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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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I acknowledge and authorize
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I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
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I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
That is classic covert narcissist behavior. I'm so sorry you are going through this. They will diminish anything you are experiencing in order to make their experience superior and of more importance. It is just best to share nothing like that with them. I have had to learn to accept that mom is not a person I can go to for comfort, so no venting, no complaining around her. "never let her see me sweat" is my new game plan.
It is because everything is about her, period. If I am sick, she is sicker, if I get hurt, she got hurt worse. Amazing how she gets issues the exact same time I do.
I have found not sharing any personal information is the best course to avoid feeling minimized and compared.
Knowing she doesn't care makes keeping things from her so easy and helpful to my mental health.
Sounds like my former mother in law and her son. I had a newborn and 2 older kids, the ex was working out of town 3 days a week from the time the baby was 2 weeks old. He did not have a physical job. Yet when he came home, he was out every evening and if I said I was tired, as in exhausted to the point of worrying about my ability to care for 3 children, he said, I am tired too. Sure, you are not providing any care to me or the kids when you are home. You go out every evening, and you get to tell your wife who is still recovering from childbirth you are more tired than she is. The crazy thing is I put up with him for another 15 years.
My Mum is hypercritical of any illness. As someone who has suffered from Migraines for 40+ years, anytime I got one or worse took medication for one, I was told she never gets a head ache. Also criticized for taking the medication that allowed me to continue to function, instead of vomiting, crying and writhing in pain. She criticizes anyone who takes prescription medication.
Reading your profile, your mother seems to have an awful lot of problems for a caregiver to cope with, especially one who is experiencing severe pain on a regular basis apparently.
Don't tell her things where her answer is always the same and annoying to boot! I learned not to say a lot of things to my mom, to help preserve some sanity. With my mom, it's a LOT of repetition which drives me batty. Like if you say "rhubarb" she HAS to tell the rhubarb story. Every. Time. So, I NEVER say rhubarb and a bunch of other trigger words.
Call someone who actually cares and will actually listen and converse with you about YOU.
Don't take it personally. Just accept that you can't talk to her about a lot of things anymore.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
It is because everything is about her, period. If I am sick, she is sicker, if I get hurt, she got hurt worse. Amazing how she gets issues the exact same time I do.
I have found not sharing any personal information is the best course to avoid feeling minimized and compared.
Knowing she doesn't care makes keeping things from her so easy and helpful to my mental health.
Try it, it might work for you too.
My Mum is hypercritical of any illness. As someone who has suffered from Migraines for 40+ years, anytime I got one or worse took medication for one, I was told she never gets a head ache. Also criticized for taking the medication that allowed me to continue to function, instead of vomiting, crying and writhing in pain. She criticizes anyone who takes prescription medication.
How are you coping with this?
Call someone who actually cares and will actually listen and converse with you about YOU.
Don't take it personally. Just accept that you can't talk to her about a lot of things anymore.