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Sibling is refusing to sign for son to be appointed executor until she receives 2 years of bank statements. Over the years, mom was adamant that her finances were her business and trusted her son. Can sibling request through legal channels the bank statements of the joint account (NYS)

Is the joint checking account the entire estate? If so, there is no estate to settle because the money belongs to the joint account holder. If there is other property then the son can apply to a court to be named administrator and the judge decides. Sister can fight it but in all likelihood she will get nowhere. Any money in any joint accounts or where there was a named beneficiary will not be subject to probate.
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Reply to Lovemom1941
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Do i have to go thur probate court if my mom was in a nursing home for less then a year and was on medicaid. with no will and she has a home that value less then 15,000 and I'm disable but live out of state and she has a car that is old and value at 500. also my brother has two children that is alive. I no I have to split the house if can get it with them. And she have my decrease bother on her bank account. help I don;t no what to do
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Reply to tonyaclark
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Those that do nothing always have their hands out after the person passes. TG my brothers did not care. Our parents never had much but it was nice they trusted me. Also, think they were glad they did not have to deal with it. Same with my MIL, the one who lived closest was Executor. He kept us in the loop but we never questioned him.

I don't remember my brothers having to sign anything for me to be Executor. I was named in the Will as executor. I filed the Will and received a short certificate to handle Moms estate.

If MIL died without a Will then someone needs to file to be an Administrator. Maybe in that scenario siblings must sign that they will not contest the assignment?

IMO, this is not the time to contest anything. That is done at the accounting when its showed how the estate was handled. Bills that need to be paid. Debits and credits. Thats when a beneficiary can contest the findings.

Me, if you can get 2 yrs of statements together, do it, My Moms showed her SS coming in and her bills going out.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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What exactly does sister think she needs to sign for him to be Executor - he either IS already - legally named so by his mother in writing. Or he isn't ; and a judge or someone with legal jurisdiction to name an executor would legally do so - again - not requiring sister to SIGN anything. She doesn't actually get a vote if he's already the Executor. And if the courts are deciding it - it STILL not up to her.
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Reply to BlueEyedGirl94
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"She is refusing to sign for him to be named executor..."

What is this about? Does this mean that your Mom didn't have a Will so there is no named Executor and now the estate is in probate and your husband (her son and prior caregiver) has applied to be the court-appointed Executor?

Can she hold up the closing of your Mom's estate final affairs?
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Reply to Geaton777
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If mom didn’t have a will, the court will need to appoint an executor. It’s a decision made by a judge and does not require the permission or approval of your sister-in-law. If her involvement is as you say, I cannot imagine a judge making her executor. You need to ask your attorney about this. As to the bank account, it belongs to your husband.
I’ll never understand why people get so mean and nasty when a relative dies. It serves a reminder, yet again, to be sure you have all of your estate planning done, documented and a trusted person named who will manage everything once you have died.
Best of luck with everything.
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Reply to RLWG54
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olddude Aug 27, 2024
It's all about the Benjamins.
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Thank you. Just to clarify I am not the sibling not willing to sign! And yes, the brother along with his wife (me) have been the caregivers! He has been helping his mom for years and she eventually came to live with us for about a year. His sister is claiming she will get a lawyer so she can see what money was spent for the last few years (his sister who also did not bother to speak to her mom this past year).
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Reply to Ldekkni
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AlvaDeer Aug 27, 2024
Hi Ldekkni. If you are the one who gave care and your hubby is on that account then that account belongs now to YOU and the sister can waste her time all she wishes to and will PAY for her attorneys to do so. To be honest, how DARE SHE. But we commonly see, on AC, those who DO dare. You have my condolences.
Likely your hubby is settling your mother's affairs after her death, and will have an attorney. He can confirm this with both YOUR BANKER and the attorney. This money is his.
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No . Once your mother died all that money legally became the joint owners money ( her son ).
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Reply to waytomisery
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No, of course not. If your mother made this a joint bank account then it now belongs SOLELY to the son. You have no right to anything regarding it.

If the son is NAMED the executor of the will then he IS the executor of the will and whether you sign something or not doesn't matter at ALL. If there IS no executor of the will then one will be appointed as "Administrator" which is what an executor is called when appointed to a person who died intestate (without a will). Any silly family member wanting to open a squabble around it will find that the state will HAPPILY assign a Fiduciary of the court to "administer the estate" and that will cost EASILY one third OF the Estate. So if you wish to make trouble, go for it, and lose all the money.

Back to the account. The account was likely held by both your mom and her son. If so, then the account BELONGS TO THE SON AND THE SON ONLY on her death. So you can't make any trouble THERE at all. If you wish to see who now holds this account you can certainly go to the bank and ask, tho you are very likely to get no private and personal information.

Wanting still to try to make waves? Welcome to it. An Elder Law attorney, so recently about 400.00 an hour, now cost 700 an hour or so. Find one you like lots, because he will be certain you see him often and pay up front.

I am truly sorry. I am so tired of squabbling families. Just tell me that your brother, her son, the holder of this account, wasn't ALSO the son who took care of her. Because if you tell me THAT I am likely to get even more mean.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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Ldekkni Aug 26, 2024
thank you for your response. My husband, “the son” is the one who helped his mother for years and eventually she did move in with us for about 10 months before she passed. His sister, who as you can probably guess lives 3000 miles away and has come home 3 times in the last 10 years. She is refusing to sign for him to be named executor because she wants to see the bank records from the joint account. Honestly after paying off his moms funeral expenses and hospital bills his intent was to split the remaining in that account with his two siblings. She had asked for an accounting of her mothers account while she was alive and her mother was adamant that we not give her it because she felt it was none of her business. But from your response it sounds like we should have our lawyer set her straight
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