For a person with no family, what is best choice? A trust or a DPOA and MPOA?

I, too, look forward to hearing other ideas. In the meantime, I will tell you what I have done. My sister used to be my financial and medical POA. But, after my current experienced in being my mom's POA, I have come to the understanding that being a POA is a younger person's game, so to speak. At this time, I am in my mid 60s. I am guessing that, should I need the services of a POA, my sister might be a good deal older than she is now. What I did was to find two younger friends and had my attorney assign them as financial and medical POAs. I was very careful in my selection process. These are two women I know very well and have known for decades. Both are wives and mothers; one is like a daughter to me. One is in her early 50s, while the "daughter" just turned 40. Both are very responsible people. I would like to add that I purchased two filing cabinets (one fire proof) and have carefully organized all of the paperwork they would need, should I not be able to take care of myself and should I have to go into a nursing home. I also created a typed 32-page document that would guide them through all of the information, and that document is kept in a "read me first" folder. I also have a spreadsheet listing all of my IDs and passwords. I keep all documents updated at all times. I have informed the two women as to my setup. In short, I have tried to make everything as easy as possible for my POAs, should they need to perform their duties. Lastly, I will mention that one is in my state and one is not. What is important is not where the POAs are located but, rather, if they are people who I can count on. I hope this helps some, and I look forward to other comments. Clearly, you need to get your brother out of the picture. I would move quickly but thoughtfully on that.

Cat, you're wise to address these issues now. And they are difficult ones to consider.

First, let's divide care while you're living between financial management of your assets after your death.

This is not a criticism, but hopefully rather clarification. You wrote:

" A trust with a CPA as financial trustee and a friend as personal trustee to make medical and personal decisions for me, or a DPOA with CPA and a Medical POA with friend for the same purpose? I've already set up a will."

1. A Trust, depending on your assets, can be created to provide funding for your care while you're alive, but it also would be the guiding document after your death. The Will would have to be amended to "pour-over" into the Trust so that the provisions dovetailed.

You can have co-trustees with separate and complimentary responsiblities.

2. While you're alive, either a springing POA activated on your incapacity or a DPOA creating authority notwithstanding any incapacity, would be the documents needed for someone to manage your financial and legal assets and activities.

3. A Living Will, or other type of advanced directive, would allow someone to make medical decisions for you if you're unable to or are incapacitated.

The legal and medical grants of authority are separate documents.

4. If you have heirs or friends you want to have your possessions, you can explore creation of dual ownership now, with the assets to be transferred on death. Houses can be retitled this way. Financial assets can be shared this way. But obviously, you REALLY need to be certain of anyone's character, intent, support, etc. before creating these kinds of joint ownership documents.

Second, choice of individuals to act in your behalf. I think this is the more challenging issue.

1. As others have written, friends can act, as can professionals. Be aware that attorneys handling your estate are going to bill it; that could be a significant depletion of assets if billed at the attorney's standards rates. $250 to $300 and up, or even lesser rates for paralegals, will cut into the assets fairly quickly.

And attorneys do retire, or leave firms, so that issue needs to be addressed.

2. Good friends, business associates, etc. might also be candidates. Again, the criteria is how well you know and trust them. Eagle's post is very informative and helpful. She obviously gave a lot of consideration to her plans.

3. Some people rely on church friends; this is an option.

A caveat I have about friends is whether or not they have the knowledge to manage an estate, especially if it's in a trust. If you have reliable friends who don't, you might consider arranging an educational meeting with your attorney to help them be aware of what their responsibilities would be. It would be helpful as well if they could continue to rely on that attorney once their responsibiliies are activated. It provides some continuity.

I think overall that choosing someone, family or not, can be fraught with pitfalls. It's perhaps one of the most difficult choices we make with our lives.

What I haven't yet done for myself is discuss with my own attorney how to create joint assets for what little I have, or assets that are payable on death only so I don't have to worry about my meager assets being a temptation for anyone.

Perhaps the larger concern though is that no one in the family has any legal management experience, and that's not going to change, so I need to plan (as Eagle has done) so that hopefully any and all questions could be addressed by the "manual."

My aunt did this; after she died my cousin told me all her papers were together and in order, and it was easy for him to easily determine what assets existed and how he would manage them.

Wish I could offer more concrete solutions, but sometimes I think people who do have family can be tempted to rely on them, but never really know what could change along the way and whether or not the decisions made were wise.

To all - think about the experience and capability of those you designate.
Friend of friend designated former pastor as executor. The guy was going to 'give' the house(700k) away to church member/contractor, to detriment of 7 named in will/trust. Guy was clueless and is still working on things after 2 years - too cheap to hire attorney or accountant. My friend's distribution checks have been rejected by credit union because he can't get the name straight. and so on. Executor has minimal money/investing smarts. Because I have real estate knowledge, I stepped my friend through what should be done, referrals + steps to get it done right. She then had to do extra work to inform clueless executor so house was not given away. Thankfully executor followed the lead to some extent and was amazed at what they got for the house. Church contractor was not interested in paying what house was worth - no surprise.

2) Will the person you designate for health care POA have the time + energy required? Does that younger person have family + parents + a job to deal with?
How will helping you impact their lives? How will it impact their relationships with spouses, children, employer/employees? Is it fair to that person you want to deisgnate?

I am in process of interviewing (geriatric) care managers. Hopefully I'll find one that I click with and can designate that company/person as my POA. and friends can cooperate + advise a care manager. I don't have a friend that I want to saddle with the responsibility, not because I don't trust them, but I recognize the toll it will take. I'd rather have them visit me + have a nice time + not increase their stress.
Provide an alternative designee. Your need/situation may come at the worst time in life for other person and may be too much to deal with.

Fiduciaries, daily money managers + CPAs can assist with money management.
And the attorney should specialize in trusts + wills.

Really think about the expertise + burdens you are going to ask others to shoulder. Provide alternatives. Perhaps include a statement that a designee hire an appropriate professional to help them through the process.

I'm not qualified to give financial advice, I would seek the advice of an elder law attorney. For myself, I would have an EL attorney be my DPOA & a friend, someone you absolutely trust (because, as we all know, it can be an emotional ride) to be you POA. Good luck!!

Just went through this and, should my husband not be living, very probable, my lawyer will be in charge.

Sadly, could NEVER trust my daughter for the same reasons you have mentioned. But one must face facts as they are and make a good decision.

I am at peace with this.

We are splitting the responsibilities between a personal representative and trustee. The personal representative administers the will. The trustee over sees our care. My daughter is responsible, but if she wasn't I would have an attorney be the personal representative, whose job is to over see liquidation of assets, like the house. Our retirement accounts have the "special trust" as beneficiary. The money goes into a "special trust" that the trustee oversees for our care. Our trustee is a professional guardian. I figure they are experts in overseeing care at home or in a facility. By law they have to account for everything they spend. I don't want my family to have to do the caregiving I'm doing. The personal representative also distributes our personal property, like jewelry, photos, etc, according to a signed document that specifies who gets what. Any money left after we die is divided among our kids.

cjrun5 Thinking of you and hoping for the best for you both.

If you want someone who acts like the "role" of a very-involved daughter (or son), consider hiring a geriatric care manager. This profession is not well known, but is growing. You can find one (in the US) by going to aginglifecare.org and using their "find an aging life care expert" search. Some of these companies will assume guardianship; however, many do not. What's nice about them is that they don't limit their scope to legal issues, medical issues, financial issues, or social issues. They coordinate all of these things to "look out" for you, to help you live the best life possible given your circumstances.

How does one find a professional guardian and how much do they cost? Yes to the geriatric care manager. I also wrote down everything, everything and put it in my safe. from self care, to where to find passwords, etc. my advanced directives has LOTS of addendums.....for inpatient care, for home care, for pharmacy...There are directions for the "gee I just dropped dead" scenario and the ""gee I woke up in a coma" scenario and "omg I have dementia" scenario..and the "sudden heart attack scenario. all of which are slightly different in terms of what the care needs would be. There is a stash of cash somewhere for movers to clear out the house and where to take the stuff. There is The prepaid final disposition of remains. Some places scatter cremains at sea so that is done as well. no need to worry about claiming the body or bothering anyone. There is something to be said for that quote about letting the dead bury their own dead. I talk to my doctors. A LOT. I think we are pretty well open about the circle of life and what i need and I don't anticipate any surprises. Of course with my luck there will be some. I speak as someone who pretty much lives at the doctor office as a person with disabilities. Disowned by family since age 14. Used to it.

regarding both the clergy and the legal aid society.....same issues as with family...don't trust blindly....have been burned by both before...I got lousy advice from legal aid societies, who assumed that just because I had public health benefits forgot that also had an education and the potential to develop assets...or partnerships. clergy can be incredibly biased as well, and ones personal end of life choices might not always jive with ones denominational practices or investing options...sometimes they do, and sometimes there are people that actually do right by a person, but I learned to keep my eyes open.