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I'm going to be honest with you because I did caregiving as work for 25 years and I operate a homecare agency now.

Based on what you've said about your wife: 76 years old, has Alzheimer's, depression, anxiety, and had a stroke it would probably be best of you placed her. You're not young yourself and the level of care she needs sounds like it's more than what homecare can provide. Alzheimer's disease only gets worse too.

Of course, you could go the homecare route and have live-in caregivers because your wife will need 24 hour care.

I would advise you to put her in a care facility though. You can stay with her all day every day if you want to. You can be her advocate to make sure she's well cared for too. There are facilities in which spouses can be together when one needs nursing home or memory care and the other is in good health and still independent.

Talk to one of the social workers where your wife is now and ask them about the things I've mentioned here. They can explain these options to you and help you.
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AlvaDeer Jun 9, 2024
Burnt:
This op wrote us in very early February that he had to place his beloved wife.
I am uncertain, without his providing us with more information now, where this question is coming from for him.
I hope he will give us a bit more info.
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From your profile:

"I am caring for my wife, who is 76 years old, living in a nursing home with alzheimer's / dementia, anxiety, depression, and stroke."

Long term care (LTC) is usually recommended by a doctor and is typically for when a person is no longer mobile, can't do their ADLs and requires daily medical help. Medicaid pays for LTC if one also qualifies financially.

This is a discussion that can be had with her doctor.
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AlvaDeer Jun 9, 2024
Geaton:
OP apparently placed his wife in care in Feb of 2023.
He hasn't since been back on Forum.
There are two posts from 2023 where he has questioned himself on having had to place his much loved wife.
I hope he will return to give us a bit more info.
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Hello again, Scout.
In February of 2023 you wrote us this:

"Today is a beautiful, sunny day in the Texas Hill Country and I am not going to visit my wife at her care center. I have been with her every day now since November 30th when she had a severe stroke. I love her deeply and yes, I have sunk to the depths of depression, cried rivers, felt sorry for myself and prayed for an end to this terrible situation that fate has dealt us. I brought her home from therapy twice and both times she returned to the hospital the next day by ambulance. She has been diagnosed with depression with behavior problems and confirms that diagnosis each time we see each other. I have made LTC arrangements for her, and have come to the conclusion that I could not care for her with full-time help, much less alone. I hope that folks understand that I just want her to be safe and cared for by someone with professional experience. I just hope we can be together in the next life and happy forever." end quote.

This was one of several posts you wrote us in 2023 saying you had placed your beloved wife in care because you were suffering anxiety, depression, inability to go on with 24/7 care.

Can you tell us what is happening now for you?
Have you brought your wife back home or are you contemplating doing so?
It seems to me, having re-read your 2023 posts that you made the right decision at that time.
As you will know, each decision in this regard is absolutely as individual as your own fingerprint.
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From the Feb posts I am assuming wife is already in a facility. Did you end up bringing her home. We really need more info.
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Rather than all of US trying to make sense out of your 4 word title, how about YOU do that for us?
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AlvaDeer Jun 9, 2024
I copied Scout's 2023 February Post, Lea, below.
Scout apparently placed beloved wife in February 2023.
Not sure what's up now, if this is simply a general curiosity question or if Scout may have taken his wife out of care, now wondering if that's a mistake.
I would say in general terms, when we choose to or must place a loved one is dependent on 100s of things to consider regarding loved one, ourselves and general health care all around.
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Hi scout , wellcome to are forum. I see your taking care of your wife from your profile.

Are you wondering when is a good time to put her in long term care? If that is what your asking, usually if your asking it's time. But we could use more information.

What's your wife's health issues, and age and anything else that would be helpful, so we can steer you in a right direction.

Welcome to are forum.
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AlvaDeer Jun 9, 2024
Nacy,
There are old posts under "following" for this OP. From Feb of 2023 when he placed his much loved wife into care. I worry he may now be questioning that, or may have taken her back home and is now reconsidering placing her again. I hope he will fill us in.
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When It is 24/ 7 care .
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