My daughter had her Alzheimer's father out most of the day yesterday. We got dinner going, I dished up his plate for him (he seems not to want to do it on his own). My daughter got her salad, I got mine, and handed the bowl to my husband. He sat the bowl down. Rather than putting the salad dressing on the salad (we usually take ours first and leave the rest for him). He proceeded to scrape his mashed potatoes onto the salad. We asked what he was doing with no response. I helped get his potatoes back on the plate and get the dressing on the salad. He proceeded to get up and go to the pantry. Asking what he was looking for with no response I let him go. He finally got into the refrigerator and got a drink. Throughout dinner he had a horrible time finding his words. Both my daughter and I chalked this up to his being tired and let it go. He didn't eat his entire meal, got up and proceeded to get ready for bed - it was before 7PM. He was in bed at 6:45PM. Totally out of the norm, but again I chalked it up to his being tired and let it go.
This morning there was a package delivery. He opened the door took the package to our daughter then proceeded to stay at the front door. My daughter asked what he was doing. His response, "I was just seeing if it was who I thought it was." The trash truck was picking up trash on the opposite side of the street. He was confused why they weren't picking up ours. My daughter had to explain to him that they did one side then the other.
This is all behavior totally out of the norm. He slept until almost 9AM the following morning! I'm going to watch him for the weekend. If it continues, I'll call is provider.
the "normal" shifts day to day, week to week, month to month and year to year.
As you suspect what I am getting at is there is no more "Normal"
He did what he did with the salad because he did not know what to do.
He looked in the pantry and did not respond to you because he did not know what he wanted.
My Husband went from a "normal" bedtime routine, brushing his teeth and going to bed about 10PM to brushing his teeth, folding his dirty clothes by his chair (so he could wear the clothes again the next day) , brushing his teeth and going to bed at 7PM.
He continued to go to bed at 7 every night but as he declined he slept more and more during the day. To the point where the last 6 months he slept about 20 hours and the last month he slept 23 to 24 hours with enough wake time for me to change him, shower him feed him. And even the showering changed to bed baths the last month.
So..there is no more Normal.
You do need to begin keeping an eye on him.
He will need help in the bathroom.
He will become incontinent if he isn't already.
He will need help with all aspects of grooming, dressing. the ADL's (activities of daily living)
I asked him the following day if he knew why he scraped the potatoes into the salad bowl (we usually give it to him so he can eat it right from the bowl if he choses. He told me "I know they all went together in the same place". Well partially right.
His bedtime used to be 10pm, now it's 8pm or earlier. Last night he didn't even tell my daughter and I "good night". I watch and report to his neurologist all changes, though they keep saying "mild to moderate", no staging. I'm guessing when I report this last episode I'll be told to start looking for assisted living or long term care. Thank God he is a veteran, having served 20 years in the AF, so he has VA to help with placement.
So far his norm was fairly consistent. I'm watching to see if this levels off for a bit. I'm expecting it to continue changing more rapidly with this last behavior. You're right, there is no normal any more.
If this is true, how are these things out of his norm?
This gentleman could be having a stroke or a brain bleed.
If these things are all out of the norm I cannot honestly imagine why you are not in an Emergency Room with him right now.
Please get to an emergency room ASAP for evaluation. I will meanwhile hope that you are looking at the results of something as simple to treat as a UTI and not a bleed.
Oh, by the way, he doesn't have a UTI.
I suppose the next thing you're going to tell me is getting him hearing aids to hopefully help his speech is out of the question, he's going to die anyway. No denial here, I'm trying to do all for him I can before I have to make the decision on placement.
So don't think a change for what was the norm for a bit isn't a new normal for him now. If I ran to the doctor or emergency room every time there was a change I may as well throw in the towel. Not quite ready there. There's a lot of people with loved ones on this forum with Alzheimer's and going through this. I only questioned is a "one time" out of the norm something to watch for further decline.
Don't make me and my daughter the bad guys. Wanta walk in our shoes for a day or two?
And the fact that you say that "he seems not to want to do his own" when it comes to plating his food, tells me that perhaps you're in a bit of denial when it comes to exactly what your husband can and cannot do for himself anymore.
He doesn't plate his food because he's forgotten just how that is done and needs your help.
He needs your help with a lot of things apparently and you and your daughter being in denial about it isn't going to help him one bit.
Your husbands brain is now broken and it will never get better but only worse, That is the sad truth about dementia. So the best thing that you and your daughter can do for yourselves is educate yourselves about dementia, so when more changes come(and they will)you will be better prepared and not so shocked by them.
And yes a UTI can bring on sudden changes as well, but if that is ruled out it just means that your husband has taken yet another step down in his Alzheimer's journey.
Our agreement is that facility placement is the solution if she becomes unsafe to stay in her home and/or I am overwhelmed by her care needs. I will keep her in her house as long as she can afford it and be there safely, and I'm not overwhelmed. This is the trigger I have chosen for our arrangement.
You ask, "Is it here to stay?" ... I'd say yes, and more and more every month and week, but it's so different for everyone. ALZ is different than other dementias, as you probably know. I know people with ALZ for whom it took a long time to run its full course, and others whose trajectory seems to be going 3 times as fast.
I worry about dehydration with my Mom too, as she is old-school daughter of immigrant parents and wasn't raised drinking water, so I have to keep an eye on that with her (and also because she hates feeling like she has to pee all the time).
Is your husband on meds for ALZ, like Aricept?