I am 32 years old, male, and my wife and six year old daughter and I live with my grandmother in her home. Granted, she practically raised me when I was young due to my mother being single and having to work to support herself and me. My mother took care of her for seven years living in her home and cared for her 24/7 until she got caregiver burnout and was hospitalized for seven days in a behavioral unit. She finally gave me an ultimatum of either moving out of the house (I have been living with my grandmother and mother in grandmother's home for years) so she could find other living arrangements for my grandmother either a nursing home or other. I could not bring myself to agree to my mom's terms, so she moved to an apartment. Now, I have the evening and weekend care of my grandmother while my mother assists her everyday from 9:00am to 2:30pm. My mother is 66 years old, single and has Emphysema and severe bursitis so I can understand her need to take care of herself since she has no husband. But my major gripe at the moment is that my grandmother hates the meals I prepare for her and will not eat them. She gripes about the food not being healthy, however, I spend quite a bit of time cooking nutritious food for my wife and child as well as her. How do I get her to eat my meals without losing my sanity? Thank you.
What does she want to eat? Can she tell you that? Be forewarned, though, that sometimes a person with dementia will say "chicken soup" and when served that says "Why did you bring me this? I hate chicken soup!" Sigh.
I tend to agree with Barb that grandmother may need a higher level of care than can be provided at home.
I don't understand why you would have to move out in order for your mother to find a different living arrangement for grandma. What is that about?
Your mother was so burned out that she spent a week in a behavioral center to recover, and now she is spending more than 5 hours a day taking care of her mother again, because you could not agree to her terms? What? Why would you do that to your mother?
I don't really understand this whole situation, but it sounds like grandma not liking your cooking is not the highest priority problem here.
(edit) Hm, the other post seems to be written by the mother using the same name - what's going on Sheba?
Ask her physician to look for Thrush Mouth and do a Candida Overgrowth check. It could be that nothing will taste good to Grandma if she has Candida Overgrowth in her gut. I could be wrong but my DH went through this in the early spring (he's 96) and after finding a better Probiotic and Candida Support, he's back to eating meals. For my DH, I also had to add Gas-X, 1 chewable daily, and his pains stopped.
When they age, they become almost like toddlers again and have trouble with digestion sometimes. Those 3 items straightened out my DH and he turned 96 last week.
Also, their appetites change when they age. So I make him his Hot Cocoa but I use Ensure as the base instead of milk. I add Ice Cream for extra calories and he loves it! Lately he wants it a couple of times a day - here at AgingCare, there is an article that says, if all they will eat is Ice Cream - give them Ice Cream.
It's not your cooking that is the problem. It's her appetite and the possibility she has the Candida Overgrowth in her gut. After only a couple of mouthfuls, she could just be full. Sadly, it's easier to say the food isn't good than that she just isn't hungry.
Have her checked as soon as possible. Life is easier for everyone when they are feeling better.
I agree that there is much more going on here than grandma not liking meals.
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