact...ok. That's a choice. What I am encouraging people to do is to get creative. There are other options. My mom wants nothing to do with assisted living here and is actually excited about this place. She and my dad lived in that town for 10+ years before he passed and it's more home to her than any place else. As with any other choice we make for our LO...do the research. But I'm also suggesting people think outside the box. We are so programmed to believe we have the best and brightest but there are other cultures who care deeply about family and the elderly who can do the job, and some much better, at a fraction of the cost.

Poster isn’t here. Check her profile. The kitty is on her page.

This country’s “care”system is criminal. I’m taking my mom out of the country where they have assisted living memory care and hospice at 1/3 of the price should she ever need it. Not letting these people burn through my parents’ hard-earned money. She will be happier there anyway.

I toured a few MC units in CA to get an idea of where I would put my dad if it comes to that. He would be self-pay but they all said that they accept Medicaid if his assets ran out. These are really nice facilities dedicated to MC alone. No AL section, just dedicated MC. He would have to live a very long time to burn through all his assets as he owns a few homes, but you never know.

As others have chimed in, please consult with a CERTIFIED eldercare attorney regarding money issues. S/he can help get your mom qualified for Medicaid. But please note that not all memory cares accept Medicaid. If the current MC does not accept Medicaid, your mom may have to move out. I am praying that she doesn’t have to, because moving is traumatic for people with dementia. Good luck to you and your family.

I helped a lady friend (already on social security) after a broken hip surgery at the hospital go into a nursing home for rehabilitation. Her therapy lasted six weeks and they could not improve her condition more than that. She would always be in a wheelchair due to deteriorating bones. While in the rehabilitation/nursing home, the hospital social services in coordination with the nursing home social services got her transitioned from short term care to long term care after therapy ended. They also got her on Medicaid because she made under a thousand dollars a month-although she did own her home and had no mortgage. She went in and out of four different surgeries for two years. After each time that she came home, Social Services would end her long term care in the rehabilitation/nursing home facilities. Her insurance would cover so many months of long term care each time she went in. While she was in the nursing home after her last surgical procedure, I wrote to Social Services headquarters saying that she would return home once she had recovered. (She had contracted Covid from the hospital and almost died after the procedure). This letter prevented Social Services from using her home as collateral or taking it for any payment. She improved a bit for awhile and the Nursing Home was trying to set up some home care through her Medicaid after her discharge. There was a long waiting list. I believe it was due to Covid. I am not sure if it is much better now. Her health would go up and down some, but she was mostly declining in health and mind. She would always yell out to the nurses. I want to go home! I had already had POA, Medical Directive, and a Will on her a few years prior. The Nursing Facility decided to send her home after nine months. I agreed to help her some. Three weeks before being released, she contracted the Norovirus. She stopped eating almost completely and passed away three weeks before her planned discharge. If she had lived, the funds in the bank would have had to be spent down to keep her in the facility. She did have some, but we had to use it towards a deductible for a bad flood in the home and to make her home more livable with her water and septic situation. In my letter to Social Services, I also explained about her unacceptable living conditions in her home and the repairs were making so that it would not be condemned. It was that bad! Spending her money on home improvements was an acceptable expenditure to Social Services. I do feel that the letters that I wrote to Social Services and her money spent on making improvements to her home to make it livable prevented her from having her home liquidated for cash as payment/even at the end. I also wrote many letters to the last nursing facility about her physical and mental state, requesting different tests and evaluations before sending her home. She was too sick to go home and I knew that she would never be able to care for herself. She had been on oxygen almost full time since Covid, could not go to the bathroom by herself, and was not able to prepare foods for herself. Yet, the facility still had decided to discharge her without securing any home Aids through her Medicaid. At the end, she decided not to fight any longer and Hospice was called in the last ten days to the nursing home before her death. She was only 63 pounds. Additionally, I do believe that if other family members are living in the home, they can not be used it for payment. The Nursing facilities can and will request payment after death if there is money. I live in Virginia and this was my experience. I recommend looking up the laws for your state and having the POA write letters and being the best advocate possible. The battle was worth it if you have the energy and time. You will learn a lot too. Hopefully, eventually, the residence can be available for family members that need a place to live. All the best!

Seek input from an attorney specialized in " Elder Law". You may be able to head off a lot of stuff by getting the information from this type of source. Most people are not aware of all of the nuances of aging and affording it and, protection for both the aging family member and the family . Seek professional input, usually an " Elder Law" attorney is a good start.

I am my aunt's sole caregiver. She is in a very nice ALF right now, bedridden, with dementia but will be out of money by the end of the year, at which time she'd have to leave. (They told me they don't take Medicaid.) I can move her to a smaller room which would only delay the inevitable, but I've been told by another resident's family that "arrangements can be made" for her to stay. This couple exchanged a look, but wouldn't expand on the comment, just told me to talk to mgmt. Since my aunt lives one state over from me (an hour's drive), if she has to leave her beautiful ALF, the best alternative near me is a veteran's home (my uncle was WWII), which will take Medicaid but her room would be tiny and I'm afraid she'd become depressed and I'd lose her. It's bad enough dealing with her dementia. I've already applied for her Medicaid in my state, but what happens if her ALF "quietly" takes Medicaid after all, and she needs it in HER state?? I'd have to start all over. This whole process is overwhelming, and I just want the best for her. Thank you for listening....

Actually, I doubt that the poster is around. If you click on the profile the kitty pops up. She got logged out and may not be able to login again.

I think our world is coming to an end and I don't count on living with dignity past age 75 to 80.

I don't know where you live but in the state of Iowa what I had to do for my BIL was to spend down his finances to get below $2000 for Medicaid to come in. My BIL has social security and a pension so he uses that minus the $50 to pay to the nursing home then Medicaid steps in to pay the rest. He is in memory care at a nursing home. I was his rep. payee for social security but I am not now because of being turned in all the time from his side of the family they wanted his money. The last straw was being turned into social security for misuse of funds they said I went on a lavish vacation with his social security which I was unfounded there too. Also being turned into DHS twice that was unfounded too.

Your mother will use her social security to pay for the memory care and then Medicaid will come in and pay the rest. She will have only $50 out of her social security to pay for things that she needs. If you get her below the $2000 that will go into a trust at the nursing home to pay for things that she needs like clothes and other things.

I would go talk to someone who knows about Medicaid. Also her memory care facility should know about Medicaid. In my case they helped me turn it over to them.

Prayers

I don't have the answer to the original poster's question, but many of these replies only add to the fear and confusion he/she must be feeling. Unless we have some hard facts to help the questioner move forward with a solution to this particular problem, maybe we should reconsider our own posting.

In Virginia…you have to qualify for a nursing home..Dementia alone does NOT qualify you. You must fail at many daily living skills. Medicaid does not pay for memory care or assisted living. My mom goes broke in 18 months..if her health stays this good I have been told I will need to care for her myself because she does not qualify for a NH..…I will bring her home to my subsidized apartment situation and see if the state/Virginia medicaid will give us some part time nursing help in my home....I am 72 with major back issues. Moms 89…scary future ahead.. it could last 5-10yrs…..thank God for counseling!

How much time is left before your mother runs out of her funds? What I have read is that your mother likes where she lives. However, she should move to a Medicaid licensed facility to finish aging in place. It is inhumane to send an aging senior to the street because she cannot pay.

I hope to soon move to a Medicaid licensed place, like in 5 to 10 years, where I may age in place. I'm only 67 today, so it will start as independent living since I cannot do this where I am now since I live alone without local relatives. I must count on Social Security as my primary income, the sell of my condo of 30 plus years and some investments to fund my care.
Unfortunately, I keep hearing about Social Security benefits possibly getting cut by about 23% in ten years, yes even from the Social Security website itself. Our President has also expressed concerns about working out a budget. I do need to sell my condo before these next ten years are up so I do not lose this investment for my care. So now, this money timeclock is quickly running out to possible disaster if Congress gets their way.

Medicaid kicks in when she is out of money.

In many - most? - memory cares and ALFs, when the money runs out the person leaves. Low income nursing homes and dumping at the ER so that the person becomes a "resident" at the hospital take over. Hospitals are becoming like they were back in the olden days when the rich stayed far far away from hospitals because they were awful places.

And it's not going to get better anytime soon in this country for anyone. The squeeze is on and hard across all age groups. The rich have been getting richer for years now while the poor get poorer. And who enabled that transfer of wealth? The politicians!

Vote? Do you really believe the corrupt politicians are going to throw their wealthy benefactors aside for you, for ordinary voters? If you believe that, I have a bridge to sell you in Brooklyn.

Read the news. Layoffs at all levels. McDonald's is laying off mid-level executives!

Chicago - you said it best: The. Rich. Are. Winning. Bill Gates is one of if not the biggest owners of farmland land in the country.

This all makes me want to watch George Carlin.

I recently read a horrible article about how Venture Capital firms are buying nursing homes / long term care homes and forcing those whose money runs out to leave. Also how little spending money Medicaid allows Medicaid patients to have--not enough to buy good shaving equipment, etc. Venture Capital firms have also been buying trailer parks and raising the rent for the lots and people are forced to become homeless. The rich are winning

You have all the answers here below. MC is so costly. Few facilities that have ALF and a moveup to MC allow clients to stay after the money runs out, and this is usually on the contract and pointed out to you when you go in. When the money is gone, so are you. SOME facilities, however, do allow medicaid patients who are residents for some period of time to stay. It is likely too late for you at this point to check on this if your Mom is already in a facility that you like, and her funds are running low.

So it would be simply the application to medicaid, and probably a move to a facility that accepts medicaid. In our reality today in the USA that often means a less nice facility, a less well staffed facility, hence less safe for the elder. You have a 98 year old loved elder now receiving good care; try not to predict the future. We have an aging population that still votes. We can hope things get better in elder care. We can hope.

I've read that some "better" facilities may accept medicaid if a resident has been able to self pay for a number of years, that might be something to ask about as you look for the best facility.

She spends her assets for care and if it runs out, applies for Medicaid whereby her Social security income will be used towards the cost of her long term care. She'll get to keep a small amount of her monthly SS check for personal items. If her current MC does not accept Medicaid, she'll have to relocate to a Medicaid approved SNF or other long term care facility.