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I am expecting my first visit from APS after filing for assistance for heating oil this coming winter. I was told by the worker this is mandatory as I am caregiving for an elderly person (my father) and they want to “assess the situation”. I was approved for the grant but was told an APS worker will come unannounced at any time. I’m an overachieving basket case and have no idea what to expect or what the process is. We live in a two family house with dad (functioning dementia) on the first floor. I am on the second floor. Will they just want to see dad’s environment or will they inspect the entire house? Although it’s clean, I am single and my apartment is messy — but I keep dad’s immaculate. I’d like to not have to stress myself with cleaning my place if they won’t even bother coming in there. Also, what do they ask? Do they speak to him directly or us together? How long do they stay and what do they want to see as far as records go? He is happy and well cared for, but by nature I am an excessive worrier and am not happy someone is coming in poking around over a heating bill. If it helps I am in upstate NY.

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Relax, rush. They will assess the situation to make sure dad is well cared for. Remember they are there to help dad and you.

They will check for cleanliness, fridge for spoilt foods, bathrooms, etc. Does dad look well kept, clean and above all happy?
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RushGirl2112 Nov 2019
Sorry, new to posting in forums , I’m a reader ! Accidentally hit wrong place to reply. Oops!
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Thank you gladimhere! Dad is very happy, friendly, social and sweet. Almost 80 and has dressed like a slob all his life . I have tried for decades but he just likes his old comfortable clothes that are stained and worn to death. I hope that won’t be an issue, but even if not I’m sure I’ll find something else to obsess about 🙄
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Personally, I don't like the reply function, too tedious to read an entire discussion.

Dressing like a slob does not mean he is not well taken care of. Certainly, APS has seen it many, many times before and recognize this is a behavior often seen in dementia. Just start trying to sneak, if you have to, to launder his clothing. Just do not let him know.
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RushGirl2112 Nov 2019
Thanks, glad. It is so easy to lose sight of that. I was completely blindsided by them saying they are concerned. Jeeze it’s an oil heat bill reduction program. I felt like I was being interrogated and pictured what they do on TV with search warrants rummaging and stomping through both our places looking for evidence. The human body is a fascinating machine but lacks a complete off switch.. not just sleep mode. Thanks for the support, it does help.
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LOL,
" stress myself with cleaning my place " .
i may get the CPS / judge / orphaned grandson visit of a lifetime some day . it will be unannounced as well .

if im chosen to raise the kid it will be for reasons much ' deeper ' than tidy housekeeping .

rushgirl ,
relax . APS has seen some bad situations and theyve seen many ' phony ' situations . the interaction between you and your dad is ( in my experience ) what theyre trained to scrutinize .
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RushGirl2112 Nov 2019
Thanks Captain, makes sense, feeling a lot better with your response . It’s true you can’t fake interactions and if anything dad would be defensive and guarded. Unless he says something stupid which he does a lot. Good example he told the wash machine repair guy out of nowhere, “I had beer for breakfast!”. I wanted to die! You what!?
Oh I really wish you the best with your own CPS issue. Bless you for looking after the little guy.
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Rush, APS may ask questions that you think are none of their business. Try not to get angry or defensive. That will not help at all with interactions you may have with them. Answer their questions, avoid rambling, be courteous and appreciative of their help. Ask if there are any suggestions that they have that would be make dad safer or the home safer.
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RushGirl2112 Nov 2019
Oooh great tips, thank you. In essence, smile, be polite and tell them what they need to hear. And then, “here’s your hat, why the hurry?” LOL. How long do these visits last about? Couple of hours?
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Rush... I sense you're still not relaxed. ;-)

We experienced a slightly different scenario where my mom's dr. called APS because we hadn't implemented 24 hr care. She lived (and still lives) by herself at home, and at the time she had mild/moderate signs of dementia. We made a conscious decision to give her has much independence for as long as possible, so we started slow and worked up to 24/7 care - 4hrs every other day to 4hrs every day to 8hrs every day, etc.

We were nervous, but we knew we had acted in our mom's best interest by maintaining her sense of independence. An APS representative showed up unannounced, and the entire visit was about an hour. In our case, the caseworker first asked to talk to our mom alone, then to us alone (myself and my brother), and then to all of us together. Questions were simple and straightforward. She then did do an inspection of the home, which, honestly, was GREAT! She found some things that we could change to make the home safer: put in a handrail on the two steps leading out to the garage, add emergency lighting, check smoke alarms (oh, gosh, when was the last time mom changed the batteries in the smoke alarms?), etc. For us it was a very helpful visit.

I think the bottom line with the APS is that they'll want to see that your father isn't being neglected, that he is loved, and that he is happy and cared for. They will look at the nitty-gritty, but as long as you are honestly doing your best to care for your father, they won't "ding" you. They really are there to help, so they may make suggestions, but as I said, we found the suggestions very helpful.

Good luck... and relax!
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RushGirl2112 Nov 2019
Relax? Not in my vocabulary 🤣! Thanks blue for sharing your experience. This is super overwhelming. Mom was taking care of him, married 50 years. She passed suddenly of a stroke in February and I’m slowly trying to adapt to this caregiver thing while balancing grief, my own issues etc. It gets overwhelming!
Would you mind sharing what they asked? Did they walk through every room opening doors fridge and closets? Look at financial records? Or is this just an informal kind of “hey, how are things with you guys”?
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In RI I found out that all they care about is if the elderly person is safe in their home. They made my brother have live in 24/7 care for my 97 year old mom with dementia because she was no longer safe living alone.
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RushGirl2112 Nov 2019
Thanks Jade! I live with dad in the same house in the upstairs apartment (he is below) so I guess that’s a plus. He never ventures upstairs, in fact I have a baby gate across the steps just in case. 97 years old, god bless her! Yes, from what I have been reading I suppose they are looking to see a “normal” safe clean place. He’s got that so I should be okay. It’s my mess upstairs I worry about! :)
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Yes, I would tidy up. Look at it as a message to tell you to do so. Mess constitutes a fire hazard when it is bad enough, and is not looked upon lightly at all. My Daughter lost everything in a fire and while other roommates lost very little, in her place the fire just crawled pile to pile where she had too many clothes stacked. She lost her bike, jewelry, sewing machine, photographs and everything she had to wear as well as her furniture. So tidy wins the day. A good incentive to keep it that way, and get rid of fire hazards.
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RushGirl2112 Nov 2019
I’m sorry to hear about your daughter Alva. Point taken! Thank you!
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How long do visits last? Who knows? My situation was different. I was investigated by APS after false reports to them by the twisted sissies. Each visit was an hour to hour and a half. The best thing I did was invite them into the home and not be afraid to talk with them, answered their questions, listened to their suggestions, and did not argue with them, there was nothing to argue about. Their job is to look out for the elder, while providing support for the caregiver when they see that the elder is receiving excellent care.
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RushGirl2112 Nov 2019
Hi glad, thanks for responding. I’m sorry you had to go through that and hope it’s all over for you now. Do you remember what they had asked? I plan to be the perfect entertainer when they do come. Smiling, being polite and being prepared for the drill beforehand. I guess they just ask the basics like routine? Meals? Etc.?
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Rush,
To answer your questions...

What did they ask?
I have no idea what they asked my mom, but I can only assume is was things like: Are you happy here? Do you feel safe? What's your typical day like? Etc...
They ask me and my brother things like: Can your mom get dressed, shower, go potty by herself? Has she ever wandered on her own outside the house? Does she cook for herself? Etc...

Did they walk through every room opening doors fridge and closets?
No. Nothing like that. They are looking for specific things related to safety, and are not interested in your "dirty laundry." ;-) Like I said, it was things like smoke alarms, access and trip hazards, emergency lighting, etc. Since you have a two-level home, they may want to make sure your father does not have an easy access up the stairs. Mostly just common-sense things.

Look at financial records?
Nope, and I don't think they would even be allowed to.

:-)
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RushGirl2112 Nov 2019
Oh thanks Blue, that makes me feel a lot better! Best to my ability it will be fine if that’s the case. This really helps a lot! :) THANKS
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.Hugs & good luck to you, RushGirl.

And boy have my eyes been opened: I live in a mostly rural area and we don't even have Adult Protective Svcs. anymore; I had no idea they still had it anywhere. Oh, it's officially listed on my county's books but I heard that all but one of the caseworkers have either been laid off or moved into Child Protective Svcs.
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RushGirl2112 Nov 2019
LOL I got a kick out of your message. I used to live in NYC, then moved upstate NY to what I thought was rural until I read your message LOL maybe I’m rural-ISH !! Hahaha :) Thank you !
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You're welcome, RushGirl; you hang in there; my thoughts, hopes & best wishes are with you.
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RushGirl2112 Nov 2019
So sweet, thanks officer, you as well!
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