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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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Mostly Independent
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I would start by contacting Adult Protective Services (APS) through her county's Dept of Health and Human Services. Definitely tell them about your uncle's mental health issues and that you are concerned about neglect and that she is a "vulnerable adult". Does your Grandma have dementia or a chronic illness? Do you know for a fact that your uncle has Power of Attorney (PoA) - medical and/or financial? I wish you all the best in advocating for her!
The grandchild "misses" grandmother. Why would you suggest OP to call APS? There was nothing OP described as neglect. What would APS investigate? It could sound like OP is looking for a reason in referring to the mental health of the uncle. Even if uncle, as the caretaker, has mental issues then what effect is that having on his mother.
I think Geaton has the answer. Just be patient. Anything through gov't services is going to be slow.
If you have any reason to believe he is physically neglecting/abusing her, make sure that is part of your complaint.
Having POA is a slippery slope. Often the POA person just jumps in and makes ALL the decisions and the person for whom they are POA are just...stuck.
My YB has POA for my mom and he wields it like a shield. He thinks he can control who comes and goes, but mother is not incompetent. She is not allowed to make decisions and waits until she asks YB for 'permission'.
HOWEVER--she is OK with this dynamic and so the rest of us sibs just gave up trying to help and let things be.
Come to think of it, the only reason I have to believe he's mother's POA is because he SAYS he is. I think I will be making a couple phone calls today!
Can you communicate with grandma even with uncle standing guard? I'd hate to think she's feeling neglected and not even knowing why.
We had this happen in our family. POA had mental health history and was restricting access to LO. POA is a bully who is never wrong and will not be held accountable for anything. Ever. Any attempt at accountability or if we would have insisted on seeing LO.... POA would have just made us wait longer. It was all about control. Out of fear of fueling the fire, we simply waited it out and eventually we would get to see LO. It was horrible that she pulled this stunt and made it all about herself. Of course, *if* POA decided she herself wanted us there, we were to cheerfully and promptly appear. No excuses. Awful situation.
POAs exist for financial and medical decisions. Denying access to friends or family is not part of a POA and is an entirely different problem. Particularly if he has mental health issues, you really have no way of knowing what your uncle has been saying to his mother to isolate her from family and justify his actions. With the Covid epidemic, elder abuse is being aggravated by enforced isolation and social distancing. The question for you is how far are you willing to go to address the problem? If you have reason to believe your grandmother is being isolated and/or mistreated, I would recommend consulting with an elder attorney. They will probably have a number of suggestions including calling the elder abuse hotlines, contacting the police for a welfare check, contacting her bank about possible fraud/financial abuse, and contacting Social Security about fraud/abuse. Keep in mind that guardianship/conservatorship is about the only way to overcome a POA if you’re grandmother has dementia and cannot make legal decisions for herself and that can be a costly option. That’s what we had to do.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Are there more details?
If you have any reason to believe he is physically neglecting/abusing her, make sure that is part of your complaint.
Having POA is a slippery slope. Often the POA person just jumps in and makes ALL the decisions and the person for whom they are POA are just...stuck.
My YB has POA for my mom and he wields it like a shield. He thinks he can control who comes and goes, but mother is not incompetent. She is not allowed to make decisions and waits until she asks YB for 'permission'.
HOWEVER--she is OK with this dynamic and so the rest of us sibs just gave up trying to help and let things be.
Come to think of it, the only reason I have to believe he's mother's POA is because he SAYS he is. I think I will be making a couple phone calls today!
Can you communicate with grandma even with uncle standing guard? I'd hate to think she's feeling neglected and not even knowing why.